Guest Post ~ The (Easy) Answer to Everything You’ve Ever Wanted to Know About Love

25 Jan

I feel like I have been handing control of my blog out a lot this month, but when posed with the dilemma of having Jules post for me, it was a no brainer. Of course! She is one of my favourite writers ever, a good buddy and a downright funny girl. So please, take a seat, grab a coffee/tea/stiff gin (whatever your tipple!) and read a story that I for one have never heard before, but that made me smile and warmed the darkest corner of my heart. This girl is awesome. I bid you good day.

‘Belle xxx

—————————————

Boy, I get around. Look at me. Here on Tinkerbelle’s FABULOUS blog. (Don’tcha just love her?) I’ll try not to get too comfortable, but this background really goes with my complexion.

It’s ironic that I’ve been getting around the blogging world, because in actuality, I’m married to my one and only boyfriend. And that’s kinda what I want to talk about.

I know a secret.

The answer to the single girl’s big-ticket question:

“How did/do you know (s)he’s THE ONE?”

Let me leave you hanging back up by saying that although my husband, Peppermeister (or as Tinkerbelle calls him, Le Pep), is my one and only, I did have to employ some fierce modern-woman moves to get the ball rolling. I was 21 years old and we’d worked together for almost two years at a school for children with autism in New Jersey (where we both grew up). We were just friends, if that. One lovely day in mid-May of 2003, I hosted a small party for my friends, and Le Pep actually showed up, despite not knowing anyone in my crowd.

I made appetizers while my friends played guitars, and ‘somehow’ managed to down 5 gin and tonics throughout the night. By the time 3am rolled around, Le Pep and my best friend (who was sleeping over) were the only ones left. My friend went to put her pajamas on, and in my gin-induced haze, I was convinced Le Pep was there so late because he was completely smitten with me (…9 years later, and I’m still trying to get him to admit this).

I stretched one arm over the back of the couch lazily, watching him fiddle with his guitar on the stool in front of me.

“Do you think I’m pretty?” I asked flirtatiously.

“Er…” Le Pep replied, avoiding eye contact.

“How would you feel if I did something stupid right now?” I continued boldly, undeterred.

“Er…” Le Pep answered.

I stood up.

“I mean, really stupid.”

I placed my hands on either side of his face and planted one squarely on his lips. I couldn’t believe how right it felt. One crystal clear thought flashed through my muddled mind: This is all gonna work out.

And it did. It was a miracle. I’d been suffering from unrequited love for years, and was convinced I’d never dig myself out of that hole. With that one forward move, I, well, moved forward. Anyone else who had been in the picture faded to dust.

Now when I hear about people struggling with the dating game, all I can think is, It’s not supposed to be hard. When it’s right, it’s easy.

In those first few weeks, you should be walking on a cloud, barely able to eat. Sure, you’re full of nervous energy, because how could it be so easy? But it is.

I stopped writing self-indulgent poetry and started shopping for silly presents. I stopped asking questions like, “What’s wrong with me?” and started asking ones like, “What time did you say you’re coming over?” I stopped crying into my pillow at night and started grinning from ear to ear.

So, are you ready for it? The big answer?

I knew Le Pep was ‘The One’ not because of some cosmic sign or because he constantly tells me I’m pretty (okay, maybe a little bit of that one), and definitely not because I kissed him and immediately wanted to marry him (that didn’t happen), but because I’ve never been able to imagine life without him.

That’s it. It’s that simple.

Have you found The One? How did you know? What’s the hardest part of dating for you?

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43 Responses to “Guest Post ~ The (Easy) Answer to Everything You’ve Ever Wanted to Know About Love”

  1. Victoria-writes January 25, 2012 at 1:33 pm #

    Aw cute, love that story!

    • gojulesgo January 26, 2012 at 12:44 am #

      Thank you so much, Victoria! I love remembering that night. I still can’t believe I was that brazen!

  2. gojulesgo January 25, 2012 at 1:36 pm #

    Woo hoo! Look at me on your blog, Tinkerbelle! I love it!!!

    It was such a treat to be able to tell this story on one of my favvvvvorite blogs (and yes, the first time its seen the blogging light of day). Thank you! 🙂

  3. DanO January 25, 2012 at 1:42 pm #

    That was a very touching and feel good story. Thanks!

