Calendar Wars

21 Dec

The calendar is a modern tool designed to plan our lives, and organise our families. It lets you input social events and schedule engagements so that family life runs smoothly with little disruption.

Or so you think.
I overheard a discussion in the office this week between two of the men folk that I share an office with about plans for the weekend. The point of discussion was the calendar. One was commenting to the other how he couldn’t do something or other because his other half was busy, and although he knew nothing about it, it was legal and binding, as it was ON THE CALENDAR.
Ex-boyfriend and I used to have the same arguments. No, we didn’t have children, but we did have two constantly ravenous kittens that destroyed the house room by room if left alone for more than a few hours. Therefore at the weekends, one person was required to look after them, or at least ensure they were fed so they didn’t bring offerings of wildlife into my clean house. We couldn’t ask the neighbours to pop in and feed them you see, as these two had evil personalities and resorted to pooing on the laminate if they knew that one of us wasn’t going to be back. It was like they felt in the air that their rightful owners were abandoning them, and decided to repay us by defecating on the floor. Luckily we didn’t have carpets I suppose. So inviting someone else around to feed them was like asking them to muck out the horses; something no one will willingly agree to, and that you wouldn’t want to put anyone through anyway. The other issue was that we only had one car (my car) and that was also a bone of contention. If ex-boyfriend wanted to borrow said car, he had to consult the calendar to see if I was doing anything that would mean he would have to get the train. Being trapped in the middle of nowhere was just about bearable if there was food and I had no plans, but if nicking the car for football and leaving me stranded with somewhere to go was afoot, I would not be best pleased.
The rules of the calendar are this:
The calendar has the final word. If plans are not written on the calendar and another person writes plans on the calendar, the latter wins the battle and the former must assume all duties like feeding the cats / babysitting the children etc.
The calendar can be written on as far in advance as the writer likes, and must be consulted before any plans are made.
Any attempts of crossing out an opponent on the calendar game is seen as grave cheating, and is punishable by death (or the cancelling of their plans).
So the calendar becomes the Holy Grail and the law of the land. I know I’ve had the conversation before when planning a weekend away without the ex-boyfriend, where he had informed me he was away, using the car and not able to feed the terror squad and I responded “is it on the calendar?” in that really irritating voice, knowing full well that my plans were not on the calendar and having to rush home to update it and therefore win the calendar name.


Do you have calendar war in your house?

For the Tenth Day of Christmas my true love gave to me: Ten Lords a Leaping. I was unsure who to bestow my ten lords a leaping award on, and then I remembered someone who has been an avid supporter of my writing since day one. She reads, comments and emails me telling me how much she likes my writing, and I have become quite fond of her. Oh, and she’s another thing I love from Canada… they are coming out of my ears. Maybe I should just move there! Sandra Bell Kirchman – you are my Ten Lords a Leaping!

My Ten Lords a Leaping isn’t actually a post today, but a ‘good things come in threes’.  My blog went live on the Huffington Post yesterday (good thing 1), I got featured in the homepage of as an editor’s pick (yay!! Good thing 2) which I only realised when my inbox was flooded with notifications of people adding me as friends and voting for me ( a thought crossed my mind.. who’s entered me for idiot of the year??!) and last night I got a text saying “What are you doing tomorrow night?” I responded with the standard, “Not a lot, prepping for Christmas” and got a message back informing me that I now had 2 tickets to see Rihanna. Tonight! Emma and I are very excited, and I am very very grateful and feel totally spoilt. Christmas has come early for me, and I feel lucky to have been given such a generous gift. And so does Emma :).

4 more sleeps till the big day. Merry Christmas, one and all!

16 Responses to “Calendar Wars”

  1. underwhelmer December 21, 2011 at 12:31 pm #

    Wow. Congrats! 🙂

    Have fun at the concert, just be sure to put it on the calendar. 😉

  2. visitingmissouri December 21, 2011 at 12:32 pm #

    And, good thing 4, you’re out of my spambox. Have a great time tonight!

    Also, I don’t really have calendar wars yet, but I’ve seen them among my parents. Don’t you just love the phrase ‘But it’s been in my own calendar for months, doesn’t that count for ANYTHING?’

