Life According To Emma Part 2

24 Sep

My darling housemate should have her own arena tour. She comes up with the funniest stuff. You may have read some of her Emma-isms before (and if you haven’t click the link and go back and read them!), but I’m back with some more little gems.

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Emma, while watching debatable horror film Insidious “What’s up with the kid?”

Us “He is on a coma.”

Emma “Did he wake up like that?”

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And for once, one from me! When cooking soup..

Me “I’ve put lots of garlic in it. Not fresh garlic, powdered garlic…….. Do you think that powdered garlic has the same effect on vampires as fresh garlic?”

Emma, in a rare moment of wisdom “I think that would be an actual issue if vampires existed.”

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Me, discussing flab. “I need to get down the gym. My stomach is taking over my life.”

Emma “Well it’s a cross we have to bear. But look at those bazoomas. Amazing. Boobiesboobiesboobies. (Long pause) …. Boobs.” (That’s it settled then, pass me the Jaffa cakes!)

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Emma, to Louise when the baby had fallen asleep on her lap “do you ever think about sticking a can of beer in her hand and taking a photo when she falls asleep like that?!”

Lou “No”.

Emma “I totally would.”

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Emma “I well fancy Seth Rogan”.

Me “Really? Go on…”

Emma “Well, he’s funny. And chubby!”

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Emma “My room is cold.”

Me “Put the radiator on. The heating’s on.”

Emma “Which way do I turn it?”

Me “Well, if its off then the only way it turns.”

The next day I receive an email….

“Hey, I don’ t think my radiator is working. I put the knob on again today and it didn’t even warm up. Weird.”

I replied “It wouldn’t have heat up if the heating wasn’t on. Was the heating on?”

Long radio silence….

“I see.”

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14 Responses to “Life According To Emma Part 2”

  1. wordsfallfrommyeyes September 24, 2011 at 8:31 am #

    Love the sound of your household – sounds buzz :). I watched Insidious too. Wasn’t really a horror film to me, more mysterious.

  2. Team Oyeniyi September 24, 2011 at 9:03 am #

    Emma has strange thought processes…………….

  3. lovelylici1986 September 24, 2011 at 1:30 pm #

    This is great. I LOVE funny I-lived-this-moment quotes!

  4. gojulesgo September 24, 2011 at 3:24 pm #

    Ha ha! If I had to pick a favorite quote from this list, I wouldn’t be able to. …I don’t have to, do I?

  5. prenin September 24, 2011 at 7:57 pm #

    We all need an Emma in our lives!!! 🙂

    Love and hugs!

    Prenin.

  6. sonsothunder September 24, 2011 at 10:14 pm #

    No, Dried Garlic only repels Mosquitoes, and Chefs!!!

  7. fourbluehills September 25, 2011 at 3:33 pm #

    The coma comment had me rolling!

  8. Life After Swimming September 25, 2011 at 4:09 pm #

    Bahaha I love that kind of stuff. My roommates and I are always saying silly things and post the quotes around our house. Inside jokes are the best!

  9. Sandra Bell Kirchman September 25, 2011 at 8:21 pm #

    Emma is priceless. And there is your book subject…Emma and Me. It could either be fiction or non-fiction, but it would be hilarious. Make it an ebook, put it on Amazon and make a fortune!

    @Sonsothunder – Dried Garlic only repels Mosquitoes… Really?

    • tinkerbelle86 September 26, 2011 at 9:33 am #

      hahahah i read this as Marley and Me. I need a coffee

  10. J. A. Robinson September 26, 2011 at 11:43 am #

    Thanks for sharing these! They’re hilarious! Your way of presenting the “Emma-isms” is as funny as what she said.

  11. imagesbytdashfield September 27, 2011 at 3:07 pm #

    Hmmmmmmm now I’m wondering if powdered or granulated garlic would work? What about garlic salt even? Does it have to be fresh or would dried work? 😉

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