“But It’s For Charideeeee!”

22 Oct

Wow. I am so grumpy of late. I think it’s the coming of the winter, like a steam train with no brake, but I feel like I am channelling my inner Victor Meldrew slightly more than normal.

So what’s my beef today?

Children in Need. This one popped into my mind after a conversation with the lovely Jules. And it’s been sitting there uncomfortably like when you eat too much and can’t roll over for fear of fainting, let alone have a cup of tea that will fill in all the tummy gaps and make you feel like you simple will blow up. I’m not against phone a thons and raising money for the disadvantaged, and I will happily sit through Red Nose Day and donate money here there and everywhere for that (I mean come on, a red nose for my car is distinctly what has been missing in my life all these years, not to mention red nose day antennae) but I cannot stand Children in Need.

I think its Terry Wogan. Terry Wogan has been the face of Children in Need for as long as I can remember, and I think it’s safe to say he annoys me (no, really?). I’ve grown up with that man leering out of the TV and banging on about how your donations make a difference and “I tought we had raised more! Put yer hands in yer pockets!” Not in a full on irritating Ainsley Harriot on the washing up liquid adverts way, but more of a mosquito flying around your head way; a dull hum that makes you think you are going insane.

But it’s not just him. Add Terry Wogan into a mix of washed up soap starts doing West End numbers, and my ears begin to bleed. They are in soaps for the very reason that they have {questionable} acting skills, so why take the time once a year to grace us with your singing voice? It’s almost like watching your parents in a local village hall performance of Annie. Awkward, and not really a situation you would like to find yourself in again. Imagine that being your Groundhog Day backdrop? And then they all start gadding about with an enormous cheque and shaking some buckets and everyone is required to smile and clap because it’s for charideeee! I imagine self-respecting people across the country turning into Chris from Family Guy and clapping inanely as they make some actor from The Bill dress up as Jack Sparrow and walk the plank. “It’s not rubbish! It’s for charideeee!”

I can’t imagine why people who wouldn’t normally donate to a charity would see this and change their mind. And then the bloody bear with an eye patch comes out and starts hugging people into his sweaty bear suit, and I have to turn it off.

I’m really sorry. I do feel terrible for not being able to embrace the bear with the masses and laugh and cheer while the Hollyoaks cast do Oliver, I really do. Really, I love children. I have two pet ones that I borrow from my friend Lou when I need a cheer up, and one day I will have rug rats of my own. I understand that there are kids in the world that are less fortunate and that we should help them out when we can, but if there is any way to make me turn off the TV and play scrabble in lightning time, it’s Terry Wogan.

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10 Responses to ““But It’s For Charideeeee!””

  1. prenin October 22, 2011 at 8:06 am #

    I know where you’re coming from Tinks! 😦

    I give regularly to charities of all persuasions, I used to collect for the NSPCC after I and my pre-nursing class were shown photographs meant for social workers – I had nightmares for weeks – and done sponsored walks etc. But these days I don’t give to children in need because the margin between eating and not eating is now so narrow on Incapacity Benefit that I simply have to look after myself, rather than make a grand gesture!

    Ho hum…

    Love and squishy hugs!

    Prenin.

  2. gingerfightback October 22, 2011 at 10:42 am #

    Years ago one of the Red Top dailies offered to make a donation of £50,000 if Sir Tel took his wig off on CIN day. He refused. He also gets paid for the gig.

    Tut tut

  3. BrainRants October 22, 2011 at 12:43 pm #

    Can’t you just switch the channel?

  4. gojulesgo October 22, 2011 at 1:24 pm #

    Conversation with this Jules?? I figure our mere presence, brightening lives one smile at a time, is charity enough. (Although I do enjoy the image of Chris clapping and saying “charideeee”!) I’m a little embarrassed to admit I don’t know who Terry Wogan is! Although now I think I know enough to avoid him, LOL

  5. duncanr October 22, 2011 at 11:47 pm #

    I have a similar reaction to Terry Wogan – the word ‘smarmy’ comes to mind whenever I have the misfortune to find him occupying my TV screen !

  6. kathryningrid October 23, 2011 at 1:27 am #

    Oi, I feel your pain! I find those that use those excruciating telethon techniques and guilt-edged pressure tactics to *make* us do what we might already feel we *should* do . . . well, excruciating. It’s similar to my feelings about so many ’cause fanatics’ fond of doing outrageous and even violent things to express their beliefs and emotions and yet are utterly unable to understand that this might not only NOT convert the world to their cause but conceivably MIGHT alienate someone or create more damage to the cause. SHOCKER!

  7. LittleMissVix October 23, 2011 at 1:09 pm #

    I don’t beeeelieve it! Sorry I had to 🙂

  8. Julia (AKA Jules) October 24, 2011 at 9:45 am #

    ha! I do love CIN but then again I do hate it. I love it when everyone collaborates together to raise money (and to have a giggle) but on my local news (I get two regions on analogue plus all the UK regions on sky/virgin) they go on and on about what the money does. WE KNOW. WE SEE IT EVERY YEAR. The only place where you get respite is BBC Scotland…. (but in Scot and NI they do pop concerts which is broadcast instead of the London opt-out, so much better than watching sir tel – as long as you like Patrick Kielty (i think!!) and John Barrowman….!!!)

    Mind you tho, whenever I get bored I always switch it over to Corrie….!!! :p

    Jules

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