Geordie’s Say The Funniest Things

4 Apr

This weekend I read through some old messages between me and my pet Geordie (the best northern import around) and they made me giggle so I thought I would share.

The Newspaper Incident

me “yep, just opened the paper and slap bang in the middle is (ex) and his new girlfriend!”

Her “what are you reading? rebound weekly???!!!”

Me, mock offended “no, the Guildford times”

Her “………ah right, the local broadsheet.”

Nipplegate

Me “come swimming with me”

Her ” I don’t have a swimsuit.”

Me “not even a bikini??”

Her “no, don’t you remember the Kingston nipple incident of 2009???”

erm, No??

Animal Cruelty

Her, while starting the training for her 5k “argh, just ran into a seagull. im going to be late”

Me “you did what??????????????????”

Her “some child was feeding it and it took off and i. just sort of… collided with it.”

Tick Issues

Me “is a tick sort of squashy?”

Her “depends how much blood is in it. you need to soak it in alcohol.”

Me “TCP???”

Her “if you like but i think that will just make her smell. alcohol.”

Me “I don’t want to hurt her, i tweaked it and now she’s looking at me like i shit on her nan”

Her “you can have a go at surprising it but don’t poke it first”

A few minutes later… “Google says DO NOT SMOTHER IT IN VASELINE!!! so put your giant pot of lube away.”

Man Problems

“its amazing just how disjointed a mans reality can be. I love retarded man sayings. what the hell did you say to that? i presume a really loud PHEW was appropriate?”

Man Problems 2

“What possessed you to do that exactly?”

Me “i had nothing to do and recently watched yes man. i know.”

Her “ahahahahaha!!! the best reason i ever heard! you knob.”

Me “APRIL IM IN TURMOIL AND YOU ARE AMUSED!!!”

and her parting comment on Friday………..

“try not to get married this weekend. you can’t be trusted on your own.”

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10 Responses to “Geordie’s Say The Funniest Things”

  1. Jules April 4, 2011 at 8:08 am #

    i just love the geordie accent. cheryl cole’s accent is just pure lush!! xx

  2. Jules April 4, 2011 at 11:29 am #

    you think so…?! She’s from inner city Newcastle!!! Sure she doesn’t sound like any Byker Grove actor/actress from the early 90s but I can do a good mimick of her (according to my brother!!) xx

  3. prenin April 4, 2011 at 1:45 pm #

    We all need friends like this!!! LoL!!!

    Love and hugs!

    Prenin.

    • tinkerbelle86 April 4, 2011 at 6:58 pm #

      oh no i mean my geordie. shes from gateshead. bit posh

  4. barb19 April 4, 2011 at 8:34 pm #

    I love the Geordie accent – and their sense of humour!

  5. Redneckprincess April 5, 2011 at 1:46 am #

    I love the last one…me either…

  6. Geordie April 6, 2011 at 10:09 pm #

    Firstly, anyone that calls Gateshead “posh” has never been! (guilty!? yes – I think so!) Secondly… I don’t know why all you Southerners think I sound Welsh, yet it seems to be a common theme with everyone I talk to. I just give up!

  7. nigel April 7, 2011 at 7:32 am #

    😀 – Thanks for visiting my blog… going to have a scout through yours now… 🙂

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