Bloody Botox!

3 Nov

I was reading the newspaper this week and I stumbled across the Femail section; a place where this particular tabloid puts all the articles that people don’t actually want to read, but might peruse if waiting in the doctor’s surgery/being forced to watch Match of the Day/bedridden.

And I came across an article about ‘pumping parties’. Apparently this is a new thing taking America by storm, where gaggles of yummy mummies or ladies that lunch meet up and have Botox because it is cheaper than actually having it legally.

I don’t know about you, and I know that my opinion might be skewed as I am in my twenties, wrinkle free (praise the lord!) and not considering pumping death into my face at any point, but when I meet up with my friends at someone’s house it normally involves a lot of food, copious amounts of wine and some raucous giggling. “I know girls, let’s put needles in our faces!!” would go down like a lead balloon.

And here comes my rant about Botox.

It’s a form of poison. It’s a strain of botulism and in the olden days it was referred to as the ‘sausage poison’ (waheeeey!) so why you would actively seek someone to squirt it into your face is beyond me.

Maybe I’m lucky. My mother definitely doesn’t look like she is in her fifties and my daddy looks young for his age, so maybe my thought process is shaped by the hope that my genetics will make me age like Joanna Lumley (gracefully) and I will not want to look like a waxwork version of myself, with fish lips and a permanently perplexed look. I have visions of the chat with my sister when we are in our sixties and I have just had Botox.

Her “Pull a sad face! Now pull a happy face! Nope, it’s the same face. Try an angry face. No, same face. You just permanently look like a rabbit caught in headlights. Sort of surprised-confused. You look stupid!”

I think that the scariest thing about Botox is that when you stop having it, it makes the whole aging process worse and your face ends up looking like an old sofa that has had far too much use over the years. Saggy and fading.

When I was seventeen I worked in a cosmetics department on the weekends to fund my shopping habit (3 a day doesn’t sound like much, until you realise I am talking about garments and accessories). We had this new lip gloss come in that was supposed to be like Botox in a gloss, and make your lips all plump and pouty, ala Angelina! We all tried it. Lord knows why, there is absolutely nothing wrong with my lips as they are, but oh well, everyone was doing it so like a lamb to the slaughter, I popped a bit on. It stung. Like I had been stung, on the lip, by a wasp. Now I think about it I have a recollection of it being called Lip Venom, so I probably should have backed away carefully. My colleague felt the burning sensation so badly that she wiped it off her lips with the back of her hand,. Smearing it across her cheek. Within minutes her cheek and hand had risen in a welt, and she had to go and wash her face. I think they still sell it, surprised that stuff made it through health and safety!

Let’s hear it for growing old (dis)gracefully!


43 Responses to “Bloody Botox!”

  1. virtuos and beautiful November 3, 2011 at 7:53 am #

    There are so many toxins in make-up, it’s unbelievable the disregard that make-up companies have in the United States.

    • tinkerbelle86 November 3, 2011 at 9:24 pm #

      I remember being fairly grossed out when I realised lanolin was sheep fat and they put it in lipstick. Eeew!

  2. barkinginthedark November 3, 2011 at 8:17 am #

    i feel about botox the same way i feel about men shaving their entire bodies. both looks are, to me, grotesque. their are women here in la la land that look as if they’d been birthed by a duck. stay naturally beautiful. continue…

  3. barkinginthedark November 3, 2011 at 8:18 am #

    oops I meant “there” are women…etc… the rest stands.

  4. duncanr November 3, 2011 at 8:18 am #

    There’s a very odd look about men and women who have had botox injections, which I find a bit scary

    Personally I like my face better now with a few wrinkles than I did when I was younger 😆

  5. barkinginthedark November 3, 2011 at 8:27 am #

    p.s. i just added your blog to my “award” post The VBA post. sorry for the oversight. continue…

  6. An Observant Mind November 3, 2011 at 8:45 am #

    I’m with you 100%.

    The worst is when they look at other women their age (or younger) and act all smug like “I look so fabulous for my age…” Err… NO some quack did some work on you that makes you look abnormal for your age. We have a few of them in our family – botox, surgery, the works, and they want you to act like they are aging so well when they really look like something from a freak show.

