Little Miss Bump

1 Nov

When I was younger I was fairly accident free, and therefore trusted to play out in the street without my parents fearing that I might come back missing a limb. As I have got older my spatial awareness has diminished, and I now walk into things and bruise like a peach at the merest of brushes.

My sister, on the other hand has been accident prone since she learnt to walk, and it’s got no better as she has aged. At the start of the year she went to stay with our family in California. On her second or third morning my auntie said to her that she was going out and if she needed anything to pop next door. Half an hour later, while slicing a bagel, my darling sister managed to slice through her hand and had to go next door covered in blood to get the neighbours to help her out. Great introduction.

She has always been this way though, so at least she is consistent. Through my childhood I used to either love her or resent her depending on the outcome of the injury. For example, the time when she waved at me from the top of the swing, fell backwards and winded herself, I resented her with dramatic aplomb as not only did we have to leave the other kids at the park early to take her home, I then had to spend the evening with my great-grandmother while my mum took her to casualty. Not the biggest idea of fun for a child on their summer holidays! But the time when she got her thumb stuck in the loo door at school and practically severed it off, I loved her as I got to play at a friend’s house far later than I normally would. There was also the time when she skated down the hill on her forehead; I loved her then too as my mum child-minded a six month old baby, and I was NEVER allowed to push the buggy home from school. Apart from this one time, when my sister was hemorrhaging from the forehead and my mum didn’t have enough hands.

At one point, I seem to remember my mum being asked some serious questions by child protection, such were my sister’s frequent visits to the A&E department at our local hospital. She scraped all the skin off her arm on the Astroturf and had to have x-rays and a sling, she fell into a rose bush and got covered in thorns, and a few weeks later while in my charge she fell out of a low tree and into a patch of stinging nettles; I got into trouble for that one.

But the most significant ones happened within a week of each other, in our old house. On the first occasion she was doing me a favour; I was trying to study on the computer and there was a tarantula above the door frame, very close to where I was sitting. My knight(ess) in shining armour got up on a chair to remove the beast, and smacked her head on the door frame, causing her to get a migraine and a bad back for a while. Not helped by the occurrences of the following week.

My mum had a biscuit tin. My sister liked biscuits. My mum felt that my sister should not just eat biscuits as her staple diet, so put the tin on top of the cupboards out of reach and went out. She would be back in a few hours, and I was to watch my sister, while trying to study. I sat at the computer, and suddenly heard a bang and a scream. My sister, wanting biscuits, had climbed onto the work surface, slipped in some water spilt by the kettle and fallen off, hitting her head on the granite tiled flooring. I was furious. I sat her on the sofa to watch TV and she kept calling that she was tired, I would scream back “DON’T YOU DARE GO TO SLEEP TILL MUM GETS HOME OR I’LL KILL YOU!”

Mum got home, took her to the casualty department, where she was treated for concussion. Turns out me threatening to kill her potentially saved her life. Who’d have thought it?


29 Responses to “Little Miss Bump”

  1. visitingmissouri November 1, 2011 at 9:36 am #

    I think your sister should wear a helmet going to bed. She is a lot of funniest (painful) home videos wrapped in one person, as it seems. I myself am not that bad, although anything that happens to me, will focus on my face. I’m never hurt anywhere else, but as a kid, my head was bleeding every few months or so.

    • tinkerbelle86 November 1, 2011 at 7:01 pm #

      I know, she needed to be wrapped in bubble wrap!

  2. prenin November 1, 2011 at 11:42 am #

    OUCH!!!! OUCH!!! OUCH!!!! LoL!!!

    Your sister never did things by halves did she?

    Now I have sympathy pains!!! LoL!!!

    Love and hugs!


  3. Danielle November 1, 2011 at 11:42 am #

    I think the spider incident was a year or so later, the first incident was tripping over a football in Pe and having my ankle swell up like a balloon, week later the head thing. Too many injuries to remember….

  4. becomingcliche November 1, 2011 at 12:02 pm #

    I have TWO kids like that. They’re on a first-name basis with the moray eel in the emergency department at the hospital.

  5. Danthonia November 1, 2011 at 12:14 pm #

    Dear oh dear. You sure we’re not related? I teach first aid and draw almost all my real life examples for my extended family’s injuries. Just ask my wife about the ram (olivine type), her face and a roller door. Ooh I just gotta blog that one some day.

