Boys have crushes on girls (well a lot of boys anyway). We can be as confident on this as the sun coming up in the morning and setting in the evening, as sure as we are that cake tastes better that celery and that if it’s going to rain, I will get caught in it. They tend to be super stereotypical, your Rihannas and Kim Kardashians; the ones whose skirt hem sits higher than their ankles and aren’t adverse to the slight boob flash. You know the ones I mean. Before any hard done by men start piping up, I’m totally generalising, and this isn’t the point anyway.
The girl crush is a far stronger phenomenon, and this is what I want to talk about. It takes a different form to your standard crush, and is far more intense. Sure, I love Ryan Reynolds and often spend
hours minutes on end twiddling my hair and conceiving intricate plans on how to engineer a wedding meeting, but the girl crush is far more developed. And who is my girl crush?
I absolutely adore her.
I can’t think of a single thing she could do that would make me dislike her. I’ve been through scenarios in my head of her accidentally signing up to be in a spinoff of Burlesque (horrific), if she announced that she was to marry Kevin Bacon (shudder) or if she decided to do a Britney and shave her head. None of these things would make me like her any less.
Its deep, man.
The girl crush is far more intense than your normal boy likes girl, boy asks girl out, boy and girl live happily ever after routine. Why? Because you don’t want the subject to be your girlfriend, but worse, you want them to be your BFF, cross your heart and hope to die. You want them to be your go to girl for lunch dates, shoe shopping trips and chocolate binges, and for them to never be far enough away from their iPhone for you to freak out about anything. Outfit disaster? On hand for soothing words to calm you. Boyfriend problems? Turns up with tequila and a dartboard with his face on it. Sitting in the beer garden with sunglasses on and looking at boys? She’s right by your side.
In reality, many of us masquerade as sane members of the public, concealing a secret girl crush. For the purpose of this post I asked some of my closest friends their girl crushes, and more to the point, why. There is no rationality in these responses, which further mystifies the phenomenon.
Friend 1: Blake Lively “I just love her hair”.
Friend 2: Rita Ora: “She’s just cool. And she hangs out with Jay Z. She could hook me up”.
Friend 3: Poppy Delevingne “She has the prettiest face and the loveliest hair”.
Friend 4: Jennifer Garner “Brilliant eyebrows and lovely shiny hair”.
So why Emma Stone, I hear you cry? Why the fuck not?! (sorry Mum) She is totally super awesome, and despite the fact that she plays characters in films (I haven’t totally lost my grasp on reality) in interviews she comes across just as sarcastic and quick-witted. She’s been in some of my favourite films (Easy A, Drive, Crazy Stupid Love) and just has this down to earth awesomeness that would make a perfect addition to my drinking crew. You know us – we’re the ones in the bar that can’t stop giggling and don’t really care who’s listening. We’ll say hi, we are slightly cheeky, a bit crude, and buckets of fun.
Oh sod it, I just want to be her.
Who do you love, and why?