Little Known Facts

1) My best friends are my favourite people in the world. Especially when sitting in an old man pub somewhere, cackling and shocking the slightly League of Gentleman pub stuff with our conversations.

2) I’m in love with Jon Bon Jovi. I’d like to say it’s the guitar and the rock god aura, but i think it’s actually the hair. I appreciate that people do not judge, but make me birthday cards with his face plastered all over and invite me to Abu Dhabi just to see him. That’s love.

3) I hate horses and spiders. Horses have an evil look about them and poo everywhere (I used to go out with a guy who lived at stables and one pooed on his doorstep!?), and since proudly hoovering up a beast of a spider and showing Row in the Dyson, only to have it wave at me, I hate the bastards.

4) I still have a lump on my skull from getting really pissed, going to the loo in the night and running straight in the door frame instead of through the door. I think it will be there for life, needless to say Paul laughed for 25 mins, nearly passing out due to lack of air while i dramatically sobbed my heart out. The people in the house downstairs must have thought i was suffering domestic abuse, not a pissed injury.

5) I can’t do Sudoku. This really bothers me. Not even the kids ones. I’m shit with numbers and struggle to remember my pin code.

6) I know all the words to the fresh prince of bel air, and I’m proud.

7) I have abnormally wonky ears, so whenever I wear my glasses people ask if I have sat on them.

8..) I have a weird crying problem. I cry at everything. This doesn’t necessary mean I’m sad, it’s just a release of tension. My mum still laughs about the time she came home to find me watching news round, crying at the yellow baby and how its life would never be normal. It only had jaundice and would be fine. I on the other hand, had PMS.

9) I regularly freak out. Especially about where my car keys are. I know, it’s annoying, but endearing?? If you ask anyone close to me I’m sure they would disagree. It’s so irritating.

10) I love dip. Not salsa, but any other type. I think I am the sole buyer of tzatziki in sainsburys, but I hate cucumber.

11) I have to leave the room if Kevin Bacon comes on the TV. I can’t handle him. The same with Diana Vickers off the Xfactor. She sounds like a peacock.

12) I have, what my friends like to call, Something About Mary hair. I don’t let people see me in the morning without warning them, as that could frighten the hardest of bastards. If you haven’t seen it, you’re lucky, it’s a cross between a cockatoo and Ronald Macdonald. Its special 🙂

13) I’m slightly obsessed with tattoos. I think they’re amazingly beautiful, and absolutely love them. If I wasn’t such a wimp I would be covered in them. But I can’t take pain.