I think my mind is like a little child that is over excited and needs some sort of stimulation at all times. This is a worry, as it would be lovely to get home from work and chill out in the bath, or watch a programme without the phone in one hand and a nail file in the other. But I can’t. I just can’t switch off.
Take yoga for example. All the ladies in their twinsets of baby blue and charcoal grey look serene as they bend and flex, and as the instructor says “lie on the ground and sink into your being. Imagine your chakra levitating above your body, and feel the cleansing relaxation as you breathe deeply in and out”.
This is what happens in my head.
Me “right, we can do this.”
Brain “what the chuff is a chakra? And what are you having for dinner? Because there are some vegetables in the fridge that need using up, and you hate throwing stuff away. Ooh, I wonder how the girl’s days have been? And I wonder if that annoying lady over there is successfully levitating her chakra?”
It happens all the time. The worse scenario was today in Boots, when my toddler mind took over, and my adult head was missing in action, probably still perusing the flowers in the florist up the road. I went in to pick up a single nail varnish to go with a friend’s birthday present, and spent twenty quid.
When I came out, adult brain came metaphorically running up the road, grabbed the receipt out of my hand and assessed the damage. “why did you buy all that?!” she ranted “did you really need three nail varnishes for yourself, three bottles of deodorant that are so big you’ll need years to get through them and a load of shower gel in pretty bottles?”
“Well,” I justified,” the shower gel was pretty and if you bought three of the deodorants you got a free nail varnish!” (triumph)
Adult mind “why did you buy three other ones for actual money then?”
The worst is when I am alone in the flat. My adult mind loves the thought of this, but my child mind takes over. “lalalala, all alone in the flat, lalala.” Fantastic, I think, I can watch TV, do my nails, clean the kitchen and not have someone leave a spoon in on my freshly wiped work surfaces (turns out I’m a kitchen nutter) and then have a bath and not worry about someone needing the loo. FAB!!
Half an hour later, after cleaning the kitchen, hoovering my floor, talking to the rabbit, walking around aimlessly and making myself a cup of tea….
Text message to housemate… “What are you doing? Are you home soon? I’m all by myyyyysssseeeellllf and im booooooooooooooored!!”