Do Opposites Attract?

29 Oct

I have noticed in my time that people seem to identify with some of the stupid conversations I had with my ex-boyfriend. The one I used to live with (I feel I need to narrow this down). It seems that when you live with someone you have all sorts of silly conversations, and I swear, they started before we moved in. They say men are from Mars and women are from Venus, and me and this one totally were from different planets.

One night, after I had been at work all day and he had been a student all day (still not entirely sure on this one. He didn’t actually go to uni any more yet still claimed to be a student, so what he did is still a mystery) I came home. We shared a room at the time, it being just before we moved into our lovely cottage in the country with a rose bush and a garden (which in reality turned into a cold house in the middle of nowhere that was creepy and wild) and I was exhausted. Trying to let houses when people were doing their Christmas shopping was hard. I makeup removed, put my headband on, slathered myself with face mask, and hopped into my pjs. He played the Xbox (sense a theme?) and then I heard it. The dulcet tones of his Welsh friend. I froze.

“Where can I hear him from?” I asked.

“The Xbox!” he replied, as if I was insane and should know this already. I had tried to play the Xbox when we first got together in a nice girlfriendly fashion (not something I am familiar with) but I had got unceremoniously banned for making the players run round in circles and annoying everyone. My bad.

“Can he hear me?” I asked.

“Sure” was the reply I got.

I sat, pondering for a second and suddenly a thought crossed my mind.

“Can he SEE me?!” I asked.

“Uhhhhh, yep”.

“OHDEARGODTURNITOFFTURNITOFF!!!”

Him “I really do not see what the fuss is about.”

Me “I have just got changed from my work dress to my pjs. And he has seen my boobs and knickers in their full glory. How can you not?”

Him, after turning the sound back up so his mate was once again in radio contact “dude, next time she gets changed, just close your eyes. It’s just not cricket.”

LORD.

A few weeks later we went to look around a house. As a lettings agent I got the pick of seeing everything as they went on the market, and I found a perfect one. First floor, large flat. Big spaces, a small second bedroom for junk (the usual, ironing board, gym kit etc) and well in our price range so I could save up. Nope. He didn’t like it. Because the, and I quote ‘acoustics were all wrong”’for music production, and there wasn’t enough space. For the two of us. And we couldn’t get a pet. And it was in the city and he was a country bumpkin and he ‘couldn’t handle the noise’.

In a very un-me like fashion, I relented. We found a cottage in the country. There was no phone signal. There were no street lights. The bus went through sporadically when the bus driver could be bothered to get up. It cost a bomb. And the second large room for music production was used a grand total of five occasions. Twice when he went out and came home so late that he slept in the spare room as not to wake me, twice when my friend came to stay, and once for music production. In seven months.

The moral of this story is, that some men really are from a different planet!

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21 Responses to “Do Opposites Attract?”

  1. thesweetkitten October 29, 2011 at 9:13 am #

    Correction: they are all from a different planet 🙂

  2. An Observant Mind October 29, 2011 at 9:13 am #

    And dont you wonder what the men like that are doing now? Or at least WILL be doing in a few years. I always wonder where they end up when everyone else is in their late 30s married and having kids – maybe they all go back to the planet from whence they came!

  3. imonthebandwagon October 29, 2011 at 9:23 am #

    haha brilliant tink

  4. visitingmissouri October 29, 2011 at 9:35 am #

    I think the Xbox has come into this world to disrupt any form of human relations, any form of hard work and any chance of making the world a better place. Mind my words, in 2013, Xboxes rule the world.

  5. LittleMissVix October 29, 2011 at 9:43 am #

    Amen Tink!

  6. prenin October 29, 2011 at 10:17 am #

    Sorry fellas, but I have to agree with Tinks! 🙂

    Having seen the way males behave – and my rather strange relationship with Christine (Loooong Story!) I guess we were never intended to live together and when we do it’s quite an achievement!!!

    Love and hugs!

    Prenin.

  7. ceciliag October 29, 2011 at 11:32 am #

    Opposites may attract (for a moment) , but they do not get to be friends and friendship is kind of cool if you are living with someone.. I won’t even let a tv in our bedroom let alone an x box!! Crazy girl.. c

  8. AriRambles October 29, 2011 at 12:45 pm #

    Awesome post!! Reminds me of my relationship with my wife – we have so much NOT in common, yet we love each other… I was thinking of writing about this “opposite attract?” soon… hopefully will get it out in a couple of weeks… cheers

  9. Ipodman October 29, 2011 at 12:58 pm #

    Give me a moment to board my spaceship and fly back to my planet…

  10. susielindau October 29, 2011 at 3:59 pm #

    Too Funny! Skype has opened many an eye as well!!

  11. kathryningrid October 29, 2011 at 7:37 pm #

    Different planets, or, as the veterinarian once said sadly to my sister after being mauled yet again by her psychotic cat, “*Maybe* he’s just a jerk.”

    😀

  12. barb19 October 29, 2011 at 9:24 pm #

    Definitely from different planets Tink!

  13. barkinginthedark October 29, 2011 at 10:12 pm #

    perfect post for Halloween. continue…

  14. Team Oyeniyi October 29, 2011 at 11:06 pm #

    Now, you see, my husband would have been mortified! Culturally, they don’t even like to hand out knickers on the line in case someone sees them! 😆

    Your ex, however, needed to be banned from the x-box for a month!!!!

    • Team Oyeniyi October 29, 2011 at 11:07 pm #

      hanG out, not hand out………… sorry

  15. Ape No. 1 October 30, 2011 at 3:19 am #

    Haha. Being a middle aged dad I would love to debate your view on men but unfortunately deep down we are all 14 year olds boys putting on an act of maturity but we mean well. Well I know that is the case for me. The x-box peep show thing though is just this dude being a douche bag in my opinion.

  16. Susan October 30, 2011 at 7:55 am #

    From Planet Douchebag, perhaps.

  17. the island traveler October 31, 2011 at 9:23 am #

    Male and female are totally different in both thinking and emotions but it’s amazing that despite of those difference two people are drawn to each other…..or on the opposite side of the spectrum- repel! Awesome post. Happy Halloween!

  18. cperigen October 31, 2011 at 7:33 pm #

    I don’t know if it’s opposites attract or not. To me, it sounds like you had your shit together and that kid was a free-loading teenager hanging out in your house as if he was an actual boyfriend. I’ve had one or two of those myself. Opposites can attract…and it can be successful…if the opposites don’t include glaring issues with responsibility, maturity or affection.

  19. Tor Heart November 3, 2011 at 5:53 pm #

    I’m not just from another planet, I’m from another galaxy. But your ex seems more far out than me. There is no end to this universe! I’m against class divided societies, but can’t we at least have leagues like soccer?

  20. pharphelonus November 21, 2011 at 2:22 pm #

    yeah, not all cliches are true. LOL

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