Of Love and Louboutins

14 Jun

I’m starting to come to the conclusion that life revolves around shoes. Everywhere I go I see perfect examples in glorious symmetry; a perfect pair of jaw dropping stilettos with a neon trim or a cute couple of flip flops covered in sparkles. The outcome is always the same, they always ruin my feet.

But without shoes, Cinderella would never had met Prince Charming, Carrie Bradshaw would have had half the fun whizzing around Manhattan if it wasn’t for her Manolos and I would have trodden on a whole heap more glass in dodgy establishments up and down the country. But my poor little feet, responsible for carrying the weight of my world (as well as food shopping, the girlies when fast asleep to the car and heavy boxes when moving) are often unloved and sore. And it’s all to do with shoes.

I long to be the kind of girl who can walk for miles in skyscraper heels and not bat an eyelid, rather than the kind of girl who always packs a pair of flip flops on a night out due to ALWAYS having sore feet and regularly getting told to hush when whinging about them when moving from bar to bar. I would love to be the girl who can wear wedges to the office without one flipping off at the back, or stacking it down the stairs into the path of a delivery man, because I can assure you ladies, I’m not falling at the feet of the man of my dreams, but more falling into the lap of a smelly man with a moustache like Super Mario and a lack of knowledge about the vast range of deodorants on the market.

It doesn’t help that I am surrounded by a whole host of shoe appreciators. My female friends have extensive ranges of beautiful shoes and often email me montages of screen grabs from expensive shoe websites that I cannot afford, titled “Fantastic Shoe Sale!” or “Which Should I Choose?” while male friends avoid nights out to stay at home and buff their trainers. I know one guy who owns 132 pairs of trainers, and that’s trainers alone. I’m from the school of thought that if they are going to make my feet hurt anyway, I may as well buy a cheap pair and look at them in my cupboard, rather than buying an expensive pair, doing the above, but not being able to fill the cupboards with food that week either. It’s a double whammy, like life saying to me “Sucks to be you! You cant walk in these shoes! And you’ll also be hungry when looking at them!” might as well be able to buy a consolation packed of Jaffa Cakes and destroy them, right?

So my aim is to learn to walk in shoes. Like the legs of a baby giraffe, ill start wobbly but as I work on my poor, poor feet they will strengthen until I can sail down the stairs while maintaining an air of poise and grace.

The swap is that I might have calloused feet like a grannie, but it’s a price I may or may not be I am willing to pay. It’s a work in progress.

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16 Responses to “Of Love and Louboutins”

  1. misswhiplash June 14, 2012 at 4:16 pm #

    Ah..Mrs Tinkerbelle..those were the days..the days of wearing stillettos which were tall and thin, shoes with peep toes that necessitated painting the toenails. Then came platforms..huge great things that made me at least 6″ taller. As far as I can remember I never had aching feet.
    Over the years I have come to realise that my feet are the only ones that I am ever going to have. There are no replacements..therefore I should abandon “fashion” shoes and wear nice sensible shoes, no heels, no peeps ..just shoes.
    At aged 73 I don’t think my legs or my feet could carry anymore than the weight of my body and I can assure you ..that is plentiful….. But you are young ..make the most of it but do not ruin your feet

  2. goddessofglitter June 14, 2012 at 4:27 pm #

    I too have never been a shoe girl, and I envy the Carrie Bradshaws of the world. I always find myself in awe of the masterpieces that decorate the shoe department and the women who can wear them. Good luck with your shoe training!

  3. twindaddy June 14, 2012 at 4:33 pm #

    “I’m starting to come to the conclusion that life revolves around shoes. ”

    Geez, no wonder my life is so backward. Had I known this I would’ve done things quite differently.

  4. Love & Lunchmeat June 14, 2012 at 4:55 pm #

    Sofft shoes are the greatest shoes known to womankind. (Google them. You’ll thank me later.) Second place goes to Born. I used to feel the same way and only buy really inexpensive shoes. Then I developed plantar fascitis and the cheap shoes didn’t have enough arch support. For about a year, I wore either tennis shoes or Birkenstocks. Ugh, but then I discovered Sofft shoes, and the birds began to sing again… They’re so cute, and they don’t cause pain. You won’t need the flip flops. Also, really great shoes eventually lead to world peace. I’m not sure exactly how this chain of events works, but that’s what I tell myself… 🙂

  5. Go Jules Go June 14, 2012 at 5:23 pm #

    132 pairs of trainers?! I don’t get it. I like a cute pair of shoes, but if they give me blisters, they’re out! Also, I go to ‘brand names for less’ type stores, because I wear heels out in a MINUTE. I do like wearing heels, but I don’t go TOO tall. (Plus I’m already 5’8″ to begin with!)

