My darling housemate should have her own arena tour. She comes up with the funniest stuff. You may have read some of her Emma-isms before (and if you haven’t click the link and go back and read them!), but I’m back with some more little gems.
Emma, while watching debatable horror film Insidious “What’s up with the kid?”
Us “He is on a coma.”
Emma “Did he wake up like that?”
And for once, one from me! When cooking soup..
Me “I’ve put lots of garlic in it. Not fresh garlic, powdered garlic…….. Do you think that powdered garlic has the same effect on vampires as fresh garlic?”
Emma, in a rare moment of wisdom “I think that would be an actual issue if vampires existed.”
Me, discussing flab. “I need to get down the gym. My stomach is taking over my life.”
Emma “Well it’s a cross we have to bear. But look at those bazoomas. Amazing. Boobiesboobiesboobies. (Long pause) …. Boobs.” (That’s it settled then, pass me the Jaffa cakes!)
Emma, to Louise when the baby had fallen asleep on her lap “do you ever think about sticking a can of beer in her hand and taking a photo when she falls asleep like that?!”
Emma “I totally would.”
Emma “I well fancy Seth Rogan”.
Me “Really? Go on…”
Emma “Well, he’s funny. And chubby!”
Emma “My room is cold.”
Me “Put the radiator on. The heating’s on.”
Emma “Which way do I turn it?”
Me “Well, if its off then the only way it turns.”
The next day I receive an email….
“Hey, I don’ t think my radiator is working. I put the knob on again today and it didn’t even warm up. Weird.”
I replied “It wouldn’t have heat up if the heating wasn’t on. Was the heating on?”
Long radio silence….