I Hate You Mr Brand

28 Jun

The other night, out of politeness, I sat and watched Russell brand’s stand up with my housemates. I normally would have declined, citing tiredness, needing to wash my hair or anything to avoid that stupid man, but I was on my best behaviour as one of the girls had someone round she wanted us to meet. We ate dinner, and then someone suggested Russell Brand. I cursed them under my breath, wishing death on all their friends, including myself if I had to sit and watch that DVD.

I silently gagged myself, trying not to get my famous Brand tourettes, as I quietly went through of all ways I’d happily rather be murdered than have to sit through over an hour of his inane waffle. Gouging eyes out with a spoon, driving off a cliff, falling down a well… they all rated higher.

But no, I sat, and I watched.

My hate for Russell brand is long and enduring, for many reasons.

1) His hair. If I went out of the house with hair like that, I would be stoned, by my friends or by perfect strangers, but I could understand it. I never knew what my mum meant when she said people looked like they had been playing with the electricity mains, but now I see.

2) His voice. He sounds like Little Lord Fauntleroy on crack.

3) His trousers. (I didn’t say they were GOOD reasons, did I?!) They are too tight.

So here is where the entire tapestry of my life began to unfold. I found myself sniggering; quietly so no one would hear. And then chuckling. And then proper belly laughing till my housemates thought I was crazy.

The reason for my dramatic turnaround is thus. He is actually quite intelligent. Once you got past his crude humour at the beginning and he really got going, the man was hilarious. Unlike Al Murray who is just a bit of a dick, or Lee Evans who comes across as being less than the sharpest tool in the box, Russell Brand is self depreciating and amusing.

Seriously, it’s well worth a watch. If you can stomach him calling made up stories “rhubarb”. Because there is no way I’m ever going to be OK with that, but I do think the word hogwash is seriously underused in modern day conversation. Just sayin.

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14 Responses to “I Hate You Mr Brand”

  1. Julia (AKA Jules) June 28, 2011 at 8:10 am #

    urgh, I hate lee evans. I quite like Russell. But, give me michael mcintyre anyday!! (After seeing him at BGT, I though he was brilliant!)
    x

    • tinkerbelle86 June 28, 2011 at 10:46 am #

      im with you, Lee Evans sucks. my ex used to make me watch him. so not cool.

  2. prenin June 28, 2011 at 8:22 am #

    After that radio show business with the other arch dickhead Johnathan Woss I lost all interest in Russel Brand.

    Yes, he CAN be funny, but I just can’t stand him…

    God Bless!

    Prenin.

  3. imonthebandwagon June 28, 2011 at 9:00 am #

    VVVVVVERY close to us falling out then Tink, you redeemed yourself at the end. Russell Brand is brilliant! I wil agree he looks ridiculous, BUT he is just on another level of wittyness. We have met him once or twice at award shows and the like, he is a very funny bloke. I hate him slightly for taking katy perry off the market, but meh, what can ya do?

    • tinkerbelle86 June 28, 2011 at 10:20 am #

      ahahhahaha. pulled it back. thank god.
      yep, thats why you arent married to her, right? cos she is off the market. lol 🙂

  4. imonthebandwagon June 28, 2011 at 10:25 am #

    Well didn’t want to loose you’re core fans did you!
    eeeeexactly! I was so close! I will let Russell have this one 🙂

  5. egills June 28, 2011 at 10:27 am #

    Nope I’d rather bleach my eyes than listen to the man for 2 seconds – sorry I just can’t stand him.. he makes my skin crawl.
    I like Michael McIntyre.. he really makes me laugh, Tim Minchin is fab – and excellent live as is Jack Dee 😀

  6. Vix @ LittleMissEverything June 28, 2011 at 12:39 pm #

    I’m not a massive fan of watching stand up shows as usually it’s kind of amusing but not out loud laughing. I like Russell in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he basically plays the person you think he is. Even so Katy Perry could do better 🙂

    • tinkerbelle86 June 28, 2011 at 12:41 pm #

      im starting to think she might be on to something. although he is so girly!!

  7. Purple Chimp June 28, 2011 at 1:10 pm #

    I hate the Brand & Ross combo, much as I enjoy Brand’s um brand of humour I hate the way Ross tries to act cool. He reminds me of the way teenagers see their dad’s as embarassingly loud gormless louts. Always trying to impress his audience with how cool and hip he is. God I hate Johnathon Ross.

    Oh Noel Fielding and Brand make a good comedy duo.

  8. woohooitsdave June 28, 2011 at 2:01 pm #

    I was the same with Brand, the guy is a bit of a dick but very clever so I forgive him for it. Lee Evans can be really funny, if you ignore the ocean of sweat he seems to soak himself in 2 minutes after getting on stage. McIntyre is just dull now though – he started off as something different, just like Peter Kay and now just reuses the same old stuff, again just like Peter Kay.

  9. twindaddy June 29, 2011 at 1:53 am #

    I think Brand is hilarious, although he sometimes goes off on rants that make no sense at all.

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