What Goes Down Must Come Up ~ Or Is It The Other Way??

24 Aug

Sometimes the most haunting or memorable words come from the darkest of places. I mean one of my most popular posts was the one about the aftermath of watching ‘Yes Man’ and meeting up with my first boyfriend for a drink (if you think this is a bad idea then you wouldn’t be the only one, and yes, it was a horrible idea. It’s not really Jim Carrey’s fault either. Its mine. And yes, you would also be right in thinking that sometimes I am a sucker for punishment, and you are watching a train wreck about to happen, over and over).

It seems that when I am at my most fragile and tempestuous, I write the best stuff. Whether that’s because I am channelling my inner Victor Meldrew or because discontent is behind the words I don’t know, but what I do know is you guys are suckers for applauding a girl when she’s down! My posts have been a little lacklustre recently, but I have been in a good place thanks to the introduction to my world of a larger than life personality with a sense for the amusing and a rare and unusual temperament, a caring soul who I would have done anything for. Not like me, I hear you cry! Well, quite.

And as they say, people come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. I’m not sure where this one fits in but like every season the leaves must change, and for whatever reason they have fallen. They go through those beautiful colours; the oranges and reds of the autumn, until they fall to the ground, dead and done with. Part of me thinks that Mother Nature was a woman scorned, and she punishes us with the dark days and cold nights of winter, to prove to us that you can have the glorious and hazy summer days, but then they must be ripped for you like a plaster off a wound, so you can fully appreciate it when the buds push up through the earth signalling the arrival of spring.

Simple. Sim – puhl, meaning not elaborate, artificial, unaffected, unassuming. Not complicated.

Apparently not. Nothing in my life is ever simple, and I think that times are often sent to test us, to make us prove that we are stronger than we think. Don’t get me wrong, on a scale of mass murder and organised crime there is nothing terrible going on in my life, but I have that feeling that I need to get moving and forget my ideals and thought processes. It seems to me that in a time when you never get something for nothing, wanting a life that is simple is never going to happen. I just want things to go without a hitch for one time. Just one! But I often get the feeling that what I want isn’t the path I have been given, so I need to stitch up the holes, patch the battle wounds and get back up again. I feel a bit like a zombie in a computer game; destined to always get back up with a groan and get on with it but to look a little worse for wear and like I need a good rest. It feels a little like recently; although I am still bouncing back a bit of the spring has gone, and like a tired old mattress, if you jump on me you might feel the floor rather than springing off to the ceiling.

I’m going to play the lottery tonight. And then I’m going to go home and channel all my energy into wishing upon a star, and maybe one day soon the pieces of the puzzle might just fall into place. But I lucked out on puzzle delivery; when some other people stood in line and received the My Little Pony one, I got the magic eye. You know the one where all the pieces look the same and you can’t work out what goes where? Well that’s just me all over!

(you wouldn’t want to look at that with a hangover now would you?!)

So when you see me on the news holding the massive paper cheque, being all smug at my win be pleased for me. I promise I will buy a house somewhere fantastic and let you all stay in it for free. After all, the catharsis of the written word and the pleasure I get from the support you people give will not go unnoticed, sometimes when you feel the worst people who cannot put a face to your name lift your spirits the most and turn the light back on in the darkness of a foul mood.

Or the helpful comments of a friend who is always there to pick me up at my most miserable.

“Don’t worry Tink. You might feel bad, but at least you aren’t stationed in Germany eating sausage and singing folk tunes.”

There is always that.

10 Responses to “What Goes Down Must Come Up ~ Or Is It The Other Way??”

  1. LittleMissVix August 24, 2011 at 12:24 pm #

    Good luck for the lottery!! It took me ages to learn how to do or see (?!) the magic eye pictures – there was a real craze for them when we were younger, don’t see them anywhere now!

  2. Megan August 24, 2011 at 1:03 pm #

    Hang in there chickadee … you know we’ve got your back & will.be here through it all. In recent months I’ve “lost” some people I thought I was close with due to the whole job loss and was encouraged & supported the most through these struggles by none other than my blogging friends. Xoxox

    As for the puzzle … I have written about this several times and Eliz wrote a comment that really struck home with me. She asked if it was really important to find all the pieces right now. Well, no. I don’t … even though I believe I am beyond ready to have my puzzle completedin its entirety doesn’t mean I HAVE to figure out all the pieces now in this very moment.

    Good luck with the lotto… I want dibs on being the first to stay at your new place! 🙂

    • tinkerbelle86 August 24, 2011 at 1:32 pm #

      if i win the lottery Megan i’m putting you straight on a plane to london! and you can help me work out how to spend the rest 🙂

  3. Ginger August 24, 2011 at 1:07 pm #

    You put into words exacty how I feel and viewmy life, you bottled them all up and put them into this wonderful sadly touching post. I hope you find peace and happiness in life, and please know you are not alone in the craving and missing out on those very things.

  4. planetross August 24, 2011 at 2:32 pm #

    “Nothing in my life is ever simple”

    If life was simple, we’d all be sunflowers … sitting there in the sun with a pile of seeds … not caring what happened to them … drinking alcoholic beverages.

    I like life the way it is … a big jumply surprise … it keeps me on my toes … or my feet at least … or waiting for my next feat.

  5. Kay aka Babygirl August 24, 2011 at 5:37 pm #

    I agree.. Life is always here to test us but you have to overcome the obstacles to get what’s waiting for you. Life isn’t simple.. but it’s soo worth it. Loved this post.

  6. Rach @ This Italian Family August 24, 2011 at 7:47 pm #

    Haha! So true, you could be in Germany eating sausages. Next time I’m down I’ll remember that. Good luck with the lottery!

  7. suitablefish August 26, 2011 at 1:24 am #

    Love this post! Thanks for visiting my blog so I could find you out. Timely too, with the loss of my snoozle, snuggle, waggy, the swimminest lovin’ black dog pal companion: “And as they say, people come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.”

  8. the Incurable Curmudgeon September 2, 2011 at 6:39 pm #

    reading your stuff…i think you’ve PLENTY of spring left…and lots more good writing to come. u r thoughtful and wise beyond your years – i think. continue…

  9. CarlyBeth's Blog September 9, 2011 at 4:35 am #

    I love this! You Definitely evoked some emotions!

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