According To The BMI Chart………. I’m Too Short

15 Apr

Whether tall or short, skinny or fat, male or female, every human being has one horrible thing in common.

The gym.

Its affected all of us in some way, at one point or another. Those rushed mornings where you thought that your exercise regime would get the kick it needed if you just ran before work, or the sweaty evenings that you wanted to veg out in front of the TV but someone made you go for a run with them… we can all relate.

There are a few different categories that all of us fall into:

The “I Must Go To The Gym To Enjoy Life”-rs

You know these ones. They’re the men who wear teeny tiny Speedos in the pool, always wear Lycra or t shirts that are 3 sizes too small for them with an enhanced deep V and always have shaved backs. If you don’t shave your back dude, you aren’t in the gang. The female of the species have ponytails long enough to whip you with if you get too close to them in aerobics, always have a water bottle that matches their bra (WHO DOES THAT?!) and wear lip gloss. In the showers.

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Always on show, their defining feature is that although they put everyone to shame in the canteen by eating “only fish and vegetables” they love cake in the privacy of their own home and drink their weekly calorie intake in gin and tonics at the weekend. We’re onto you, skinny minnies.

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Gym bunny. Awwww

The “I Took Out A Membership, Goddamit”-ters

Its OK people, I’ve got this one. I used to go to the gym religiously, 5 days a week. If I couldn’t make it n the evening I would go at lunch and run for half an hour, returning to my desk with the complexion of a tomato / human hybrid, and I felt really good about myself. I think I was on crack.

ImageOne day I didn’t go, and this day turned into a week, and a month, and before I knew it I had diligently been paying my gym membership for 6 months and could count on one hand the 3 times I swam, and twice I used the shower when our hot water tank was broken at the flat. The most expensive swim and hairwash I will ever have. But I felt safe in the knowledge that if I wanted to go to work out, I could.

I also own a pair of yoga pants that although are sometimes used for yoga, more often serve the purpose of its too early for pj’s but I must take these jeans off. And we are in love.

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Perfect gym dodging excuse.

The “The Gym is So Shameful, I Hate It Here”s

These guys and girls always wear massive grey marl t shirts and cycling shorts, and want to be working out even less that I do. Someone told them that they had to go, or they have booked a holiday where they know they might have to put on a bikini, and they want to tone up, work out and feel better. Good for them! But the gym is a loveless place, and the constant worry of bumping into someone they know / breaking something / getting horrendous sweat patches puts them off so much that they look like a puppy that’s been kicked.

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The “I’m A Newbie Exercise Class”ers

Yeah, I fall into this category too. I’m the one in a class that I have done a million times that always dances the wrong way, or (and this has happened) roundhouse kicks left when I am supposed to be roundhouse kicking right in a combat class, only for my foot to make contact with some guys face. I’m also the one that gets the giggles in yoga and has to leave for fear of throwing up in spinning. Don’t get me started.

The “I’m Here So I’m Getting My Moneys Worth”ers

You can spot these guys a mile off. They are often seen chatting to the people working on the front desk, asking too many questions in classes and calling out to the instructors by name. they have paid their monthly fee and are determined to participate in all the classes, moaning about how they don’t like this one as it puts their back out.

Which category do you fall into? Are there any more?

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10 Responses to “According To The BMI Chart………. I’m Too Short”

  1. prenin April 16, 2013 at 12:23 am #

    I’m on a diet and I have bad joints so exercise isn’t on the cards, although I can now walk further before I get sore! 🙂

    Thanks for the visit and comment!!! 🙂

    Austin is my Nephew, not cousin, and was well on his way to becoming an Olympic diver before he badly broke his arm and he is a very smart young man with a brilliant mind! 🙂

    I can’t wait to see how he turns out!!! 🙂

    Love and hugs!

    Prenin.

  2. jessiebearwhat April 16, 2013 at 2:43 am #

    Lol I think I fall into the “I Took Out A Membership, Goddamit”-ters haha.

  3. twindaddy April 16, 2013 at 3:08 pm #

    I’m in the “I can’t afford a gym membership” category.

  4. Brittany April 16, 2013 at 5:11 pm #

    I loveee my gym, but it’s a little pricey so I definitely try to get my moneys worth by going to A LOT of classes haha. I go to at least 10 classes a week on average.

  5. Pas Dee April 16, 2013 at 11:50 pm #

    Thanks so much for liking a post on my blog. Returning the ❤ Find your blog interesting and love what you share 🙂

  6. setinmotion April 17, 2013 at 5:04 am #

    I’m in the ‘everyone else is doing it, I guess I’m meant to as well”. Oh peer pressure had me for a year (until I moved and thus was forced to end my membership and never, ever get another one). I didn’t feel the need to lose any weight, I’m not a big fan of exercise, particularly repetitive exercise that is so mind-numbingly boring that also takes a 30 minute commute to get to, but all my friends exercise by going to the gym I thought I’d look back if I didn’t also do the same.

    Like I said, it didn’t last.

  7. Chicago-Style Girl April 21, 2013 at 3:58 pm #

    This post is hilarious! I personally hate the gym. Once I learned this about myself, I now do a home version of your categories. My workout DVD subscription kept coming even though I didn’t use it. I’m just now getting back on track.

    • tinkerbelle86 May 16, 2013 at 12:02 pm #

      I have an urban workout dvd. sometimes i watch it and consider doing it….

  8. Thaanielicious June 9, 2013 at 2:23 pm #

    Hilarious! I enjoyed your posts. 😀

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