  3. Minding My Nest December 21, 2011 at 12:55 pm #


  4. prenin December 21, 2011 at 2:29 pm #

    Reminds me i have to get a wall calendar after Christmas – mine runs out in January so no worries!!! 🙂

    Weather wet and horrible today, but no sign of Doug Thank God!!! 🙂

    Merry Christmas sweety!!! 🙂


  5. susielindau December 21, 2011 at 3:20 pm #

    No calendar wars here! We just fly by the seat of our pants!
    I will check out Sandra’s blog!

  6. twindaddy December 21, 2011 at 4:16 pm #

    I don’t bother keeping a calendar as my plans always seem to get change whether by my choice or not. I always lose…

  7. JT December 21, 2011 at 6:24 pm #

    No calendar wars here…I have six kids so planning on doing anything I want is out of the question! Btw having a bunch of kids instead of cats will not only help your bucket list it will change your Christmas plans as well 🙂 Thanks for stopping by my blog and following. Think I’ll stick around your site a while and see what kind of mischief I can get into 😉

  8. gojulesgo December 21, 2011 at 7:39 pm #

    Ha! You want to hear something really bad? I’ve written things on the calendar AFTER they’ve happened just so our dog walkers think we have a life. LOL!!!

    I hope you ladies are about on your way to the concert – HAVE FUN!!! (I know you will!) And congrats again on all of the writing successes – you deserve it!

  9. Carola December 21, 2011 at 9:01 pm #

    Congrats on all counts! Huffington Post is a big deal. Merry Christmas.

  10. The Byronic Man December 22, 2011 at 12:04 am #

    Are calendar war is a non-starter because my wife remembers to write things in it and I don’t. It’s like a calendar war in which one side has nuclear capabilities and the other left the bullets in his other pants.

    • The Byronic Man December 22, 2011 at 12:05 am #

      “Our” calendar war. I frantically tried to fix it as it loaded.

  11. drewpan December 22, 2011 at 2:52 am #

    My wife and I don’t have a joint calendar or anything like that, but we do have a dog that does the same thing as your cats. He’s almost always well-behaved and controls his bladder, except in 2 situations:
    1) He’s with his brother (who normally lives with my sister-in-law) and then it’s a game of out-peeing each other.
    2) When someone in our family is away. He’ll leave Golden Offerings in our rooms, as if it’ll quickly summon us back.

    Congratulations on Huffington Post!!!

  12. Sandra Bell Kirchman December 22, 2011 at 8:41 am #

    Wow, I’ve never been a Lord a-Leaping before, never mind ten of them. I’m feeling quite schizophrenic and light headed. Mostly I’m wondering how you knew that I dress up in my husband’s clothes and prance around the living room, to the astonishment of our three small shih tzus. I’ve been busted!! But thank you for your kind words. If you come to Canada, we’ve got a place for you to stay.

    Now, on to your other good news. Congratulations on Huffington Post. As someone declared, that is a BIG DEAL. And your other recognitions are so well deserved. It looks like you’re coming into your own, and I couldn’t be happier for you if you were my own daughter. You go girl and let the world hear your thunder…or well, a small roar anyhow. *hug*

    Oh, I almost forgot. Calendar wars at our house has somehow been turned against me. I am the one who puts all the engagements, appointments etc. on it and then post it up on the fridge. Hubby faithfully looks at it most of the time. And if I forget to put something that we both know about on the calendar, he buys himself a “Get out of jail free” card by pointing out in a superior voice that “it wasn’t on the calendar” so he doesn’t have to go. I’m scuppered at that point.

  13. Team Oyeniyi December 28, 2011 at 1:03 am #

    WOW – are you having a run of good fortune or what! Great to hear all the good news! Love that your blog has gone live on HP, that is great.

    I’ll bet you enjoyed the concert!! Lucky you, Miss O 1 is jealous, oh, so jealous!

    • Team Oyeniyi December 28, 2011 at 1:04 am #

      And yes, 2012 is going to be the year of the calendar for us! I am buying a wall planner this week – with 6 of us we have to be organised!

  14. artzent September 28, 2012 at 2:32 pm #

    No time restrictions here but I do have chickens and one- the best one- is named Emma!

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