  6. jules November 1, 2011 at 12:25 pm #

    I am always accident prone. but then, due to my disability, my co-ordination skills aren’t as top-notch as they can be…. if you know what I mean.


  7. bringdaddyabeer November 1, 2011 at 12:43 pm #

    I just love that you used “dramatic aplomb”! ❤

  8. madstickynotes November 1, 2011 at 12:57 pm #

    Cute post!
    I used to think I was bad in this respect but my sister has beaten me at the Most Accident Prone Award.

  9. myeventfullife November 1, 2011 at 1:32 pm #

    At least now after reading your post, I feel like my 5yr old isn’t that bad! We haven’t made a trip to the hospital…just yet! Knock on wood 😉

  10. susielindau November 1, 2011 at 1:37 pm #

    This is so funny! I hope your sister grows out of her accident prone nature and lives to see the age of 30~

  11. November 1, 2011 at 1:53 pm #

    Taratula! Are you freaking kidding me? Wow, I am so glad I live in Iowa cause spiders freak me out anyway.
    I sympathize with your mother. My kids were always, ALWAYS, getting into one jam after another. Most mother’s have to deal with flu’s, minor scrapes, occasionally a break…not me! My kids were literally on a mission to kill themselves. I spent a good chunk of my adult life on pins and needles waiting for them to grow up and get out of the house. Ten more days and the baby is 18. Good riddance!

  12. veryVERYbusymom November 1, 2011 at 3:42 pm #

    When my 15-year old was a toddler, like a puppy, she was still growing into her large feet and had three accidents in a single month. We took her to three different emergency wards and hoped that child services didn’t compare notes.

  13. chuck November 1, 2011 at 4:10 pm #

    Some of us are destined to be accident prone. I like to think of it as a skill and not a curse. It doesn’t really change anything, just makes me feel better about myself.

  14. philosophermouseofthehedge November 1, 2011 at 4:47 pm #

    FUNNY FUNNY. Born under a dark cloud, was she?……had “delicate” brother myself….able to rearrange all vacation plans in route sometimes

    • tinkerbelle86 November 1, 2011 at 6:59 pm #

      she was born in may so probably not! and she was such an angelic looking kid. i reckon she was born on a sunday (but the child that is born on the sabbath day is bonnie and blythe and good and gay!) but i’ll have to ask mother superior!

  15. mistymaplesfarm November 1, 2011 at 5:30 pm #

    ah , sisterly love…I have many similar stories, only I was the accident prone one.

    I enjoyed this post, read it with a smile.

  16. stodmor November 1, 2011 at 5:42 pm #

    my daughter had appendicitis this summer, her little sister was furious with jealousy, my same daughter sprained her ankle and had to go get an x-ray and splint, her little sister refused to talk to her. finally the little sister broke her arm 5 weeks ago. when i got to the school office she was surrounded by adults not telling her her arm was broken even though it was crooked. i looked at her arm then her and said ‘your arm is broken.’ ‘it is!?’ she sat up straighter. ‘has rosy ever had a broken arm?” “no. you are the first.” life suddenly got brighter and a lot more broken for the little sister.

    • tinkerbelle86 November 1, 2011 at 6:57 pm #

      hahah that sounds like the sibling rivalry in our house. my sister is now 23 but if i get one more roast potato than her all hell breaks loose!

  17. ellengry November 1, 2011 at 6:26 pm #

    Great post, and great blog 🙂

  18. David Warr November 1, 2011 at 7:22 pm #

    Wow, I don’t know who to thank more, your sister for providing the content, or you for telling it! Wonderful stuff. Thank you.

  19. pharphelonus November 1, 2011 at 8:09 pm #

    Gotta love precious irony, huh? Love it.

  20. Megan - Best of Fates November 1, 2011 at 8:11 pm #

    Now that’s one injury prone girl! No wonder other were suspicious – I can’t imagine getting hurt again and again like that, I think I’d probably become a crazy cautious person!

  21. robpixaday November 1, 2011 at 8:59 pm #

    Haaa!! Great stories!!

  22. barkinginthedark November 1, 2011 at 9:09 pm #

    kevlar. continue…

  23. tiallarising November 2, 2011 at 4:18 am #

    wow, I’ve never heard of someone having so many “accidents”. that’s amazing, haha. 😛


  24. The Hook November 6, 2011 at 1:32 am #

    Your paternal instincts kicked in when you needed them most! Death threats come with the territory, trust me!


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