Danger, Danger… High Voltage

19 Nov

Last night after work I head straight over to LouLouBelle’s to spend some time with my favourite little person (my other favourite little person was fast asleep by this point after a hard day of crying and eating). We danced to a bit of Maroon 5, had an interesting chat about the thought process behind some of her finger paintings, and discussed her birthday wish list (her top wish is a “doll that poos in its potty”. Right. I think I’d prefer gift vouchers) before she had her milk and went to bed. I forget the little princess will only be turning four next month; she’s such a wise little owl. Before she went to bed I read her a story, and then she read it back to me, word for word. She can’t actually read, but she has such a good memory that she has learnt the book and knows at what stage to turn the pages. (GIVE THE GIRL A MEDAL; SHE’S GOING TO BE AN ASTRONAUT!!) She also does the cutest face when she gets to the bit about some animals sleeping with their eyes open.

Anyway, after a while I got a text message from Em to tell me that the electric had gone off in the flat and she had gone to her mums. Upon further enquiry it transpired that there was a ‘big bang’ from the oven, and then the whole flat went out.

I got home and the electricity was still out. By this time I was panicking. After all, my routine is that at the start of the month when there is money in my account I buy food, cook it and freeze it. Just like my mum, I stock up the freezer! I had visions of everything defrosting and having to eat pot noodles until payday (shudder. This is my idea of actual hell. Kevin Bacon feeding me pot noodles for the rest of eternity). The rest of the flat block and the communal lights were all on, so I knew it had to be something to do with the fuses, and after the last time we had an electric related problem, I knew where the fuse cupboard was. Result!

I looked and couldn’t see anything (of course I couldn’t, I totally didn’t know what I was looking for). I was also busting for the loo so I had to find the bathroom in the dark (I don’t have anything as useful as a torch. Or a screwdriver for that matter) so it took me about half an hour to have a wee before comedy tripping over the hoover and going back to the problem. I was out of my depth. I called the landlord; it went straight to answerphone. I called my friend Stu who is an electrician, he didn’t answer. I called my Daddy, who said he didn’t know anything about electrics. My friend Kevin (who is fairly helpful in man situation) is on holiday, and by this time my iPhone (horrible thing!!) was about to die, despite it only being charged about an hour ago.

I began fiddling. I managed to turn off all the electrics in the communal area (apologies to anyone who lives in the block and experienced problems with their electrics last night, it was me flicking switches!) and was happy to find that those switches actually did something. I flicked another one.

There was an almighty bang and a blue flash. Turns out there is something wrong with that one! But then all the lights went back on. Terrified that I might kill myself (and my sister and dad who had arrived with torches) I quickly shut the cupboard and went back in the flat. I got the WiFi to work again (utmost importance!!) and then started cleaning the kitchen. As I got round to the over, merrily scrubbing away at the worksurfaces and singing along to Usher (usher, usher) a massive blue spark came out of the socket and a huge bang was heard.

The long and short of it is although I managed to fix it, I stayed in the flat last night by myself with a torch by my bed in case of further bangs and shortages. Nothing happened again, so I have decided that there is a genie living in the cooker, and he wasn’t hapy about the state of the kitchen. Surfaces cleaned, genie appeased.

14 Responses to “Danger, Danger… High Voltage”

  1. visitingmissouri November 19, 2011 at 12:04 pm #

    Exciting times. Also a pretty good incentive to clean your kitchen, apparently. Lastly, about the birthday wishes of the little one: if she’s going to have a doll that poos, it had better be doing it in the potty, right?

  2. Cassie's world November 19, 2011 at 12:34 pm #

    Awesome post, Tinkerbelle! So funny!

    Electricity can be a b*tch! Had a similar problem a few months ago.. my old, old tv died that night -so did all the frozen food :(. I did the best I could, lit a candle and ate at least the frozen sushi in the dark around midnight. This time it wasn’t an cooker-genie who was angry. I think it was a cry for help by the sewerage-tunnels. Because after they scarified the road surface to fix that cable problem (all night long!), they must have seen the bad conditions the tunnels were in. So a few weeks later they replaced them, which took months, was right under my window, very noisy -and of course during the time of my final years project (they finished the road, when I finished my thesis). So I guess sewerage-tunnels can be b*tches, too 🙂

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts, love your writing-style! Cassie.

  3. lifeintheboomerlane November 19, 2011 at 12:58 pm #

    Charming, even with the scary poppings and whatnot. I was once evicted from my home by the police when right in front of my house, a streetlight exploded, set a tree ablaze and a live wire came down on my front lawn. The police demanded that I leave immediately (I was in my pj’s). Pretty darn exciting.

  4. Katie November 19, 2011 at 1:43 pm #

    I love kidlets – they are wise and fun – and haven’t been spoiled by people tell them ‘no, that’s not possible.’ – definitely magical little creatures. As for other magical creatures such as blue genies who hate messes – you might want to keep a fire extinguisher by your bedside along with your torch – just in case he gets really pissed off about the state of affairs in your kitchen!

  5. riatarded November 19, 2011 at 5:01 pm #

    Your iPhone was out of battery in an hour? Are you serious?:/ is it the 4S?

  6. gojulesgo November 19, 2011 at 8:29 pm #

    Wow I am very impressed! I would have been curled in the fetal position crying in the dark, far away from the genie-infested oven.

    I loved this: “…had an interesting chat about the thought process behind some of her finger paintings,” and the line about Kevin Bacon made me laugh out loud!

  7. barkinginthedark November 19, 2011 at 11:09 pm #

    Tinkerbelle, i was once in a HUGE restaurant bathroom with a timer on the light switch, and of course it ran down and it was PITCH BLACK…I mean INK. and there wasn’t even a sliver of light under the door! it actually took me an almost panicked, and then laughing out loud, (it struck me as hilarious – i had headlines in my head “Man Found Starving in Restaurant Mens Room etc.) 10 or so minutes to find the front door knob. i sympathize. continue…

  8. prenin November 19, 2011 at 11:37 pm #

    Sounds like a serious cooker fault hun – don’t mess around!

    Get your landlord to buy in an electrician – cheaper than renting – and get it sorted ASAP.

    Fires have started with less!!!

    Love and hugs!


  9. cooper November 20, 2011 at 1:14 am #

    Time for a new cooker! Better ring head office and file an A14B (No that’s area services out of Paddington. You need the A27C blue form from Reading….)

  10. nelle November 20, 2011 at 5:38 pm #

    That needs a thorough examination, bare wires may lurk. I’ve done my share of wiring (US standards) but without examination cannot speak of cause other than suspicion something is in position to short. IMO, that circuit should be off until a pro takes a peek.

    Do you have circuit breakers or fuses? A breaker is a switch system, it will trip off and feel spongy, sort of in the middle between off and on. A fuse is like a mini light bulb with a clear centre, where you can see if the thin wire inside snapped apart – that is what breaks the circuit and shuts down the flow of power.

    Take good care, and insist your landlord get on with a fix.

  11. Pie November 22, 2011 at 12:06 am #

    Sounds like a dodgy place you’re living in, Tinkerbelle. I visualised you emerging from the flat with hair high to the ceiling and your eyebrows singed off after electrocuting yourself with the malevolent genie cooker. Glad to know all was well in the end.

    By the way, what have you got against Kevin Bacon? Westlife, or any other boyband would be my bête noire!

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