The calendar is a modern tool designed to plan our lives, and organise our families. It lets you input social events and schedule engagements so that family life runs smoothly with little disruption.
Or so you think.
I overheard a discussion in the office this week between two of the men folk that I share an office with about plans for the weekend. The point of discussion was the calendar. One was commenting to the other how he couldn’t do something or other because his other half was busy, and although he knew nothing about it, it was legal and binding, as it was ON THE CALENDAR.
Ex-boyfriend and I used to have the same arguments. No, we didn’t have children, but we did have two constantly ravenous kittens that destroyed the house room by room if left alone for more than a few hours. Therefore at the weekends, one person was required to look after them, or at least ensure they were fed so they didn’t bring offerings of wildlife into my clean house. We couldn’t ask the neighbours to pop in and feed them you see, as these two had evil personalities and resorted to pooing on the laminate if they knew that one of us wasn’t going to be back. It was like they felt in the air that their rightful owners were abandoning them, and decided to repay us by defecating on the floor. Luckily we didn’t have carpets I suppose. So inviting someone else around to feed them was like asking them to muck out the horses; something no one will willingly agree to, and that you wouldn’t want to put anyone through anyway. The other issue was that we only had one car (my car) and that was also a bone of contention. If ex-boyfriend wanted to borrow said car, he had to consult the calendar to see if I was doing anything that would mean he would have to get the train. Being trapped in the middle of nowhere was just about bearable if there was food and I had no plans, but if nicking the car for football and leaving me stranded with somewhere to go was afoot, I would not be best pleased.
The rules of the calendar are this:
The calendar has the final word. If plans are not written on the calendar and another person writes plans on the calendar, the latter wins the battle and the former must assume all duties like feeding the cats / babysitting the children etc.
The calendar can be written on as far in advance as the writer likes, and must be consulted before any plans are made.
Any attempts of crossing out an opponent on the calendar game is seen as grave cheating, and is punishable by death (or the cancelling of their plans).
So the calendar becomes the Holy Grail and the law of the land. I know I’ve had the conversation before when planning a weekend away without the ex-boyfriend, where he had informed me he was away, using the car and not able to feed the terror squad and I responded “is it on the calendar?” in that really irritating voice, knowing full well that my plans were not on the calendar and having to rush home to update it and therefore win the calendar name.
Do you have calendar war in your house?
For the Tenth Day of Christmas my true love gave to me: Ten Lords a Leaping. I was unsure who to bestow my ten lords a leaping award on, and then I remembered someone who has been an avid supporter of my writing since day one. She reads, comments and emails me telling me how much she likes my writing, and I have become quite fond of her. Oh, and she’s another thing I love from Canada… they are coming out of my ears. Maybe I should just move there! Sandra Bell Kirchman – you are my Ten Lords a Leaping!
My Ten Lords a Leaping isn’t actually a post today, but a ‘good things come in threes’. My blog went live on the Huffington Post yesterday (good thing 1), I got featured in the homepage of Bloggers.com as an editor’s pick (yay!! Good thing 2) which I only realised when my inbox was flooded with notifications of people adding me as friends and voting for me ( a thought crossed my mind.. who’s entered me for idiot of the year??!) and last night I got a text saying “What are you doing tomorrow night?” I responded with the standard, “Not a lot, prepping for Christmas” and got a message back informing me that I now had 2 tickets to see Rihanna. Tonight! Emma and I are very excited, and I am very very grateful and feel totally spoilt. Christmas has come early for me, and I feel lucky to have been given such a generous gift. And so does Emma :).
4 more sleeps till the big day. Merry Christmas, one and all!