“Are You Sure?”

7 Oct

I hate going to the doctors. I basically go when summoned, so when they tell me I can’t have any more medicine until I show my face and prove I am not a druggy fending my pills off on the black market and the real Belle is dead. Or something.

But I hate it. I often make appointments and then cancel them when ‘something far more important’ comes up. Truth is, I have established a bit of an aversion to people in the medical profession, especially when they are wielding needles, which they normally are when advancing in my general direction. Eeeeesh.

I hate the reception areas the most. There are two types of people there; coughing people and general other sick people. I don’t like either of them. My immune system is so flat on its back that when I get a cough it lasts for about three months, so I’m tempted to wear one of those SARS masks. I only resist because I think it looks pretentious and if I bump into someone I know it will be embarrassing explaining. Especially if they have a cough.

My main issue is that I go in with something simple and always come out with something more drastic, or the need for ‘further investigation’. It’s just a cough. It might have lasted since April, but at the end of the day, it’s a cough. Nothing has fallen off so I am fine. But they ask you all sorts of questions, and you feel like you are letting them down by not giving them some sort of elaborate answer.

Same thing happens in the optician. They put the funny space glasses on you (that my mum loves. I swear she would actually get a pair of those made to her prescription if she had the chance) and then they fiddle about with it, give you an eye patch and ask you “is it better in one, or two?” you aren’t sure. They look the same. You venture one. They tap you on the top of the glasses, hide the magnifying glass thing behind their back as if they are changing it and come back again “one, or two?” “Um, two?” then they tap you again and say “how about now?” and you feel like you can’t possibly say two again because it’s clearly not the answer they are looking for. I bet the majority of people wearing glasses have the wrong prescription because they are simply trying to please the optician. Who nearly always has halitosis, and if they don’t they had cheese and onion crisps for lunch. Fact.

It’s the same with all ‘services’.  As humans we have the need to please, and the funniest one was last Christmas when it was particularly cold. I drove down the road to see a friend and find the road was shut off by the police. “innnnnteresting” I thought, going the other way. I just assumed someone had taken the hairpin bend on the road too fast and gone off into the snow.

I arrived at my friend’s house and pointed to the police cordon, asking what was going on. It turns out a body had been found in the snow and the police had been canvassing to find out if anyone had seen or heard anything.

Jess was embarrassed.

“The police came and knocked on the door and asked if I had seen anything” she said “I hadn’t. But then he asked me WAS I SURE? And I fell to pieces. I had heard a car alarm the other day, and what I thought was a fox but could have been someone screaming. They just put me on the spot!”

It turns out, as we read in the paper a few days later, that there was nothing untoward about the incident; the body had been that of a homeless person who died in the cold. Sad, but nothing as sinister as Jess’ hearing screaming in the street!

Advertisements

28 Responses to ““Are You Sure?””

  1. An Observant Mind October 7, 2011 at 8:50 am #

    I totally agree on the optician thing. Im always doing that ‘WTH is the answer? Im going to look like Im not paying attention if I keep giving the same one…’ Great post.

  2. gojulesgo October 7, 2011 at 11:14 am #

    I HATE going to the doctor, too! I feel like they’re judging me. Like a steady diet of cheese and champagne is anything to be ashamed of.

    • tinkerbelle86 October 7, 2011 at 4:17 pm #

      of course its not. swap the champagne for wine and im right behind you on that one. main foodgroups of life!

  3. prenin October 7, 2011 at 1:21 pm #

    I haven’t seen my doctor in years!

    I got to see doctor Nair when that eye infection knocked out the sight in my right eye and Nurse Emma when I was put on a diet, but since then Nada!

    I guess I’m considered able to look after myself – reassuring huh?

    I too have no love of needles, but my optician cleans his teeth and uses mouthwash, so I have no difficulties there! 🙂

    Love and squishy hugs!

    Prenin.

  4. lovelylici1986 October 7, 2011 at 1:35 pm #

    I don’t mind going to the doctor. I actually quite like my GP. He’s cool. And he generally just talks, asks questions, and comes up with the solution. I’ve never had to strip. And he knows that I hate needles, so he doesn’t bother if there’s an alternative.
    The optician… I hate that air puff they do in the eyes. Whyyyyy?!

  5. Tori Nelson October 7, 2011 at 1:38 pm #

    I avoid the doctor like nobody’s business!

  6. Alisha October 7, 2011 at 4:10 pm #

    Ooohh, this is why ‘witness testimony’ is so shady….it’s so hard to remember details of seemingly mundane events. It’s even worse when it’s something traumatic. In July we were at a parade and a gang scuffle erupted and our chairs got knocked over as one kid was getting beaten and kicked by a crowd. 5 minutes later I could not have told you how many kids, how many boys/girls there were, what the main offenders were wearing, nothing. And it literally happened 2 feet in front of me. I can only imagine what pressuring cops would add to the imagination. Gah.

  7. thesweetkitten October 7, 2011 at 4:53 pm #

    I am glad I am not the only one who is afraid of needles … To be honest, I am actually terrified by them. During my big summer trip, I got seriously ill in Slovenia and during my first night in hospital, they took blood 15 times! Yuck!

    • tinkerbelle86 October 12, 2011 at 9:21 pm #

      I am diabetic though so its not a great fear to have. its not the everyday ones, just the long ones….

  8. The Hook October 7, 2011 at 5:20 pm #

    The modern medical establishment is a nightmare and an accident waitng to happen! Great post!

