Culinary Master? Kitchen Disaster!

12 Dec

This weekend I intended to spend some time making the flat all festive-smelling by baking lots of delicious Christmas treats. I was thinking a new batch of truffles (take 2, success), some mince pies, mini cheesecakes and a roast rack of lamb for my family on Sunday, all to get them feeling merry.

It never turns out the way you planned it, does it? On Saturday I sat in front of Christmas films and tried to make some little boxes to give my truffles in. I had visions of cute little boxes tied with a bow that I could put amongst the Christmas tree pines and label individually, for a sneaky treat on Christmas Day. What it resulted in was me feeling frazzled with tiny bits of cut card everywhere, and sellotape in my hair. At which point the Little Princess turned up and with a direct hit that only my favourite four year old could muster she said “There’s paper ALL OVER THE FLOOR!” Ten out of ten for observation.

Having had zero sleep for the past two nights, I decided to get an early night on Saturday. I took some Night Nurse (it’s always because of the Night Nurse!) and woke at 11 the following morning, aware that I had invited my family round for dinner in an hour, but with the muzzy head of someone who had drank a whole bottle of gin the night before. God help me.

I raced around the kitchen, fully aware that I had under half an hour to prep the lamb and roast potatoes and make the cheesecakes, as well as tidying the flat and hoover up the biscuit crumbs the littlest of the rascals had deposited all over my carpet the night before. I also had last nights makeup on and wanted to create a serene air of “Oh I just threw this together!”

I started with the cheesecakes. Easy peasy. Tub of butter needed melting and rather than faff with doing it on the hob I stuck it in the microwave. Now most butters come in plastic containers, but oh no, this one had an aluminium label, cue actual sparks from the microwave and an acrid burning smell.

Then I whizzed the mangoes and cheese together to make the topping,  forgetting to put the little lid on and therefore covering myself with cheese mix, all the while looking like an extra from Dawn of the Dead (especially since I dyed my hair back to slightly purple!).

Covered in cheese, I hoovered round the lounge, make the mince pies, got dressed ans made myself look alive in time for the arrival of my family. Result!

When they had gone I decided to make the mince pies, as it was on the list. The first batch went fine but I got the second out and decided they needed five minutes longer. Two hours later I woke up to a lovely sugary smell all round the house as the second round of mince pies merrily burned away in the oven.

I had had enough! I didn’t even bother trying to get them out of the muffin tray, sticking the whole lot straight in the bin and vowing to buy them next year.

How is your Christmas planning going?

I have received the Versatile Blogger Award a few times recently, but I have done a few of these before and am running out of things to say! So I thought than rather than respond to this I would do a 12 Days of Christmas style thing, naming 12 of my favourite bloggers, and 12 of my favourite posts that I have written :).

So, on the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me… a Partridge in a Pear Tree! And…

The Redneck Princess

The Redneck Princess is in my top things that Canada ever gave me, and she makes me happy when I am feeling grumpy. I love her ‘f**k it all’ attitude and I think you will too!!

Sleeping to Dream is the post of mine I think you should read. I wrote it over a year ago about the sleep walking and sleep talking experiences of me and my friends, and after rereading it the other night it really made me chuckle!

Happy December 12th 🙂

Belle x

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24 Responses to “Culinary Master? Kitchen Disaster!”

  1. susielindau December 12, 2011 at 4:31 pm #

    You are a kindred spirit!
    I currently have my Christmas card all ready to cut up in an assembly line process. Yes it is an art project. My friend just stopped by and looked around my mess of three projects going at once….It’s that time of year!!

  2. boudicabpi December 12, 2011 at 4:45 pm #

    I don’t even dare try, the house already is a mess. I called Megan and asked with Christmas coming up could she use a few extra dollars and she’s been coming over and cleaning. Wed. she called and asked what I wanted to do and told he take me to the mall and help me get some gifts. Was going shopping with her husband when he got home and said we would do more cleaning and sit down and make a list for my son and she would get when they went shopping. She brought most everything over Thu. AM all wrapped and brought about everything else Thu. evening all wrapped. I lucked out on shopping. Do have to cook though.
    Bob A.

  3. LittleMissVix December 12, 2011 at 4:46 pm #

    🙂 Night Nurse sounds scary!

  4. Mike December 12, 2011 at 5:31 pm #

    Curse that tub of butter! I’ve fallen foul of that myself, it wasn’t lurpak butter by any chance?

    • tinkerbelle86 December 12, 2011 at 5:52 pm #

      hahah! it was!!!

      • Mike December 12, 2011 at 6:59 pm #

        I knew it! From that moment, I had a love / hate relationship with that brand. Hate its wrapping, love its salty fatty goodness (I never get the plain one, salted everytime).