    I hope to do as you have mentioned. Eat well, exercise, laugh often and age as gracefully as I can. I don’t even dye my hair (at the ripe old age of 37 & 3/4) I have a few greys appearing, and when they begin to take over, so be it. Ill have some fun with it and maybe some young kids will offer me a seat on the train or something 😉

    Stick with your way, there’s a whole lot more self-worth in knowing that looking fake doesn’t make you any prettier or more valuable. Some of the most ‘physically unattractive’ people I know are the most attractive to me – because they are kind, generous, funny and loving and self confident! I know what I’d rather be.

    Always remember, the reason all those super-skinny 30-something mums are often so bitchy, is because they’re HUNGRY – they haven’t had a decent meal since 1984!! 🙂

  7. Kats Whispers November 3, 2011 at 8:46 am #

    You would have thought with the role models of Sylvester Stallone and Meg Ryan that we mere normaltons would have learnt that natural is far superior. I recently watched Scream 4 and the most horrific thing was the state of Courtney Cox’s face. She’d totally lost her personal character by freezing her face and pumping up her lips.

    Botox has it’s uses just not for superficial cosmetic ones…

  8. Kari @ bite-sized thoughts November 3, 2011 at 8:59 am #

    I’m with you on this one all the way 🙂

  9. visitingmissouri November 3, 2011 at 9:02 am #

    I also believe that laughing hard an plenty will get you the best wrinkles in the world. I’ll choose a wrinkly granny anytime over the 75-year-old girl next door. Gross!

  10. Bluejellybeans November 3, 2011 at 10:15 am #

    There’s a Spanish designer that used to say “The wrinkle is beautiful” . I couldn’t agree more 😉

  11. Sam November 3, 2011 at 10:35 am #

    Yesterday I spent five hours in a dentist’s chair. I chipped my teeth last year falling off a horse and finally was able to get them fixed.

    My mate and I had joked about getting our lips done awhile back. Ala Angelina.

    After my five hour stint my lips had swollen up and my dentist joked that they’d look like that permanantly if I got some work done to them.

    It was not pretty. At all.

    Never mess with the face! I’d get my boobs done though…..

  12. ceciliag November 3, 2011 at 11:28 am #

    But it is not a one off, but where are these botox parties? Maybe there is a lot of media hype in this, because everyone knows (and this goes for boobs as well) that the maintainance is endless, you have to get it done again and again and again!

  13. sandylikeabeach November 3, 2011 at 12:37 pm #

    I’m 54 and have friends that have done the botox and Juvederm filler things and suggested that I should also try it. I have no desire to inject anything in my face. I did start wearing bangs a couple of years ago – they hide the wrinkles in my forehead quite nicely. My hair stylist’s favorite expression is “Bangs are better than botox.”

  14. imagesbytdashfield November 3, 2011 at 1:18 pm #

    Injecting poison into your body for vanity sake? None for me thanks, I’m aging naturally….well with certain products being used (makeup and hair color) but all ages use that (and some entirely too heavy!) Helen Mirren is my new idol.

  15. Tori Nelson November 3, 2011 at 2:51 pm #

    Listen, I shave my legs, brush my teeth and hair. Hell, I even wear perfume. I think that’s enough in the way of “working” on one’s appearance. I will consider it a bad, bad day when I think to shoot poison into my forehead in the name of beauty 😦

    • tinkerbelle86 November 3, 2011 at 9:26 pm #

      my hair isnt naturally red either… .but you have to draw the line!

  16. mistymaplesfarm November 3, 2011 at 3:01 pm #

    All I can say is…OUCH!

  17. coquetteinparis November 3, 2011 at 4:03 pm #

    Unfortunately a lot of the women doing at-home injections and risking their lives are poor transgender women, who can’t afford expensive cosmetic treatments but are desperate for them to complete their physical transformations. It’s so sad the lengths these individuals have to go through… and sometimes end up dying as a result.

  18. alternative eating November 3, 2011 at 4:07 pm #

    I agree with you. Shooting poison into your forehead and other places in you face is not the way to go. And when you look at it on the telly it looks sooooo painful. I am lucky like you, no wrinkles yet. I am all in for aging gracefully.

  19. prenin November 3, 2011 at 4:17 pm #

    I agree hun – I love women who have a personality, not a face full of toxins to stop them aging as they should.

    We all age – how we deal with it is another matter…

    Love and hugs!