  9. Lafemmeroar October 7, 2011 at 5:47 pm #

    It’s ironic that when we go to see a doctor to help us get better, we come out worse. Enjoyed reading your post …

  10. kathryningrid October 7, 2011 at 6:11 pm #

    The whole issue of doctor-avoidance is about whether or not you can find a Good Fit–the right skill-&-personality set to make you comfortable. How do I know? Because after many decades of terror of all of them I have a great general practitioner doc, AND dentist, ophthalmololgist, and set of specialists. Who’d’ve believed it.
    As for police, I’m afraid I have less faith in the possibility of total competence at all times! I once experienced a SWAT-team-like midnight raid on my home (my aunt and I were living there), swarming cops and glaring lights and shouting and pounding on windows and doors and all, that turned out to be at the wrong house. They’d gotten sent to a house about two blocks away and showed up at ours, thinking they were making a big drug raid. The best part is that when someone figured out the mistake, they just stopped dead, turned around and pelted off to the other house with never so much as a how-de-do to us (left shaking in the dark on the phone with an emergency operator who didn’t tell us anything either). The only reason we ever found out THIS much is because we discovered during the next few days that a police chief lived a few houses away from us and got him to inquire. Ah, the best laid plans . . .

  11. duncanr October 7, 2011 at 7:23 pm #

    I, too, hate going to the doctors and avoid it whenever possible. In my case, my low opinion of G.P’s comes from sharing a flat in Edinburgh many years ago with a bunch of medical students – which gave me a jaundiced opinion of the average G.P’s diagnostic skills ! 😆

  12. pithypants October 8, 2011 at 2:33 am #

    Just me, or do you routinely lie about how many drinks you have per week when asked by a doctor? I feel like it’s a trick question.

    • T Hollis October 8, 2011 at 3:49 pm #

      Just a heads-up: Doctors assume people underestimate how much they drink/smoke/etc., so they usually double whatever you tell them.

  13. T Hollis October 8, 2011 at 3:48 pm #

    As an old nurse married to an old doctor, glad I’m not the only one who avoids physician offices! For your weak immune system, take probiotic pearls every day. The majority of your body’s immunity is directly related to the health of your gut. Bottom line: they work! Extra benefit – you don’t need a prescription or a visit to a doctor’s office to buy them. Woo Hoo!

  14. Sandra Bell Kirchman October 8, 2011 at 6:16 pm #

    God, Belle, you’re funny. Now that I’ve (finally) stopped laughing, I can honestly say that I don’t mind my GP so much; he’s an all right guy and usually quite helpful. However, specialists are another kettle of antibiotics altogether.

    One of them screamed at a friend of mine and told her flat out all her troubles were caused by being too fat; another told me that if I needed a procedure I had told him I was allergic to, I would have to have it and then maybe go on dialysis (I told him the procedure seriously affected my kidneys from previous experience); a third one is as nice as you’d want but so disorganized I have trouble communicating with their office at times.

    I won’t mention the one who nearly killed me by prescribing an overdose of certain drugs because he hadn’t checked the drugs I was already taken (who questions a specialist?). My kidneys started failing almost right away, and my GP doc had me in the hospital so fast it made my head spin.

    However, the biggest thing I related to was the optician. Here I thought I was the only one who couldn’t really see a difference. I’d debate and debate and try to answer the question honestly. He got impatient with me so I gave him just any old answer. Furthermore I let him talk me into trifocals, which are instruments of hell specially formulated by the devil.

    Now I can’t wear these $400 glasses and peer myopically at everything. I got myself a $15 pair of reading glasses so at least I can read the labels on the cans.

  15. sonsothunder October 9, 2011 at 1:46 am #

    Wait, can you hold my coffee while I…”SCREEEEAM”!!!
    Oh, now I feel better…

    hey did I tell you about the little old lady I followed out of the church parking lot after last Sunday’s service?.. she had a bumper sticker that read: “Honk if you love Jesus”.. So at the next light I did…and
    she swung around faster than dicks hat band, and shot me the Bird!!!
    Nasty Old Bat… I still love her though, I mean, heck, it was Mama who gave me life anyway…
    Bless You
    paul

  16. Danny Tanner October 9, 2011 at 2:50 am #

    I’m glad I read this post today. I went for my checkup last week. I’m glad I’m not alone in my fears.

  17. Kari @ bite-sized thoughts October 9, 2011 at 3:05 am #

    I’m with you on doctors! I avoid going for as long as possible, and then try and do a few things in one swoop (repeat prescriptions, or whatever) to avoid repeat visits. But I do also find that 1 simple thing turns into something that needs future appointments, and it gets much more time consuming than I would like!

  18. Mandy October 9, 2011 at 3:04 pm #

    Thanks for the like on my blog! I’m actually going to an eye doctor soon, so I’ll be able to live all the fun you wrote about 🙂

    • tinkerbelle86 October 12, 2011 at 9:04 pm #

      Now its been pointed out you will notice IT ALL! 🙂

  19. BrainRants October 9, 2011 at 3:42 pm #

    I dislike dentist visits more than doctor ones. Who the hell likes someone else’s hands in your mouth? Uck.

  20. The Northern Plights October 9, 2011 at 4:41 pm #

    About four years ago I went to the docs feeling a little under the weather, since then I’ve had a double organ transplant..that’s one helluva lesson leanred I can tells yous!

    ~The Dippylomat esq.

  21. philosophermouseofthehedge October 11, 2011 at 10:39 pm #

    Funny, Funny! Loved the “nothing has fallen off so I’m fine” …I’ve taken to telling them “my coat is really shiny, so I guess I’m good.”

  22. Caddo Veil October 13, 2011 at 10:55 pm #

    Oh, I so relate! My doc & I “grew up together”, in a manner of speaking (I was his 1st or 2nd patient when he started his “real” practice)–so we’ve tolerated a lot from each other, but the love & loyalty don’t require a prescription and you can’t beat that. God bless you today, darlin’!

Speak Your Mind.... Laughter is Catching!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: