I Should Take My Own Advice

17 Nov

I am great at giving advice. I know this sounds like one of those sweeping statements, but I am particularly good at listening to all the points of view and then giving a measured answer (if I don’t say so myself!) I think I missed my calling in life, as a judge. My word would be final. But honestly though, I am a bit of a messiah for the afflicted, and I regularly find myself with a housemate on the end of my bed, pondering the great mysteries of what to do about this or how to go about that.

If only I could take my own advice. If I could, I would be a much better and more rounded individual. It applies to every corner of my life, and annoys me at how easy it would be just to listen to my own sage advice, rather that knowing that what I am about to do is wrong, yet doing it anyway. I don’t even plunge in without any warning, I’m one of those sorts of girls whose angel on her shoulder is screaming “DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!! THIS WILL END BADLY!!!”, so she just brushes it into her knicker drawer, slams it closed and proceeds anyway.

Example number one: Work.

If there is something that happens with my friends at work that they are concerned about or feel that they aren’t getting help with, I give good advice. I instruct them to be calm and explain rationally what is the issue and how they feel it could be resolved, being constructive and not getting upset.

My reality: I know this all to be true, yet I keep quiet over certain things for too long. Then when I get so annoyed about something that I just have to bring it up, it makes me look like I am having a massive rant over something really small, rather than adding to something that people are already aware of. I’m aware this makes me come across as abrupt and a bit difficult, and it’s funny because that’s not what I’m like at all.

Example number two: Men.

The age old story, I can give my advice but I cannot take it. Man messing my sister around? Just don’t answer the phone any more. Boy giving my housemate grief? Maintain your distance. You are better than that. Toughen up.

My reality: I used to be fairly easy going, until recently. Said individual and I stopped seeing each other on the basis that he was too busy with work and lives a bit away which made the whole thing a bit fraught and more stressful than it should be. The issue is, we still talk to each other. And I don’t think this is healthy for me. He calls, I miss it. I call him back, he misses it. We carry on playing answerphone leapfrog till one of us messages the standard sorry love, missed you, try again tomorrow, hope you’re well…. text. I went through a stage where I thought I would not answer the calls any more, it would get easier and life would resume as normal. Oh no. What really happens is that I miss the call, find myself feeling all smug that I have resisted the urge to pick it up and babble inanely about my week, but then end up either messaging apologising for missing the call, or calling back the next day, and the answerphone leapfrog continues.

Example number three: (this is a silly one) Car Maintenance.

If my friend breaks down because she played the petrol lottery, I wisely instruct her that maybe in future she should fill up more often (I’m conscious that I’m sounding a little patronising!) and do the whole oh well you’ll know for next time won’t you? line.

Yet should my car flick onto the fuel light on the way home I do a petrol bargain with myself. I think that I can get home on the fuel light, and I will have a cup of tea and then head out later to fill up my tank. I get up the next morning, having forgotten to go back out, and the fuel light twinkles at me all the way to work. No matter, I think, ill head out at lunchtime so that I don’t have the same trouble as yesterday with not wanting to head out again. But then I eat some lunch, forget and do the mad dash from the office to the petrol station while the fuel light flashes manically at me, my car threatens to die and runs just on the petrol fumes.

There are some things I will just never learn!

What advice of your own should you take?

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25 Responses to “I Should Take My Own Advice”

  1. Ape No. 1 November 17, 2011 at 9:45 am #

    That I should not leave a comment on a post unless I have something useful to say 🙂

  2. coachrahul November 17, 2011 at 9:48 am #

    I empathize with the sentiment and the post. I too am great at giving advice but don’t always follow it when it comes to me.

  3. visitingmissouri November 17, 2011 at 10:08 am #

    You should count yourself lucky. If everyone would follow the advice they’d give to others, there wasn’t any for us to give. Nothing beats the feeling of a well-timed ‘I told you so.’

  4. Bluejellybeans November 17, 2011 at 11:11 am #

    This is soo funny!
    I guess we all are a little bit like that 🙂

  5. nicole November 17, 2011 at 11:18 am #

    my thanksgiving advice on eating! i think that i’ll take it this year!
    http://nicoleandgwendolyn.com/2011/11/16/thanksgiving-safety-2-size/

    ps: your automobile section made me laugh!!!