    “…with a moustache like Super Mario and a lack of knowledge about the vast range of deodorants on the market” — the cracked me up!

    Best of luck to you, my friend. I hope there’s not a lot of healing involved in your heeling 😉

  6. Tori Nelson June 14, 2012 at 5:24 pm #

    Oh, the sparkly shoe dream is something I struggle with. Daily, I see gorgeous heels I’d love to wear. Unfortunately, I’ve got your “baby giraffe legs” and am a whopping 6 feet tall. There’s something terrifying about a giant stiletto-ed woman lurching through the streets.

  7. theforgottenwife June 14, 2012 at 5:36 pm #

    I love, love, LOVE shoes. I have been known to forego a dinner or two to purchase a really cute pair of shoes. Yes, my feet hurt at the end of the day, but I look damn good! However, I have decided that I only want to pull out the hurty shoes for special events. You know the ones, where you need to look hot walking into and out of a place, but the rest of the evening you are sitting at a table where the table cloth doubles as a blanket and I can slip out of them and tuck my feet up under me. But when I come in, traffic stops and compliments me!!!

  8. bellesogni June 14, 2012 at 7:57 pm #

    Well, let’s see… I have two sisters who needed bunion surgery for ugly joint growth from cramming their feet in high heels and pointed toes for years, a very short sister-in-law who has lived in spikes her who life and as a result, has the ugliest deformed calf muscles you’ve ever seen and a mother who crammed her size 8 into size 6 with bunion surgery and hammer toes and a crippled walk.

    No thanks.

    I admit, I love the look of high heels and we are all taught they are sexy. If I ever yield to the urge to buy a pair instead of food for a week, I’ll put them and admire them with my legs up in the recliner, but walk in them? Nah.

  9. prenin June 14, 2012 at 7:59 pm #

    Stick to low heels and comfortable shoes – no sense in spending your life as a cripple!!! 🙂

    Besides – you’re beautiful enough without spending on instruments of torture… 😉

    Love and hugs my sweet friend!

    Prenin.

  10. thesilentsoul June 14, 2012 at 8:21 pm #

    I’d love to be that girl too!

  11. TM June 14, 2012 at 8:25 pm #

    I looooooooove shoes. I was the lady that wore heels during my pregnancy, even wide them to the hospital when I went in labor. Since life and job changes my beautiful, cute stillettos, kitten heels, peep toes spend a good portion on their time in boxes in the closet.
    I call my most kick ass shoes my armor. I like to wear them when I feel insecure or am going into a situation where I need a smidge of confidence. They make me feel, well, more confident.
    Good luck with!

  12. susielindau June 15, 2012 at 3:26 am #

    I am done with really high heels. They ruined my feet long ago. I am happy to run around barefoot when I am home, throw on some sandals or low healed slides when I go out!
    Love the dog photo with the pumpkin! Hilarious!

  13. Pierotucci June 15, 2012 at 3:59 pm #

    I like heels because they make me feel sexy but sometimes the styles out there are made for looking sexy but only when you are sitting down because walking in them would be impossible!
    Great color contrast with the pink heel.

    I invite you stop by and check out new collection http://www.pierotucci.com/accessories/intrecciata_woven_leather/

  14. dailyamusebouche June 16, 2012 at 1:39 pm #

    “The outcome is always the same, they always ruin my feet.”

    Hahahah story of my life!!

  15. chembelle June 21, 2012 at 11:10 pm #

    Interesting! I haven’t really thought of shoes to be anything life-changing, like you have crafted in your write-up. I guess I am not a shoe gal….If it ain’t comfy, it ain’t in my closet!

  16. Marvin the Martian June 27, 2012 at 5:41 am #

    Don’t kill your feet… wear what’s comfy. No one is looking at your feet anyway.

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