Supermarket Sweep

7 Jun

I’m first of all going to apologise to anyone reading this who isn’t English, because you won’t truly be able to feel my pain, but it’s something I really need to get off my chest.

How come Tesco attracts all the complete weirdos and reprobates? If you go to Sainsbury’s or Waitrose you don’t get accosted by a chav trying to borrow a fiver, or mowed down by some middle aged man who feels that his trolley needs to be exactly where your standing at that split second.

No. You get civilised people doing their shopping. Yes, admittedly you get a baby screaming or an old lady dawdling, but it’s a free world and you have to suck up the annoyance of anyone preventing you from doing a mad trolley dash and trying to get out of the hell hole as quickly as possible, relatively unharmed.

But Tesco is a whole other kettle of fish. It may be that it is open twenty-four hours but other than that I can give no reason. The one in town is in a bad area, but then the superstore one I went to with the girls this weekend is about fifteen miles away, so that can’t be it. But my god, they were all out. Maybe it’s like moths to a flame; the blue and red might entice them, but we could have been in there all day, consumed by people milling about and ramming their trolleys into our legs. After about forty-five minutes of meal planning and talking the girls out of putting things in the trolley that we didn’t need (“oooooooh…. do you think we need salt and pepper shakers in the shape of Easter bunnies? For Easter?” NO PUT IT DOWN AND BACK AWAY!!!)

I had acquired a glazed look and my eyes were darting around, looking for the first precipice to lob myself off. I abandoned the girls to double back for some tomato puree and an old man collared me and started to tell me why you had to buy Heinz beans instead of own brand. Then a woman banged her trolley into me when I was completely stationary and had the cheek to tut, as if I had leapt in her way in some evil kenevel stunt to try to take my own life, and when I got back the girls were discussing fish fingers (“shall we get some?” “When was the last time you had a fish finger, or even wanted one?” “About ten years ago!” “Then no, I don’t think fish finger completely falls into the ‘need’ pile. Put them back”) honestly, I felt like their mum, but when we got to the till and spend close to two hundred pounds (who knew loo roll and washing powder cost so much!!) they were pleased for my dictator style no-ing.

When I got home, I needed a lie down. After we put the three million bags of shopping away, of course.


14 Responses to “Supermarket Sweep”

  1. Julia (AKA Jules) June 7, 2011 at 9:52 am #

    oh my. I hate shopping. Never go to Tesco (there isn’t one near me!) so I don’t feel your pain….. not at the moment, anyway.

  2. mairedubhtx June 7, 2011 at 11:17 am #

    Grocery shopping is the same here in the States. I avoid it when at all possible. It is truly a nightmare.

  3. prenin June 7, 2011 at 12:38 pm #

    Aaah the joys of shopping – NOT!!! LoL!!!

    At least you have shopping sense – my step-dad would buy coal if it was on offer and he has central heating!!! 🙂

    Love and hugs!


  4. Foxy June 7, 2011 at 5:21 pm #

    Haha oh man, that sounds so frustrating! Grocery shopping is difficult enough without having tons of people coming up to you with their suggestions – I totally feel for you!

  5. Rach June 7, 2011 at 5:26 pm #

    Wow, this sounds just like Walmart, haha. Sorry you’ve had to deal with this!

  6. ryoko861 June 7, 2011 at 5:26 pm #

    I think I know what you mean. Is Tesco’s the more “popular” food venue for shopping? The one with lower prices compared to others? We have a similar situation in my area of Pennsylvania. Wegmans is a “classier” place to shop. Not that the prices are any cheaper, on some items they are, but it has an “air” about it. Now Giant stores have more variety, are more widespread around the area, and people tout that they have lower prices. Hence, it brings out the “weirdos” so to say. The lower class. The “I married my sister and only have two teeth” class. And it’s always everyone else’s fault. They do no wrong.

    I shop at Wegmans, not because I think I’m better, but I don’t need to get into scuffles in the mayonaise isle. Bad enough I have to deal with the local senior center drop offs who think they’re the only ones in the store and park their cars smack dab in the middle of the isle. AND STAND THERE! LOOKING AT THEIR SHOPPING LIST with about 5 items on it. Really, how much could you possible need living at a senior center?

    Great blog post! I can SO relate to it!

    Thanks for stopping by mine! Come back soon for part two!

  7. ababynanny June 7, 2011 at 5:44 pm #

    That’s so funny!!! In the states, we have a huge joke, about a food store called Walmart, it’s a big chain, with the lowest prices, maybe you are familiar. Lots of people hate it because it elbows out competition and small businesses and supposedly mistreats it’s workers, hires immigrants, etc. Well all across the country they attract less than classy people and there is even a website devoted to snapping a picture while you’re in their and posting it to make fun of what people wear 😦 I always hear people say they see people beating their kids in Walmart but I’ve never seen it, and I’ve been there in the middle of the night too lol

  8. theamberlight June 7, 2011 at 5:44 pm #

    We have a similar phenom here in the MidWest US with the grocery chain Kroger. No matter the city, no matter the area of town, it is always frequented by the people who have very little social skill or presence of mind. Shoppingis a must do only for me and the higher the prices go the more I want to get my own farm! Fun post!

  9. samuraiboy June 7, 2011 at 5:52 pm #

    we have the equivalent of Tesco here in SA, called Pick and Pay – and they have similar ”heel ramming” trolley drivers, but it only seems to happed around payday – when everyone is losing their minds and sprinting to spend all their monthly earnings.

    Noted that fishfingers are old school, but I will vouch for the fact that they do the trick when the frigde is running empty… 🙂

  10. My BlogJect June 7, 2011 at 7:39 pm #

    Hmmm.. Tesco. I do get it, but I now wonder on your feelings on Asda? or dare I say it… Netto?
    Great post!
    Do what I do – shop online!

  11. Redneckprincess June 8, 2011 at 5:35 am #

    We have a store in Canada called Superstore that is the same…hate shopping there. I go to a store called Save-on-foods…far more civilized 🙂

  12. Sandra Bell Kirchman June 8, 2011 at 3:59 pm #

    I do love your sense of humor. I have to admit the first couple of paragraphs sounded like you were talking another language, but after that it was all perfectly understandable. Honestly, you should write a novel, or a series of short stories, under the collective name of “The Two Girls…and Me.” I’m still chuckling.

    • tinkerbelle86 June 8, 2011 at 4:49 pm #

      thanks sandra, im sure there will be more as we go along!!

  13. egills June 9, 2011 at 10:31 am #

    Ah the hell that is the weekly food shop…..
    I write a list before I even leave the house with the weeks food plans all set out. That way I can zoom in / around / masterfully dodge lunatic trolleys / and clear the tills in a quick a time as possible – only stopping to think at my fav area where I have 10 mins to debate what wine I’m going to hide in the trolley 😉 Oh and leaving Brian in the car with my Kindle is a help too because trying to do the shopping whilst dealing with a grumpy man is never a good thing!
    Luckily we don’t have a big Tesco’s near us, we have Morrisons : : shudder : : or Sainsbury’s.

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