  6. Elyse November 17, 2011 at 12:20 pm #

    My sister was always asking for advice from me — and then doing the opposite. I modified my style and told her to do something stupid, and she became so incensed that I would suggest such a thing that she eventually usually made a better decision.

    So how do you work on self-delusion?

  7. gojulesgo November 17, 2011 at 1:02 pm #

    Ooh I’m intrigued by this fellow. It sounds like you still like him? I am terrible at giving advice. But I guess the advice I’d like to give myself is: Loosen up! I wish I could be a true free spirit and not care what other people think.

    P.S. – I haven’t responded to comments on my latest post yet, but yours (about the chicken) KILLED me! Brilliant!

    • tinkerbelle86 November 17, 2011 at 7:32 pm #

      yeah i think thats a private conversation 🙂 my chicken comment made even me laugh. i have a random question… how close is where you live to Newark airport? x

      • gojulesgo November 17, 2011 at 8:38 pm #

        LOL I had to ask 😉

        I used to live pretty close to Newark airport, but now that I’m out in the sticks of western NJ, I’m probably a little over an hour drive away. Newark is one of the reasons NJ has such a crappy reputation, LOL Not a good way to welcome people to the “garden state”!

  8. susielindau November 17, 2011 at 2:56 pm #

    Great post!
    I think I would tell myself to not to worry so much. A lot of things have a way of working themselves out.

  9. countingducks November 17, 2011 at 3:16 pm #

    I have to agree, we often seem our sense of wisdom always seems to be better when directed at someone else

  10. prenin November 17, 2011 at 3:46 pm #

    Naver be ashamed of what is written about you,
    Even when what is published is not true…

    Love and hugs!

    Prenin.

  11. spree November 17, 2011 at 5:56 pm #

    I so enjoy you! Thank you for the ever-amusing, often touching, self-revealing ways you comment on life! It’s a breath of fresh!
    As for the advice of mine I wish I followed: “oh, love, don’t take it personally!”

    • tinkerbelle86 November 17, 2011 at 7:36 pm #

      Im really bad at not taking things personally. but im learning!!

  12. theduffboy November 17, 2011 at 6:34 pm #

    Oh, now I have a name for what I do on an almost weekly basis: The Petrol Lottery! Now, regarding the advice, I think I heard it on a tv show (maybe Friends or Seinfeld): “That actually sounded better in my head”. My advice would be: “Keep it in there, dude, don’t speak the words”. 🙂

    • tinkerbelle86 November 17, 2011 at 7:32 pm #

      hahah thats advice i should definately take 🙂

  13. kathryningrid November 17, 2011 at 7:42 pm #

    I’m getting to the point where I think that advice is *defined*, like some kitchen gadgets, as being something I give away freely because I know it’s a very good thing that should come in handy but I don’t know how to use it properly myself. 🙂

  14. nelle November 17, 2011 at 8:19 pm #

    First would be not to listen to me, I have a bad habit of following my advice. Actually, no. I’ve spent time teaching younger folk to be themselves and not what others wish them to be, and to be kind to themselves. I am brutal self-critic, actually. As a Reiki practitioner, I do try, and while better, the tendency remains.

  15. Sharvil November 17, 2011 at 8:29 pm #

    Ah I hardly follow my advice too and people keeping saying “Why take advice from you when you don’t follow it yourself?” but they still end up taking my advice because I’m a good listener and I analyze things pretty well and then give them a good piece of advice!

    Well one of the things for which I should take my own advice is, START STUDYING BEFORE ITS TOO LATE! 😐

  16. Tori Nelson November 17, 2011 at 8:59 pm #

    The other day a friend was asking me about my recent weight loss. I found myself describing in detail a healthy regimen of diet and exercise…. while I smoked a pack of cigarettes. The picture of health, no?

  17. barkinginthedark November 17, 2011 at 10:32 pm #

    i confess…i do give advice because…I GOT A BIIIG MOUTH! continue…

  18. Team Oyeniyi November 18, 2011 at 12:59 pm #

    Are you sure you are not my long lost daughter or something?

  19. The Redneck Princess November 18, 2011 at 4:13 pm #

    Hahahahaha…I was just going to ask her the same thing Robin 🙂

  20. Meredith Barnes November 29, 2011 at 11:08 pm #

    I’m the resident therapist to my friends…I tell them I should bill them…Have also thought if only I could take me own advice to heart!

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