How EMBARRASSING

28 Jun

As humans, we are very different. No person is the same and every individual has quirks and traits that differentiate them from the next person in the queue in the supermarket or the lane at the pool. Height, weight, race, nationality – no two humans are from the same mould.

But we have one thing in common. We all do things that we don’t want other people to know.

Saying that you have plans, when your plans are to actively do nothing.

I actually do this an awful lot. I factor in a couple of nights in the week when I ‘have plans’ so that I can’t be booked up. I know that it makes me look unavailable and is annoying to the people I am trying to organise stuff with, but the idea of my date with a cup of tea, my bubble bath and a load of candles is a pull too strong to resist. It’s the flame, and I’m the moth that is inevitable going to get scalded.

Finishing family packs of junk food in a single sitting.

Yeah – hands up. I do this one. I have every intention of being the sort of grown up individual that can have a packet of chips in the cupboard and just have a few every now and then, but I ate my self control at the same time as the family pack of Haribo, and I just get carried away.

Image

My housemate and I are unable to have any form of biscuits in the house since the time we tag teamed a packed of 48 custard creams in record time, and now the biscuit aisle is banned on the weekly shop, due to bad things happening.

Intending to do productive activities. Finding youself still sitting on the sofa 3 hours later, on YouTube.

Videos of kittens doing funny stuff. Animals singing. The sloth meltdown on Ellen. All these things have historically gotten in the way of me sorting out my life / tidying the flat / cleaning out the fridge / listing stuff on eBay – all the productive things I think I will do at the weekend are often forgotten by “ill just watch this one YouTube video of a goat bleating along to Taylor Swift” and the night is lost.

Abandoning social rules and grammatical correctness for a conversation with your best friend.

I swear me and my best friend have a totally different language, and 30% of the words are completely made up and date back to the days of being 13, hormonal and ABSOLUTELY having to communicate without people being able to understand. It also confuses new people to the fold that after 25 years we have adapted a fairly skilled method of being able to converse without words. Choice eye movements, head nods and general sixth senses mean that sometimes outsiders miss a good chunk of conversations and leave feeling horribly confused.Image

Daydreaming about my pjamas

Some days, when being a grown up and getting shit done gets too much for me, I go off to a special place in my head. Sure, I might be sitting at my desk bashing out emails to people, but in my head I am in a land of duvets and pillows. I dream of running (in slow mo, like the films) to the front door of my flat, finding the lock with my key and being reunited with my jammies. There is no feeling like bumming around the house with the front door locked, shutting the world out.

What do you do that you don’t like to admit? Be brave!

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11 Responses to “How EMBARRASSING”

  1. susielindau June 28, 2013 at 3:50 pm #

    I speak in “shorthand” with my sister. I have tried for 25 years to teach my husband, but he has never mastered the language! 🙂

    • tinkerbelle86 July 21, 2013 at 3:39 pm #

      My sister and I do the same and apparently there are big chunks of conversation we seem to have in our heads 🙂

  2. prenin June 28, 2013 at 7:23 pm #

    I’m supposed to be on a diet, but I keep taking breaks for fine ale, sweets and biscuits! 😛

    I left it too soon between binges and put on a full Kilo! 😦

    Still: Give me a couple of weeks on my BORING diet and I’ll lose it again! 🙂

    My current target weight is 98Kg, but I’m still hovering around 105Kg… 😦

    Love and squishy hugs!

    Prenin

  3. The Byronic Man June 28, 2013 at 7:58 pm #

    First off, having recently had a baby – they are God’s gift to getting out of things. “This Friday? Ooh, love to. Can’t. Baby.” “No, your dinner party is a blast, but the baby’s getting fussy/babysitter can’t stay any longer.”

    Second, when people call, and don’t say anything fast enough, I hang up – in case they’re phone solicitors. Then when they call back, I act like I don’t know what happened. Bad connection, maybe? Is their phone on the fritz?

  4. philosophermouseofthehedge June 28, 2013 at 11:03 pm #

    Used to always wait to call my out of state boss from my cell phone in a hilly area where I knew the cell service was bad….able to keep the calls short that way…my CA counterpoint used to crumple cellophane paper up by the phone and tell him there was too much interference and she couldn’t hear him. He drove us crazy. (but I never said that)

  5. Redneckprincess June 29, 2013 at 5:39 pm #

    Chocolate. I don’t share. I have a stash no one knows about.

  6. lovelylici1986 July 2, 2013 at 7:50 pm #

    I always whip through the “family size” M&Ms. I put that in quotation marks because I think they’re lying. It’s definitely for a family of one.
    YouTube sucks me in with music. The sidebar. The danged SIDEBAR. It is just SO good. It knows me SO well. I.can’t.stop. HELP! No. Don’t help me. I love it.

  7. Simple Northern Life July 3, 2013 at 1:39 pm #

    Okay I admit it I am addicted to social networks hence FB , Pinterest and WordPress. Especially when I am supposed to be spending time with family. Gotta work on it! Thanks for being so honest, I am truly grateful. Allie

  8. joeyfullystated July 7, 2013 at 9:08 pm #

    When I’m very familiar with someone, I don’t look/sound remotely intelligent at all.
    Totally relate to this post.

  9. kamkencreative July 23, 2013 at 3:49 pm #

    Okay… When I really crave something in particular, I’ll leave the house in my pajamas and totally ignore the way people are staring at me in the store. I know that I look crazy, buuut it is what it is!

  10. Mark Armstrong August 17, 2013 at 4:13 pm #

    Well, I… (lowers voice) enjoyed reading this blog post, but, um– don’t tell anyone!! : )

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