Flabber Forecast ~ The Wobble Watch

19 Sep

My housemate and I have a never ending good intention to eat better and go to the gym more. The only problem is that it is often discussed while sitting on the sofa in front of a film, eating chocolate or ice-cream. Or dips and chips. Or anything that might cause flabber to think that we are suitable resting places!

This weekend was one of those occasions. I cooked a hangover roast dinner for all the waifs and strays that were gathered in our flat, and while cooking the boys went out and picked up DVDs and snacks for an afternoon bedded into the flat, dozing and eating. Good shout.

While polishing off ice-cream, after eating a massive roast, dips, chips, the first and second wave of chocolate delights and some millions, my housemate commented “I really need to go to the gym this week.” Right. Bad time to discuss it really. Too full to think about it. We mooted it briefly, and then dismissed it as madness, choosing to watch a few more films, eat more food and contemplate drawing on the face of the poor hung over boy that fell asleep on the sofa. My kindness (for once) prevailed. He escaped face-graffiti free. And better be grateful!

This morning she brought me a cup of tea (a ritual I have come to love since moving in with one of my best friends. She knows the ‘not quite awake enough to function’ mode that I have before ten am and aims to deal with it swiftly) and asked me if I wanted to go swimming tomorrow. I agreed, but am genuinely concerned that if I get too close to the water edge I may indeed sink.

Here comes my point. We have been secretly surveying a poll of men who come in and out of our flat for a period of a few months (makes it sound like a brothel. I mean our male friends thank you very much) and it seems that a fundamental difference between men and women is that men have more willpower. Faced with some cheese or carbs in the week, the boy folk amongst us will say “no thank you, I’m good in the week” whereas us who belong to the fairer (and chubbier) sex will say “ah go on then, but after that I’m definitely avoiding brie for the ENTIRE week!” My question is why can you not buy willpower on eBay? Me and Emma would be the first in the queue for some of that, and pay well over the odds! I have a love/hate relationship with exercise; when I get into the swing of going I become obsessive and gymmy, eating only stir-fries and cottage cheese and indulging in yoga, boxercise and all the other joyful delights of the gym. But I haven’t been in ages, and right now I can think of a million and one things that I need to do over going (organise knicker drawer into colour areas and ball up socks? Definitely. Clean the fridge with a wet wipe? Of course!)

If I don’t get myself motivated to go again this week then I’m just going to accept defeat and cancel my gym membership. This thought crosses my mind regularly, and something forces me to go for a run, meaning that that half an hour on the treadmill is costing me £25 a month. Fabulous!! Probably should address the half packet of biscuits in my drawer in the office first though. To avoid the temptation later in the week and all that!


21 Responses to “Flabber Forecast ~ The Wobble Watch”

  1. egills September 19, 2011 at 11:41 am #

    Cancel the membership as soon as you do you’ll start going again. ( She says munching her way through more mini cheddars then neccessary )

  2. advizor54 September 19, 2011 at 1:16 pm #

    My wife and I were sitting in front of the television folding laundry and wondered out loud why we weren’t able to lose any weight. We both looked down at our empty ice cream bowls and laughed and decided that we either needed to do less laundry, or cut out the ice cream we ate everytime we folded it. With a love of clean clothes, the ice cream had to go…

    Stick with the gym, get back to boxercise, and then organize the knickers…

  3. andy1076 September 19, 2011 at 1:27 pm #

    Just need to make it a part of your routine for a couple of days and the next, it then becomes a habit that will motivate you towards eating healthy 🙂 just need to have faith that you can do it! 🙂

  4. zendictive September 19, 2011 at 1:29 pm #

    strenghten the body, sharpen the mind and enrich the spirit
    (~_~) the way I excercise is to take advantage of commercials while watching TV, during one commercial I’ll do push-ups, during anothr jumping jacks and so on. Also while watching a show I’ll sit on the floor and stretch to stay limber. Multi- tasker that I am (grin)

  5. Melissa's Meanderings September 19, 2011 at 1:37 pm #

    I don’t even want to think about the $55 dollar a month membership that I haven’t used in 2 years!!

  6. brainrants September 19, 2011 at 2:04 pm #

    You might be on to something here, but I’d say men’s willpower decreases over time. I used to work out religiously; now I think about it intensely.

  7. T Hollis September 19, 2011 at 3:16 pm #

    Don’t give up! Never give up! Your health & future depend on you making the conscious choice to move your body. One thing that helps, find a friend to workout with you who will encourage you to better choices. If all your friends are out of shape and overweight…time to get some new friends!