    • gojulesgo January 26, 2012 at 12:45 am #

      Thanks so much, Dan! The memory always makes me smile. That is REALLY exactly what I said that night, LOL!

  4. prenin January 25, 2012 at 1:51 pm #

    I fell in love with Hanne my Danish pen friend and we visited each other and were planning our surprise wedding when she died of a massive stroke in her grandmother’s kitchen in Copenhagen.

    There has been nobody since…

    Love and hugs!

    Prenin.

    • gojulesgo January 26, 2012 at 12:46 am #

      I’m so sorry to hear that, prenin. While I use the phrase ‘The One,’ I do believe in finding that person can happen more than once.

  5. bdewayne January 25, 2012 at 2:12 pm #

    You lovely young lady.I am a jaded old man who has been married more times than I care to admit.In my youth I too found “the one” and all the feelings were mutual.However the world seemed to get in the way and it ended;leaving me broken hearted;yet with great memories.Your story brought back some of those memories.Especially the reference to constant grinning;it’s a grin that almost glows;showing everyone that life can be so right,almost magical Thank you.

    • tinkerbelle86 January 25, 2012 at 9:38 pm #

      isnt she just fab?

    • gojulesgo January 26, 2012 at 12:47 am #

      Thanks so much for sharing, and for your kind words bdewayne! I think people who can love as deeply and purely as you have, stand the best chance of finding true love again.

  6. She's a Maineiac January 25, 2012 at 2:23 pm #

    Oh, I loved your story, Jules! You guys were meant to be for sure. Love that picture, very sweet! I have a similar story. 27 years old, too many years of bad dates, crying in my pillow…then we were set up on a blind double date and found out his fave movie was A Christmas Story and I knew right then he was The One. It really was as simple as just ‘knowing’.

    • gojulesgo January 26, 2012 at 12:48 am #

      Thank you, Darla! I would LOVE to hear that full story of yours one day (unless I missed it and it was an older post?)!

  7. The Byronic Man January 25, 2012 at 2:48 pm #

    First off, I got very little sleep and misread it as “I planted one hand on each side of his face, and one hand on his lips” and thought I’d learned something very new, and very interesting about Jules!

    And my “How did I know?” story is pretty long, but the short version is I definitely did.

    • gojulesgo January 26, 2012 at 12:51 am #

      Oh, jeez. I never mentioned the third hand, did I? It really comes in handy (HAND-y!) when I can’t decide whether to reach for the cheese, champagne or remote first. …Actually, that sentence WAS clunky to begin with.

      I got a glimpse with your guest post on Deb’s blog, but I’d love to read more some day!

  8. Tori Nelson January 25, 2012 at 3:12 pm #

    Jules, you crunk, kissing machine! Love this post. I think so many women get caught up in fixing themselves or plotting how and when and who they will get to love them. In reality, it’s not that elaborate or staged. Go with the flow!

    • gojulesgo January 26, 2012 at 12:52 am #

      Tori, your comment made me snort when I was on my lunch break today! You’re so right, and I almost feel bad saying it, because the people who tend to ask (‘how did you know?’) seem to be the ones who are in the HARD relationships.

  9. susielindau January 25, 2012 at 3:31 pm #

    You are so right; it should be easy.

    I just knew. We connected on so may levels and we hardly dated because he lived a 1000 miles away. My kids just laugh when they hear the story!
    We have been married for almost 25 years now!

    • gojulesgo January 26, 2012 at 12:55 am #

      Congratulations, Susie! That is fabulous! And if memory serves, #25 can actually get you something good, and not just paper or linen or some shiz like that. 😉

      Side note – I’d love to read that story!

  10. M January 25, 2012 at 7:12 pm #

    That is SUPER adorable. I am my husband’s one and only girlfriend a thought which often freaks me out that he’ll suddenly decide he’s never experienced anything else how does he know?? Then again if he’s stuck through me through all this crazy he’s probably not going anywhere!

    • gojulesgo January 26, 2012 at 12:57 am #

      Thank you, Marta! I didn’t know that about your hub! I don’t think you have a thing to worry about, because you are a catch and a half. And super hot. And you give great themed presents – that’s another way I won over Peppermeister. 😉

  11. Renee Schuls-Jacobson January 25, 2012 at 8:50 pm #

    Hubby and I were at a restaurant and he asked me what show I liked to watch on TV that I’d never admitted before. (I guess he was asking me to admit a Guilty Pleasure.) I said: “Let’s say it at the same time!”

    And we both said: “Gladiator.”

    And that was it.

    It was a kismet moment.

    • gojulesgo January 26, 2012 at 12:58 am #

      Renee, that’s fantastic! I think all true love starts with sharing a guilty pleasure. Or at least it should. And you did have kind of a ‘cosmic’ moment! Awesome.

  12. pegoleg January 25, 2012 at 9:08 pm #

    Awwwww. This is so sweet! Mr. Pepper is one, lucky dude, and I assume you tell him that at least once a day.

    • gojulesgo January 26, 2012 at 12:59 am #

      Thank you, Peg! I don’t know why you assume such a thing. You should give me more credit.

      I remind him he’s lucky AND late making my dinner. 😉

  13. MJ, Nonstepmom January 26, 2012 at 4:16 pm #

    You nailed it….its not about “who I can tolerate the rest of my life” its “this is who I cannot live without”. Great story!

    • gojulesgo January 27, 2012 at 1:17 am #

      Thank you so much, MJ! I am always so hesitant to give ‘advice,’ so it’s very reassuring to hear that I’m not totally off the mark 🙂

  14. Deborah the Closet Monster January 26, 2012 at 7:25 pm #

    I’ve never been able to imagine life without him.
    Occasionally I get so frustrated I think, “Gah! I wish this would just be over!” Then, just as soon as I think about it, I imagine what it would really be like and don’t really want it anymore. Love this.

    • gojulesgo January 27, 2012 at 2:52 pm #

      Deb, I’m so glad you said that, because that’s EXACLTY how it is, and what I didn’t mention in the post. It’s not that you don’t THINK about it when you get really frustrated (“I could do this thing on my own! I could be single!”), it’s that when you’re truly honest with yourself, the prospect of being without that person becomes too grim to consider.

  15. Rocket January 27, 2012 at 12:39 am #

    This is lovely awesomeness. *sniffle*

    • gojulesgo January 27, 2012 at 1:17 am #

      THANK YOU, Rocket! You rock-it.

  16. The Simple Life of a Country Man's Wife January 27, 2012 at 3:41 pm #

    This is very sweet, and you seem to have the marriage thing down well. It’s nice to have a best friend, as well as a luvaaaa, isn’t it? Great post!

    • gojulesgo January 30, 2012 at 3:14 am #

      Ha! Yes, you’re sure right about that, Country Man’s Wife! If only we were half as adorable as you and your hub 😉

  17. madakanto January 29, 2012 at 1:13 pm #

    “because I’ve never been able to imagine life without him.” I feel exactly the same with my ONE.
    Everything you wrote is so true. For me it was also so easy I couldn´t believe it . I just loved your story ! Thank you for sharing.

    • gojulesgo January 30, 2012 at 3:15 am #

      I’m so happy to hear that, madakanto! And your kind words are making me grin from ear to ear, similar to what I mentioned in the story! 🙂 <— and similar to that, LOL

  18. tinkerbelle86 January 29, 2012 at 2:35 pm #

    Well I can safely say.. thanks Jules for letting us hear your story, and thank you to everyone that took the time to comment. You can follow her on Twitter (@Julie_Davidoski) for funny little one liners. 🙂

    • gojulesgo January 30, 2012 at 3:16 am #

      You know it was MY pleasure, Tinkerbelle! I’m so glad I had something that felt special to share on your very special blog!

  19. bdewayne January 29, 2012 at 3:00 pm #

    gojulesgo I would like to ask your permission to reblog your story on one of my blogs. Namely camusandme.com. Trust me there’s nothing sinister involved. I just think your story should be shared with some of the corn fed folks in the Midwest.

    • gojulesgo January 30, 2012 at 3:17 am #

      I would be very flattered to have you reblog this story, bdewayne! Thank you so much!

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

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