Monday Musing – Bride Without Groom

14 May

It’s that time of year again, when the shops adorn their windows with pretty dresses and the talk of the town is what weddings will be attended this summer, and how many outfits need buying. One of the girls at work regaled a mortified story this week about attending her first wedding of the year and showing up in the same dress as three other girls, and then having to pose with the bride as if they were bridesmaids. Not funny if you’re one of the ones in the matching dresses.

thats normal. She has a groom!

Bubbly brides is one thing and I can handle some excited squealing and planning of wedding  days, after all, raucous hen dos are fun and it’s an excuse to go shopping and buy something fancy, not to mention toasting the happy couple with copious amounts of champagne and dancing the night away to cheesy eighties tunes which I do all the time makes a change.

What concerns me however is the emerging trend of BWG’s. Boooo… I hear some of you hiss. Not me, I didn’t have a bloody clue what this meant, so had to research it. Apparently it means ‘Bride Without Groom’ and is an exploding new phenomenon of women who have planned their whole weddings, regardless of whether they have a boyfriend, or perhaps, and in my opinion, slightly more scarily, if they have one but they are not engaged… yet (OR NEVER IF YOU CARRY ON LIKE THAT!!).

We all know I love a good lever arch file and anything involving a post it is like heaven to me, but the idea of having a hidden box file marked “important papers” which is actually stuffed full of venues and seating plans makes me feel a bit nervous. I would constantly be living on the edge (i need to actually start living on the edge) in fear that it would get found and I would get dumped for being such a closet nutter.

Being a little girl who dresses up as a princess and plays at her wedding day is one thing, but I actually have no recollection of doing this. I used to dress up in my tutu and pretend I was dancing the Royal Ballet, and the only boy I ever considered as a worthy life partner was a boy called Matthew who was the only boy in our ballet troupe. I think he was only considered as he wore a leotard and liked to pirouette too. But being a grown ass woman who has reserved her dress in the wedding store, identified the shape and colour of her bridesmaids dresses by putting together some clever equation cross referencing the size and shape of her friends against their skin tone and hair colour, and been and sampled wedding cake, is something that I find alarming, and quite frankly, ridiculous.

So I Googled it. Obviously. The standard responses came up ‘bride and groom’, ‘bridal services’ but no ‘bride without groom’. I was hoping to find some fantastic scientific research on this as a syndrome and be able to explain it away in a bid to gain some sanity for the female population. Instead I found this ..

I read through the story incredulously, thinking that some of the engaged girls I know ould be amazed at her levels of organisation. Until I got to the part where she had told her friends, and they were standing there in the shot with their bridesmaids dresses.


I have an awesome group of friends. For example, if I announced that I was off to audition for the X Factor they would be encouraging about my outfit, say how nice my hair looked and as I headed for the door they would yell “DON’T TAKE ANOTHER STEP! YOU CAN’T SING YOU MORON!!” and that’s what friends are for. Because I sound like a cat being skinned, and the world should not be allowed to witness that.

So if I was to announce that I have reserved my wedding dress, chosen the bridesmaids dresses and nailed the food, I’m pretty sure that my nearest and dearest friends would give me a verbal smack down, put a bag over my head and lock me in the wardrobe until I came to my senses. Not pose holding the dresses I had picked out for them, looking pleased at the results. I’m not sure what planet these people are on, but it’s definitely not my one.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to book my wedding venue watch the TV.

Do you know anyone who has done this? Do you think it’s as crazy as I do?


10 Responses to “Monday Musing – Bride Without Groom”

  1. Victoria-writes May 14, 2012 at 11:09 am #

    Hehe I’ve heard about this trend too. I’m sure some girls do some harmless fantasising about what their day might be like but this is hilarious and what will their future groom think?! Reminds me of Monica in Friends and her wedding book – it should be reserved for sitcoms only 🙂

  2. becomingcliche May 14, 2012 at 11:48 am #

    I suppose to each her own, but I can’t imagine taking this route. It almost seems that the wedding itself is more important than the groom or the marriage.

  3. prenin May 14, 2012 at 1:16 pm #

    Now THAT’S scary!!! LoL!!!

    If I EVER run into somebody as unhinged as this you’ll not see me for dust!!! 🙂

    Love and hugs!


  4. twindaddy May 14, 2012 at 2:07 pm #

    This is obsessively creepy. If I were not married, and I was dating someone and found out they had done this I’d find the first exit out of that relationship.

  5. susielindau May 14, 2012 at 2:56 pm #

    I think it crosses a line into Looneyville, but I don’t think it is bad to have a dream book like Queen Latifah’s in Last Holiday.

  6. We're Jumpin' May 14, 2012 at 3:51 pm #

    Just wow…
    I am shocked, maybe I live under a rock for too long, but where did the time change that the Groom is not there to give advice, or make ideas for himself.. Isn’t Marriage suppose to be about both the Groom and the Bride? SMH!

  7. John Haslett May 14, 2012 at 5:41 pm #

    And you’ve sucessfully explained to me how “Bridezilla’s” are born. My rule in these cases is make no eye contact and run for the border. LOL

  8. philosophermouseofthehedge May 15, 2012 at 8:12 pm #

    “everyone’s a winner!” So self indulgent and idiotic.

  9. gojulesgo May 16, 2012 at 2:18 pm #

    Ha! It’s totally nuts, I agree. Although, I booked our wedding venue before Le Pep popped the question, LOL I still feel silly about it, but we knew we were going to get married, and the place we wanted was in high demand. We didn’t tell anyone we did it, though! And it definitely didn’t make his awesome proposal (on stage at a show in Vegas) any less of a surprise!

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