Facebook was originally started as a university network; something that could keep everyone in touch. And then it exploded and bits of wall and status went everywhere, and now there is simply nothing that can be done about it. It will take over the world. They say that if Facebook was a country it would be the third biggest in the world, which I find a bit worrying. Sort of like when first boyfriend informed me that if ants were the size of humans they would dominate and be far superior, and we would be their slaves. You know, not something I will lose sleep over, but something that makes me uncomfortable all the same.
I was one of the later adopters of the service. I didn’t go to university so was contently living in my own little bubble where horrendous photos couldn’t be put up and tagged without me realising for days, or someone couldn’t invite me to their birthday/leaving drinks/coming out party without having to pick up the phone and call me. My friends hated it. One day one of them pinned me down and signed me up, and it’s been an addiction ever since.
But what is Facebook doing for our health? Not good things for the most of us, I imagine. Remember the days where you could part company with your other half and be blissfully unaware of their movements, presuming them dead? Not any more thanks to Mr Zuckerburg. And when you didn’t get reprimanded for not uploading your precious holiday photos IMMEDIATELY by your family? Aaah, those were the days.
I long for the days where I could go out drinking with my friends, and if someone took a photo the worst that could happen was that it appear in an album somewhere, and was laughed over for years to come. Now everyone you or the person with the camera has ever met will be able to see exactly why you hate that picture. For example, the Halloween where my friend accidently stood on my bare foot in stilettos. I fell to the floor in agony, and a photo appeared two days later on Facebook of a clear view of my pants, while my friend pointed and laughed. Funny photo for me and my friends. Not suitable for possible employers.
It has become a lynchpin in our lives. I often hop on the train and rather than grab a book, log into my Facebook from my iPhone and find out what that girl I haven’t seen in a decade is doing with her weekend or that old maths teacher is now a lesbian living on a commune somewhere in Israel. And what the hell is the deal with ‘poking’? Someone pokes you and despite you not having a clue what that is, politeness means that we do it back. After all, we don’t want to offend and leave that person pokeless.
So in summary I hate…. Oh god sorry, I got distracted updating my status. It seems that the love/hate cycle is endless and Facebook will continue to reign superior over the masses for a long while to come.
*Incidentally, the title is not a joke.