In my rant about Russell Brand the other day, I forgot to mention one of the most important things that I took from watching it. He made the point that his life consisted of embarrassing things happening to him, and then him coming on stage and regaling them back to everyone, for their amusement.
Sort of like this blog really!
So I thought that I would shake it up. Kinda like a show and tell. Lets all get involved, I’ll go first.
So todays topic is ‘weak at the knees’. This particular mind dump was brought about by my housemate coming home last night (I will not reveal which one) and telling me about a guy at work. “When he looked at me I went weak at the knees!” she said.
Weak at the knees. There is no dictionary definition for this, and every girl gets it different. Do guys get it? Input please men. But thanks to feminism, global warming and rising oil costs, it’s not something you see very often. All I know is that ‘weak at the knees’ situations often mean you are doomed.
I can document four occasions where I have actually gone weak at the knees. And im not your fainting, easily won over kind of girl. So here goes. Names have been changed (no, really?!) as I think at least one of the cases have stumbled across my blog before, citing me to be a ‘grumpy old man’. Nice.
Case 1 – The Waffle.
I worked in a pub. I thought I had met all the people I would be on shifts with, until day seven. I had heard the waffle talked about, but that day I was merrily putting away glasses, when I heard someone come up and introduce themselves. I turned, and dropped two perfectly good glasses (sadly this isn’t a joke and I got the typical jeering from the punters). Boom. Weak at the knees. I had met the waffle. Needless to say we went out for a few months; working shifts, getting takeaways, watching DVDs, talking on the net when he was back in his homeland. I was slightly addicted to the haunted musician thing, and he broke my heart. A little. He pops up every now and again, and I still slightly adore him, in a i-know-i-am-crazy-girls-LEAVE-ME-ALONE!!! Way.
Case 2 – The Shoe Stealer.
The shoe stealer, half Spanish, half Portuguese, all douchebag. I met him on the first day at a new job and he said “wow, a normal one, thank god. Want a coffee?” boom. Weak at the knees. He was a total arse, and I was living with my ex at the time, so we existed in a sort of ill listen to your stories and think you are an idiot, and give you a girl opinion way, all the while being weak at the knees. I left the job, we stayed friends, and then when I split up with my ex we went out a few times, he stole my shoes, I haven’t seen him since, blah blah blah. In fact me and Emma saw him on the high street the other day and she commented how desperate he was not to look in our direction. “He was really interested in what was going on in Starbucks, wasn’t he?!”
Case 3 –Surfer Dude
Not much to say on this one. we went to California and my aunt booked us surf lessons. Makeup free and freshly woken we scurried down to the beach and met surfer dude. And he was beautiful. Boom. Weak at the knees. Blonde, surfy, tanned, muscly, hot. It became difficult to say more than “uhhh huhhh” when he asked me anything, and after a while I think he gave up. There is nothing dainty about surfing, and I was concerned about taking my wetsuit off and losing my bikini.
Case 4 – The Lawyer
I’m not going into too much detail on this one. but needless to say any guy who takes it on the chin when you beat him at bowling is a good un. But the moment I went weak at the knees was when he said “I don’t mind but that little girl in the next lane is better than me too, and she is laughing!” Boom. It was a while ago, but every time I talk to Shane I go weak at the knees still. Sometimes it just doesn’t wear off.
Right guys, hit me!!!