Search and You Shall Find

13 Oct

I regularly skim through blog stats to see how people are finding my blog, and every now and again my eye rests on a particularly weird one. Sure, I talk about a lot of random things, but I am always slightly surprised by how the search engines direct people to me, as a resource to find out the answers to those really important, burning questions. Some are obvious, when people Google “pictures of big hairy spiders” I can understand why one of my posts on the ongoing battle between me and them comes up, as I regularly provide you with photographic evidence to ensure that you understand the severity of my situations (!) but some of them go from the sublime to the ridiculous!

So, to do my bit for the greater good, I’ll see what I can do to help out some of these people who may be lost, like a random generating agony aunt. I’m good like that. All donations of cake by way of thanks can be sent direct 🙂

1)      I just feel misunderstood by my hairy armpits.
Come on now Google. I may have ranted on the odd occasion about the stench of armpits on public transport, and even documented a programme about hairy armpits, but I can’t say that I am openly supportive on this issue. If you have somehow got here and feel misunderstood about your hairy armpits, then I am sorry. We don’t judge here, but you probably haven’t found a kindred spirit either.

2)      Evil chinchilla
A common concern amongst the masses. Is your chinchilla evil? Might it eat your brains when you are sleeping? I don’t have any scientific proof to back this up, but what I would say is their beady eyes make me feel like they are a bit shifty, and I wouldn’t trust them.

3)      How to make a bee
Get some honey, add water, stir. That’s right, surely?

4)      Humping for shoes
Disclaimer: Humping for shoes (hahahah) is not condoned. Reminds me of that programme called ‘Sex, Lies and Rinsing Guys’.

5)      Boob emoticon
I have boobs. I hate emoticons. Not sure how one and one got put together and directed my way, but I don’t have anything to offer this one. Although, on one day this week I couldn’t work out why I was uncomfortable. I went through the day, had lunch, went for dinner… it wasn’t till I got into the shower and struggled to get my bra off that in my tiredness that morning (in my defence, it WAS dark) I had somehow managed to put on my bra inside out, and do it up. Oh yeah, and wear it like that the whole day. What hope is there for me?

6)      Fat girls being swooped by birds
No words.

7)      And the best one … “Hubble hubble toil and trouble, I live inside my happy bubble”

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10 Responses to “Search and You Shall Find”

  1. topiclessbar October 13, 2012 at 2:44 pm #

    Fat girls being swooped by birds needs to be a sitcom or a horror movie or something. Apparently the public is interested in it, at least.

    • tinkerbelle86 October 15, 2012 at 6:57 pm #

      Sounds like the next talk show topic… “tomorrow, on Jeremy Kyle… fat girls getting swooped by birds…”

  2. artzent October 13, 2012 at 3:04 pm #

    Some that I get leave me laughing just like this post but at least they are good for that!

  3. misswhiplash/Patrecia October 13, 2012 at 3:15 pm #

    you got some weird ones there but you have given very good reasons….Funny woman wearing bra inside out….no wonder it felt strange… Houdini of the bra in that you managed to get it done up.
    I have never taken much notice of how people get to my blog, maybe I should start looking

  4. prenin October 13, 2012 at 5:11 pm #

    The main reason why I block search engines!!! 🙂

    Love and hugs Tinks! 🙂

    Prenin.

    • Dienna October 14, 2012 at 12:30 am #

      “The main reason why I block search engines!!!”

      I do the same. There are too many weird people on the Internet.

  5. Redneckprincess October 13, 2012 at 11:38 pm #

    Hahahaha….

    6) Fat girls being swooped by birds
    No words.

    Seriously…how does one come up with something like that? Made me freaking laugh anyway 🙂

    • tinkerbelle86 October 15, 2012 at 7:03 pm #

      I know, right?! I’m almost tempted to Google it and see what else comes up, but then I remember that you can’t unsee things…

  6. twindaddy October 16, 2012 at 1:34 pm #

    Google is hilarious.

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