Mating Rituals of the 21st Century Homosapien

28 Mar

For centuries, animals have adopted mating rituals to ensure that the species survives, and little baby whatevers populate across the land. Male peacocks have a vibrant plume of feathers to wow the female of the species (who I have heard in some species is more deadly than the male) and some spiders eat their partners after mating, because they are hungry (I don’t think this is actually the reason, but I am not at liberty to give you facts, as I don’t know them).

So anyway, through the centuries, human mating rituals have moved from the male clubbing the female over the head and dragging her back to the cave, to chastity belts and no sex before marriage, asking for her ‘hand’ and courting, to now.

I think its a sliding scale, and today I found myself at the bottom of it.


No.... I didn't get humped by a teeny dog, but when Googling for an image I was returned a pic of Hugh Grant... hahah!

There were two incidents, one on the way to work, and one on the way home. On my walk to the tube station, a man walked past me. He sucked his teeth (eew) make some puckery noise and said “hi babygirl, you want?” apparently I “eeeew”-ed so loudly that the man walking behind me laughed. Then on the way home another guy walked up to me, pointed at him then pointed at me, and when I carried on walking looked disappointed.

What is wrong with people? It reminded me of the days when boys in the town i used to live in would do loops round the one way system in what could only have been their mother’s car, playing their music really loudly and hollering at girls. It always used to make my mind boggle. What did they think they would achieve from this? Did they expect the girl that the had yelled at to be waiting on their next lap, overcome with emotion at such a display? I think not.

I’m not sure how we got to the stage of bum pinching and teeth sucking, but bum pinchers should take heed of this, commit your bum pinchery in Singapore and you risk being flayed. Which, in my opinion, should be a worldwide thing.

Whats the silliest chat up line you have ever heard?



16 Responses to “Mating Rituals of the 21st Century Homosapien”

  1. Gary Lum March 28, 2012 at 7:07 pm #

    That is just bizarre behaviour. So bold yet so rude.

  2. prenin March 28, 2012 at 7:11 pm #

    I like the classic line and answer! 🙂

    “How do you like your eggs?” Says boy just started shaving.

    “Unfertilised – F*** Off!” Came the girl’s reply! 🙂

    Love and hugs!


  3. bdewayne March 28, 2012 at 8:03 pm #

    Not being female I have no lines to share;however I must say I am amazed that the world still has so many idiotic Cro -Magnons living among us.I just thought that it was my generation that was the worse ( not most but the loudest few ) and I figured they were all retired or dead.I find it incredible that young men are still so boorish.On behalf of all men I apologize for the sleezy males.I agree caning is under utilized.

  4. visitingmissouri March 28, 2012 at 8:53 pm #

    That doesn’t work in Britain? When I’m walking on the streets here, I have to be careful not to whistle a song that’s stuck in my head, because I’ll have to kick the women off of me. True story.

    • monika April 1, 2012 at 12:21 pm #

      That’s because you have an accent. Unfair advantage.

  5. elroyjones March 28, 2012 at 10:37 pm #

    The funniest thing a guy ever did to hit on me was begin calling to me as I got closer to him on the sidewalk, “Where you been? I been waitin’ all my LIFE for you to get here, or at least the last 3 hours.” I just smiled and kept walking.

  6. gojulesgo March 29, 2012 at 12:01 pm #

    Oh, god, the teeth sucking is giving me the heebie-jeebies just thinking about it! That’s great that the guy behind you laughed, though!

    One time I think a guy hollered something like, “Girl, you got it in all the right places!” I guess it could have been worse? And I actually have a favorite. When I was in college, walking to the train station in my parents’ quaint little town, a 12-year-old boy hung his head out the window and just shouted, “You’re pretty!” I suspect he’s doing quite well with the ladies right about now!

    • tinkerbelle86 March 29, 2012 at 12:52 pm #

      you got it in all the right places? thats a compliment, at least he didnt holler that he thought you had it in wrong places. whatever ‘it’ is 🙂 aaahhh… i bet that kid was Justin Bieber….with a Jersey Shoire accent!

  7. 1stpeaksteve March 29, 2012 at 7:27 pm #

    There was once this girl who had an interest in me and I guess she was trying to tell me some stories about her life to sway me over to her side. Well, she began to weave this awful tale of driving in her car when a guy passing in the other lane yelled out the window that she was hot! She said she did a whipping u-turn and followed the guy and pulled him over to get his phone number.

    I was mortified by this story. Well, that one and the story of how she tried to run down her ex-boyfriend with her car after an arguement. Let’s just say we never went out.

  8. Dazzle Rebel March 29, 2012 at 8:36 pm #

    Can’t get over that picture of the cat and dog! That’s made my day, thank you.

  9. malawi4me2 March 30, 2012 at 12:43 am #

    I loved this! So true! Standards have declined so! The most common pickup line I get is (you have to sound this out as I can only write it phonetically), “A baby gurl… Whens we gunna hook up?”. Once, leaving work (at a government building) with my car windows down, two guys (who looked as if they likely were just released from the jail) in the car beside me proceeded to say, “A, youse a sexy lady. Is you a police woman, cuz if you is I don’t wanna be hittin’ on a police woman.” *blink blink* I’m utterly speechless at how uncouth males of our generation are!

  10. Rocket April 1, 2012 at 8:33 am #

    I think one day, I thought I’d cross my eyes after this dude on the street hit on me…oh the look on his face!

  11. merlinblogss April 2, 2012 at 11:16 am #

    hi there i have nominated you for the sunshine award 😀 Lets see how much sunshine we got here 😉

  12. Marvin the Martian April 19, 2012 at 4:01 am #

    If I were female, I would convince myself that I was a lesbian, because male behavior is usually atrocious. I’ve heard many pickup lines from women, but only a few were outrageous. Most of them were quite subtle. Too subtle for me, though… I usually didn’t notice them until after the fact.

  13. creativeboys April 24, 2012 at 2:16 pm #

    I have no idea with chatlines, i guess the best is to be yourself and natural 😉

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