    • tinkerbelle86 September 19, 2011 at 3:25 pm #

      hahaha….. ill keep those comments to myself. they are definately not, its a bit of an exaggeration 🙂

  8. prenin September 19, 2011 at 3:39 pm #

    I’ve been on a diet for some time now.

    On the plus side I lost 16.3Lbs. But on the negative side I haven’t lost anything for the past two months so I am buying in only diet food and being VERY brave!

    I admit I need fruit in my diet, but I end up throwing half of it away because it was rotten BEFORE I LEFT THE SHOP and I hate waste.

    Exercise isn’t possible because of my bad joints, so I eat less and drink lots of tea without sugar, or carefully rationed fruit juice.

    The problem is the medication: It is a ‘Grand Tranquilliser’ which shuts down the brain and also stimulates hunger while reducing the carb burning metabolism to a shadow of its former self.

    In short I am fat and I hate myself, make myself sick from starvation and STILL the weight wobbles between 115 and 116Kg depending on when I weigh myself…

    All I can do is be patient and eat set meals at set times in the hope the Adipose Tissue will simply walk away…

    Love and wobbly hugs!


    • tinkerbelle86 September 19, 2011 at 4:51 pm #

      right. stop with the starvation for a start!!
      eat lots of soup and cottage cheese. the key is to get as much prootien into your diet and when you hit your bodys proein factor you will find it easier to lose.
      i know the rules, im just bad at sticking at them! plus its more in our heads than on the scales. we are fantastic just the way we are!! etc etc 🙂

  9. Kernut the Blond September 19, 2011 at 6:12 pm #

    I had a gym membership and didn’t use it for a whole year before canceling it. I only canceled it because I moved to a place with a gym – mere steps from my door.

    I didn’t use it, either.

    Recently I’ve lost about 10 pounds by doing two simple, non-exercisy things: no dairy (the casein in it makes you crave more dairy, as was the design for calves who need to grow fast), and no or VERY little TV. I’m convinced TV has conditioned me to “feeling hungry” even when I’m not. Maybe it’s the food commercials, or the subliminal programming, or just a lifetime of eating in front of it. I’ve developed a Pavlovian response.

    Just try giving up dairy for a week, or two weeks. You will feel so much better! I sure did.

  10. Coleen September 19, 2011 at 9:12 pm #

    I find that my male friends have some willpower over their eating, but not as much over frivilous purchases. Maybe possessing two X chromosomes makes weight sets and video games resistible, but brie one’s downfall.

  11. barkinginthedark September 19, 2011 at 9:43 pm #

    Laura, good to learn u don’t rise before 10 am…very civilised…i am a 10:30 to 11 am man myself…but i do use the gym ( 3 or 4 x a week) it’s also a convenient excuse to eat all the stuff i like – works for me…continue…

  12. gojulesgo September 19, 2011 at 11:01 pm #

    I was going to say that I know exactly how you feel, but all I keep thinking about is the fact that you mentioned brie. Brie…sigh. Triple cream… I could live off of cheese and booze. I mean, seriously, I have a reputation. People give me cheese-themed things as gifts. (To which I usually respond, “Great. Now where’s the hooch?”)

    • pegoleg September 21, 2011 at 5:53 pm #

      Me too! Seems every fall off the diet-truck lately involves good cheese and wine.

      Have you tried Brie En Croute? Spread a wheel of brie with jam (apricot for sweet, pepper jam for more savory), wrap in puff pastry and bake. Yum!

  13. K.Just.Call.Me.K September 20, 2011 at 3:15 am #

    Willpower is lost on me too. I can’t not say no to food. Especially chocolate…or spicy food, yummy! I think the problem is that people shut out the bad food for good, instead of limiting their portions. So they never last long with eating just healthy foods. I’ve gotten better at portion control, but god, when that time of the month rolls around…I will eat you out of your house.

  14. duncanr September 20, 2011 at 11:38 am #

    Just the thought of exercising is enough to make me break into a sweat !

  15. pegoleg September 21, 2011 at 5:54 pm #

    Don’t cancel. The mere fact of keeping the gym membership is keeping a certain amount of flab away – it’s science.

  16. Team Oyeniyi September 22, 2011 at 10:42 am #

    Not reading this – will make me guilty about not going to the gym and wasting my membership……………

    • tinkerbelle86 September 22, 2011 at 10:45 am #

      ahahahah. thats pretty much the content of my post 🙂

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