Tag Archives: gym

Lost in Translation

19 Mar

Going past the obvious physical things, there are some massive differences between boys and girls, a point that has become glaringly obvious since I moved in with one. Things like emptying the bins, “I didn’t notice they were full!” and hoovering “I like my feet black!” were expected, but there are some things that we see from totally different stand points.

Take last night for example.

Last night, I finally dragged my sorry ass to the gym, and not only did I do the most high intensity zumba class, which turned out not to be zumba but an eclectic blend of salsa, reggaeton and bowka, I also did 15 minutes on the stepper as I was there a bit early.


I was really proud of myself, despite the fact that I had to consume a banana and half a bag of sweets on the way home due to slightly low blood sugar (ill learn the balance eventually of insulin, working out and food intake) but I was pleased all the same.

I trekked home, getting weird looks from fellow tube passengers (I have something to admit, five minutes after exercise has finished, I go puce and remain that way for a good hour. It’s my thang) and my boyfriend had done something really sweet. Something he thought I would really appreciate. He had got me a “well done for going to the gym treat”.

Just to add some background to this, I have given cheese up for lent. It’s my biggest vice, and I love ever cheese imaginable. I don’t drink a lot and wanted to test my willpower for the lent period, so cheese it was. And Lord, it’s been the hardest thing. But so far I have been cheese free since Pancake Day, and I have a month to go. A month of pure hell. Especially as I gave up cheese for January too, in a bid to make my tummy look less like cottage cheese.


So my treat was……… a cheese board! I was a little taken aback. Why would it be a good idea to reward me with the same amount of calories I had just leaked in sweat, half way through a massive test of my willpower? And why does anyone need a reward for their first gym session? Well done for not being lazy for the first time in your life! I didn’t get the logic. He didn’t get my logic.

When I asked my girl housemate what she thought, her response was “I did have to bite my tongue when he got home with it”.

I totally appreciated the sentiment of the reward, I just thought it a weird one. Diamonds would have done just fine.

Have you ever been in a situation where you have done something / someone else has done something for you that has been totally misinterpreted?

Required: Motivation

26 Jan

I’ve never been one of those girls that knows about calories. Or, for that matter, cares about calories. The most health conscious I have ever been is being able to hold a straight face when insisting that orange flavoured chocolate is one of your five a day, and that if you eat loads on a plane it doesn’t count because you are in the air.


So I was slightly horrified when my clothes started to feel a little tight at the seams, and I started to look a little, well, doughy. WTF? I’ve always eaten what I liked and the only exercise I can admit to regularly doing is walking (at speed) to the fridge. It dawned on me. I will be 30 soon. Is this what my cousins forebode when they tried to tell me that when you hit 30 you can’t metabolise one brie a day? Good Lord, it could all be coming true.


Don’t get me wrong, I had achieved my goal of eating nearly an entire cheeseboard each day between Christmas and New Year, and I had bloody enjoyed it. It’s not like I am disillusioned as to why calories are sticking to me like I am the worlds biggest magnet, when all I’ve been eating is dust. 🙂

Teamed with the fact that my sister is on a health kick and my best friend has deemed her back too fat to fit in a bridesmaids dress in the summer, I realised I had to get my shit together.

In my opinion, the people who insist exercise is fun, being sweaty is achieving something and salad is delicious, are on crack. But I’ve embraced it – I’ve been swimming, am doing exercise videos and eating like a rabbit for the past few weeks. Wine has become the enemy (but I looooooooooove you) and there is an ultimate ban on cheese, which in my opinion, is like losing a limb.


Its working.

However, the one thing that I really cannot stand, is the one thing that so many gym bunnies swear by.

The 30 Day Shred. People say that Jillian is motivational, and her shouting spurs you on. She often screams “if 400 pound people can do a jumping jack, you can too!!!!” But I am stubborn. She makes me want to face plant a carton of ice cream and chase it down with maple syrup. Which wouldn’t be a pretty sight for anyone.


So I’m adopting the Laura attitude to being a skinny Minnie – if occasionally I do eat a loaf of bread / a block of cheese /anything Jillian would disapprove of, at least ‘not eating it every day. In your face, America’s Biggest Shouter.

I’m sticking to Zumba and trying not to laugh in Yoga. That’s my jam.

What do you do to keep healthy? Any recipes that may save me from my personal salad hell?