Green Fingers

29 Jul

If you have ever stumbled across this blog before then you may have read that I am particularly excellent at killing things (I’m talking about plants, not actual living breathing things, just so we are all aware). It’s not something I have ever practiced or endeavoured to become good at, it’s more a bit of a failing on my part. But in my head the thought of living in a little country cottage* and growing all my own vegetables is particularly appealing, so I have an urban flat with a row of herb pots on the window sill.

The problem with this is that I struggle to keep anything alive. (LouLouBelle, if you are reading, this might be why I am so reluctant to give Poppy a bottle!) My housemates thought it was a joke when I said that I thought I had kept one basil plant alive for nearly a year, but subsequently found that ex boyfriend was nipping to the shops and replacing it for me every time it died. There I was thinking I had grown as a person and learnt to nurture something else, and that I had healing hands as I had managed to resurrect it when it looked a little poorly, when all the time he had shares in Sainsbury’s and was replacing it on a bi weekly basis. Bugger.

“it can’t be that bad” they said. “you have a tendency for over exaggeration to make something funny!” (Me, NEVER!) “I’m sure it will live.”

A few weeks later, Emma said “you do know you have to water it, don’t you?” yes thank you, I do. I reeled off something about watering  it a little but it being a Mediterranean plant so needing only a little water, to which she revealed she too had been watering it so we had possibly both been unwittingly part of an evil plot to kill it via drowning.

It rallied around (unless one of them replaced it) and then on Sunday I bought a new one. I feel bad, like I was prematurely wishing basil plant version one to the grave, but it did look like it was on the path to recycling.  It then became part of a life saving operation after Emma felt that it needed all the dead leaves removing to give it a change to have a new lease of life. Like giving it its very own positive mental attitude. The poor plant now looks sad and naked, but we are hoping that it will get a new lease of life and become the burgeoning leafy plant that it once was.

My mum reckons you should talk to plants, but there is no way I’m talking to my scrawny little basil plant, thank you very much!

*yes I know. I’ve tried it once and it failed spectacularly. But I like to attribute this to the wrong choice of man, rather than the wrong choice of cottage, kitten or pant to grow in the garden. After all I became a bit of a garden goddess (something my mother threatened to have a heart attack over) and was often found watering things, or waiting for my mum to come round and tend to the ailing greenery.


13 Responses to “Green Fingers”

  1. Charlotte Callin July 29, 2011 at 9:54 am #

    That picture of the little boy with his hands on his head is priceless 🙂 xx

  2. Julia (AKA Jules) July 29, 2011 at 10:10 am #

    hah, great story. I’m crap at growing plants. I was going to do strawbs this year but in the end I couldn’t be bovvered. Story of my life?

  3. Vix @ LittleMissEverything July 29, 2011 at 10:10 am #

    Hehe I also have a dream about living in a cute cottage in the country although I’d be worried about the distance to the shops 🙂 I leave the gardening to mum else I’d probably be like you and kill everything, I reckon gardening skills improve in direct correllation with age – one day soon you’ll be at the garden centre every weekend 🙂

  4. egills July 29, 2011 at 10:14 am #

    Um.. if your basil keeps wilting it needs much more water, although it is a Mediterranean plant it needs lots of sun and lots of water ( and preferably no drafts ). Try giving it a good feed with some tomato feed and keep watering it twice or three times a day.
    I’m hopless at keeping house plants alive but my garden thrives 🙂

  5. Renee Mason July 29, 2011 at 3:21 pm #

    I just discovered your blog. Hilarious! But really, what a sweet boyfriend to keep replacing the dying basil!

    • tinkerbelle86 July 29, 2011 at 4:01 pm #

      Ex-boyfriend. So all sweetness now remains null and void 🙂

  6. prenin July 29, 2011 at 3:29 pm #

    I had a friend Diane (now long dead of cancer) who had a son, Mark, and a daughter, Nikki.

    Mark was an all-around Bad Lad, a liar, a druggy and a thief before he left school.

    When he failed to repay a heroin supplier he sent round two lads to beat Mark up as a warning to others not to cross him.

    There are two stories as to what happened: That the Police were watching Mark and arrested him and the thugs, while the other said they beat him up and left Diane hogtied until she was found two days later, Mark having run off to save his own hide.

    Last heard, the Mallinsons (Bane of my existence) were living with Nikki and are now being treated for drug addiction.

    Mark turned up at my place one day and we were talking about herbs.

    Out of devilment I told Mark Basil was a narcotic and he immediately dubbed it ‘Bahzeel’.

    Not surprisingly he stole my bottle of the dried herb and set about selling it to his druggy mates – when it failed to have the effect he claimed they beat him up…

    Amazing what people will believe…

    Love and hugs!


  7. lou July 29, 2011 at 8:35 pm #

    Oh Tink you make me laugh, I now do understand why you haven’t been very forthcoming in feeding Poppy, the bottle of water seems easier than the milk! I do feel so honoured as well when myself or my beautiful girls are mentioned and it makes my day! Although I love all your blogs I read them to mum too she likes them as well!

    Love you lots xxx

    • tinkerbelle86 August 3, 2011 at 8:04 pm #

      ah i love you two. i promise not to kill disney baby. i love her so ill try super hard 🙂

  8. happydancecat July 29, 2011 at 10:42 pm #

    I can relate, I’m a plant killer too. That cottage looks divine, but I could never really be bothered with all the weeding and tending and whatever else must go on to maintain it. The solution is simply to become rich enough to afford a gardener to do it for you. Lets work on that.


  9. Team Oyeniyi July 30, 2011 at 11:44 am #

    My mother used to say talk to plants too!!! Like you I can’t grow anything!

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