In The Words Of Pat Benetar… Love Is A Battlefield

30 Jan

With the end of the month fast approaching, minds turn to Valentine’s Day. What a minefield! One of the guys in the office calls it Singles Awareness Day, and I tend to see where he is coming from. The cynic in me sees it as a day created by the card companies to extract money from people, as we all say “It’s just another day” but feel bad if we don’t at least buy a card, don’t we?

I think that if you love someone, or indeed are in like with someone, you shouldn’t have to choose one day to say it. Shops and eateries cash in on the fact that people will be making a special effort, and mark their prices up accordingly. Seems a bit unfair really, says the cynic inside me!

Let me tell you about the best Valentine ’s Day I ever had. I was nineteen (a long time ago!) and we didn’t have a penny between us, let alone one each. We had decided that because of this we wouldn’t exchange presents, only go to the supermarket and buy some groceries to make a nice meal together. My housemate was going out for dinner, so we planned to watch a film and have some food due to the lack of money and the fact I had been in hospital the week before and felt terrible, so I didn’t want to be all glamourous and go out.

When I came home it turned out my housemate had given him the key, and he had cooked dinner already. He had also bought some tinted light bulbs and fitted them in my bathroom, where he had run me a bath full of bubbles and petals. When I got out of the bath, he had bought me some new pjs and toy story, and he watched them while I fell asleep. It didn’t cost much, but it was he best Valentine’s I ever had. He had put the thought in rather than heading to the nearest perfume department and letting the girls that worked there choose me something, and it worked.

Guys, if you are going to buy the lady in your life perfume or lingerie, then follow some steps to help you out. Just think of me as your fairy godmother. I accept donations of chocolate oranges and kittens if you are feeling especially charitable.

Kittens? Check. Tea? Check. What's not to love?

Lingerie: a t-shirt bra might seem like a safe option, but us girls buy these out of necessity, not love. Sometimes we need something that doesn’t show through that top that we love, but it doesn’t mean some shapewear will be a well received gift. A rule of thumb is to choose something that will compliment what she wears day to day, so if she likes floral patterns, she’ll probably love a bra like that. Make sure you know here size though; most blokes trip up and cause massive offence by guessing her size. A boyfriend once bought me a top in a size 16. I’m a 10 and I was massively offended. It takes two minutes to shuffle look in her top for the right size, but if you are terrified of her catching you rummaging through her knicker drawer then get her BFF involved. They might not know, but they will be far less suspicious asking her than you will.

Spot the Tshirt Bra!

If you are buying her perfume, don’t just rely on going round on the bottles and smelling them. Sure, you might recognise that scent, but it might be the one your mum wears, and can you imagine the reaction if you bought her the same smell as she dutifully buys and wraps up from you to your mother ever year? Shit sandwich. Have a look through her bathroom cabinet and write down some of the lotions and potions she wears, and then go and ask the ladies in the shop to help you. This will give them an idea of the smells she likes and enable you to pick something unusual.

Whatever you choose for her, wrap it up. My hint would be to make her something as homemade gifts win lots of brownie points from me, but whatever you choose, it’s the details that count. Us girls are a bit of a sucker for a well wrapped present with a bow.

What is the best Valentine’s Day gift you have received? Or the best thing you have done for someone? What will you be doing this Valentine’s, single or a deux?

Related Posts:
Dating Disaster
If Language Be The Fruit Of Love


12 Responses to “In The Words Of Pat Benetar… Love Is A Battlefield”

  1. Juliette January 30, 2012 at 9:14 am #

    I hate valentine’s day. Never had a a valentine’s card. Scrap that, I’ve never been kissed!!! x

  2. mushykitty January 30, 2012 at 9:56 am #

    Pretty helpful! Guys should take a que from this. 🙂
    The best Valentines Day gift ever recieved: A heart pillow from my cousin. Such a sweet kid. He knew no one will giveme something pretty special on that day, so he bought the pillow instead. 🙂 ❤
    Best thing ever done on Vday: I wrote a poem for my crush and sent it anonymously via email. After 2 days I recieved a response thanking me for it and wanted to meet me in person. But I never replied after. 🙂
    What will I do this Vday: Nahh… I don't know.. I'm still Single, hoping to be out with friends our better yet – a date with crush. shhh… hahaha!

  3. prenin January 30, 2012 at 11:30 am #

    My Valentines days are behind me I’m afraid, but I DO have some fond memories and although we drifted apart, none of my g/f’s left as enemies – I just wasn’t what they wanted…

    Love and hugs!


  4. twindaddy January 30, 2012 at 11:48 am #

    Valentine’s Day is a commercial holiday if there ever was one. I, too, am of the thinking that if you love someone you should be telling them everyday. Not just the one day a year that says you should.

  5. alternative eating January 30, 2012 at 12:04 pm #

    Here Valentines day is not a big thing….But since I am married to an American, and a lot of my friends are American I have gotten to see more and more of this tradition. The greatest thing that I ever got was a chocolate heart, I know, it is a very common thing to get. But I had complained that I had never gotten one, and one of my closest friends gave me one:) Not the chocolate, but she actually went out and got me the heart, just because we sat and watched a movie or something, and I said I had never gotten anything like it. 🙂 I mentioned you on my fb page for my blog to day 🙂 🙂 🙂

  6. nelle January 30, 2012 at 4:18 pm #

    Har… buying clothing sizes too big won’t score points. Only cards I’m sending out are to my daughters and grandson, whom I doubt will read it since he is ten, but it shall be his first!

  7. Marvin the Martian January 30, 2012 at 5:37 pm #

    Valentine’s Day is one of those made-up Hallmark holidays. It puts so much artificial pressure on people to say something that should be very easy to say… “I care about you.”
    I’m lucky that my darling wife is allergic to chocolate, and hates it when I buy her flowers because it’s wasteful. She’d rather have me take her on a shopping spree at the thrift store. I am the luckiest alien in the world.

  8. Meg@thelegaltart January 30, 2012 at 9:19 pm #

    What a lovely valentines he gave you! I often make their favourite desert for them. I always buy new lingerie for myself ensures I get a gift no matter what!

  9. Team Oyeniyi January 31, 2012 at 10:51 am #

    Maybe a another night away from the rug rats!!!! Just a thought!!!

  10. Richard Wiseman January 31, 2012 at 4:26 pm #

    My wife and I both take the view that Valentine’s day is a ‘rip off’. After 14 years of marriage she and I know that it’s the million little things we do for each other every year, day after day, that are the best gifts of all and we don’t think that we need a special day to express our love for each other… we do it every day!

    Here is a poem on Valentine’s day and not the usual kind…

    To the girl with a tear in her eye,
    Who heavily sighs,
    Over charms such as these.
    To the boy with his heart on his sleeve,
    Who sadly will leave,
    For a far better love.
    To the lady who lives all alone,
    Whom nobody phones,
    To speak words of love.
    To the man who is never at home,
    His wife all alone,
    With the presents he buys.
    Sold to us all for love so they say,
    And not all we’ll pay,
    Come Valentine’s day
    If we’re still alone.


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