  20. Jamie C. Baker November 3, 2011 at 4:25 pm #

    I’m pretty sure I couldn’t be paid to get botox, especially not from one of my ladies at lunch. People are silly 🙂

  21. thoughtsappear November 3, 2011 at 4:39 pm #

    I just watched an episode of 1000 Ways to Die where a lady got some quack to do her botox and he used something bad or did it wrong or something, and…she died. All so she could be wrinkle-free. =(

  22. lovelylici1986 November 3, 2011 at 6:02 pm #

    I don’t understand it. I don’t wanna look like anything but myself. EVER. I can barely take needles in the arms or bum when I need injections for health purposes. Get them in my FACE?! Just for looks?! No way. And it’s SO dangerous. And when it goes wrong, oooh, mannn. Horrible. I’ll pass. I’ll keep the wrinkles to remind me of the smiles, the laughs, the confusing moments in life, and the little surprises. At worst, it’ll be a road map to the past that makes today possible. I’m okay with that.

  23. nourishncherish November 3, 2011 at 7:47 pm #

    Just making it easier for those folks at wax museums to make a statue later on tinkerbell! Love your blog….keep at it.

  24. kathryningrid November 3, 2011 at 7:53 pm #

    I’m with all of you here, Belle first and foremost. You said it. Artificial youth is generally just very creepy! If I WANT to look like a clown, I’ll go to Klown Kollege.

    I have Spasmodic Dysphonia–just a fancy way of saying my vocal cords go into spasm for no good neurological reason and won’t cooperate for normal talking then–and the only known treatment for SD is to have Botox injected directly into the vocal cords every few months. Aesthetically speaking, I am SOOOO on the same tack as you, there’s no reason at all I’d spear toxins into my face or body voluntarily. Experientially speaking, despite having great doctors I’ve once had a toxic reaction to one of these SD treatments with Botox and it’s seriously unpleasant. So I would tell anyone that wanted to be stabbed in the face with that treacherous poison for voluntary or “recreational” purposes that they’re absolutely bananas! 😀

    • tinkerbelle86 November 3, 2011 at 9:27 pm #

      Poor you, that sounds horrible.

      • kathryningrid November 3, 2011 at 9:37 pm #

        It *would* be horrible if it weren’t the GOOD thing that there’s actually a treatment for this annoying condition, so other than that one ugly incident, I’ll happily go in like a very good girl and willingly let the Botox Vampire put his two little fang-marks on my neck, one for each vocal cord! Last did it this Halloween week: coincidence?? 😉

  25. tiallarising November 3, 2011 at 9:12 pm #

    oh my goodness…that Lip Venom stuff sounds horrible!!! 😯


  26. philosophermouseofthehedge November 3, 2011 at 10:19 pm #

    Sunblock! Sunblock! Sunblock! ( trust me on this )

  27. writingfeemail November 4, 2011 at 1:30 am #

    I tried it in a specialist’s office with all the proper medical supervision and followup phone numbers should something unexpected happen. Just a little in the crows feet around my eyes. I don’t know what I thought would happen – that I would look perfectly smooth – twenty again? The effect wasn’t bad but it wasn’t better either. It only lasts a few months and has worn off. I don’t plan to ever do it again and may I just say, it feels like bee stings again and again as it is being injected. Do any of you care if I have a few wrinkles? No, I didn’t think so.

  28. nicole November 4, 2011 at 3:33 am #

    LOL! “Let’s hear it for growing old (dis)gracefully!”
    this comment truly made me laugh!
    but i don’t agree!
    one can grow old, gracefully, with yoga!
    i post contemporary yoga sessions to my blog, so please check ’em out if you want the natural botox! 😉

    oh, and PS: i had a former colleague in her mid 30s who would get botox on her lunch breaks! ridiculous!

  29. Sunshine November 4, 2011 at 6:14 am #

    What women (and now men…) will do to keep the fountain of youth flowing. Maybe if more people hear/read the dangers of these practices and find natural alternatives (like nicole says, YOGA ) AND just be comfortable with themselves, life can go on as normal looking! thanks!!

  30. karen0909 November 4, 2011 at 2:06 pm #

    I used to work at a clinic that had botox parties every now and then. Like it was an entire buffet of the most delicious food you’ve ever seen.
    After you had stuffed your face with food the lady would go “alright girls, lets get this party started” and then the ladies would go and further stuff their face with sausage poison.


  31. The Hook November 6, 2011 at 1:20 am #

    I wish all young people had your outlook!

  32. therealsharon November 10, 2011 at 1:47 am #

    I think people with Botox look worse than old people with all their wrinkles! Wrinkles should be something to be proud of…it means you were lucky enough to make it as far as you have and you have lots of stories to tell! I will take my chances with getting wrinkles too! 🙂


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