  5. kathryningrid December 12, 2011 at 5:37 pm #

    Ah, so the Christmas Bomb has gone off. Now you can relax–it’s out of the way for this year. 🙂

  6. Bluejellybeans December 12, 2011 at 7:41 pm #

    Happy December 12th to you too! That was a fun reading 🙂

  7. nelle December 12, 2011 at 9:08 pm #

    Can I say, for no particular reason, how I love the word ‘hoover’? Most who know me know whimsical will send me scurrying down the street at speed, but hoover is quite the opposite. It makes me smile every time.

    Nice dodge of culinary frustration, eh? Since I could burn water, a deliberate and wise choice!

  8. Meg@thelegaltart December 12, 2011 at 9:18 pm #

    This sounds a little bit like my sunday. Made jam, gave myself a number of burns thanks to jam splatter and grated my thumb before realising it was bed time and the bed didn’t have sheets!

  9. prenin December 12, 2011 at 9:31 pm #

    Get yourself a timer/alarm hun – just in case you decide to doze off and incinerate the kitchen – as well as a decent smoke alarm! 🙂

    PLEASE TAKE CARE!!!

    I don’t want anything bad to happen to you hun – you’re too good a person for that! 🙂

    Love and hugs!

    Prenin.

  10. gojulesgo December 12, 2011 at 9:40 pm #

    Oh, you make me laugh! Did you dye your hair before or after we Skyped? I thought it looked great!

    I had a similar experience yesterday, running around cooking and cleaning like mad, missing ingredients, 15 minutes to shower and put make-up on!

    Love the 12 Days of Christmas idea, too!

  11. susannye December 12, 2011 at 10:38 pm #

    Hello Tinkerbelle … sounds familiar – happens every time I try cram 12 hours of stuff into an 8 hours day. Have fun and thanks – Susan

  12. alternative eating December 12, 2011 at 11:23 pm #

    You always put a smile on my face:) I hope your family saw all the effort you had put into the food:) …who looks if there is a sticker on the butter tub…not me…When one thing goes wrong, usually a lot more go wrong. I hope that the 13. will be a better day:) 🙂

  13. Megan December 13, 2011 at 1:45 am #

    Oh how I love you chickadee! You’re so cute… Love the 12 days of Christmas idea. 🙂 I finally got my last tree set up last night. Now working on a couple of pieces for my walls then on to making Christmas gifts… I’m so far behind and I haven’t written a blog post since Thanksgiving! 😦 Miss you!

  14. Beth Somers December 13, 2011 at 2:46 am #

    I love this! Hasn’t a situation like this happened to all of us? Happy holidays – love your spirit!

  15. barkinginthedark December 13, 2011 at 4:16 am #

    i blame the night nurse. continue…

  16. Minding My Nest December 13, 2011 at 4:21 am #

    story. of. my. life. LOL 🙂

  17. BROOKEandMCKENZIE December 13, 2011 at 5:55 am #

    Sorry you had such a mishap with the baking, it happens. Just recently I was trying to show off my caramel-making skills and burnt the caramel and then managed to spill it all over myself and the stove. Caramel is NOT easy to clean up, let alone burnt caramel which stinks and sets off the fire alarm!

    Never heard of Night Nurse, but as long as it works! Maybe we don’t have it in Canada. Also love the 12 days of Christmas idea. Thanks for sharing another fellow Canadian blogger, always appreciated and we love you and your blog!

    Brookeandmckenzie.wordpress.com

  18. BougieHippie December 13, 2011 at 5:56 am #

    why cook when you have a working phone, Google and a credit card?

  19. racheldeangelis December 13, 2011 at 8:05 am #

    Oh Wow! Your Christmas party disasters remind me of my Thanksgiving party disasters I wrote about awhile back! Nothing like a holiday to bring out the craziness! 😀

  20. littlebrownbaby December 14, 2011 at 4:26 pm #

    Hilarious post!! I totally understand!

  21. shanapowell December 16, 2011 at 3:05 pm #

    I’m glad to see I’m not the only one with kitchen disasters! At least have a good story to tell!

  22. kymlucas December 19, 2011 at 6:10 pm #

    Great post. One we can all relate to. The U.S. equivalent of Night Nurse is Nyquil
    (liquid — comes in two varieties, red and blue). It works on colds when nothing else will do the trick. So effective that I mentioned it in a Facebook post, saying I should write a poem to it. Someone jokingly suggested they’d like to read that so, of course, I took it as a challenge. Here is the result.

    Nyquil makes my dreams come true.
    I drink it red. I drink it blue.
    It works for colds but not for flu.
    Nyquil makes my dreams come true.
    Full of good things like alcohol,
    You’ve got symptoms, it cures them all.
    When you’re sick, it makes you well
    Cuz it’s full of good things like alcohol.

    Here’s hoping all your holiday dreams come true, with or without Night Nurse. 🙂

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