Guest Post: If People Could Connect The Dots

1 Apr

In the true spirit of sharing the blog love (and also the lazy spirit of getting slight writers blog) I asked Josiah of Captain Obvious fame to write a guest post for me. And he didn’t fail to deliver, so please read his thoughts on the modern day idiots that blend in so seamlessly amongst us, and enjoy the read. I did!

Love ‘Belle xxx 

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It’s not rocket science people!

At times the human capacity for dullness astounds me. As it’s been said “The speed of light is greater than the speed of sound. That’s why most people appear bright until they open their mouth.” Honestly though… I find mankind’s loss to be my gain. I find it to be the most entertaining thing in the world when someone busts up ten minutes after I told a joke with the infamous words “I just got it!”.

Unfortunately, there has, as of yet, been found no cure for mankind’s slowness and the propensity to be gullible (Note: I’m using this word as a rebel, they actually took “gullible” out of the dictionary. Really, look it up!). While it can be entertaining at times… this is ultimately a bad thing. People believe in the most ridiculous things…

Exhibit A: Take UFOs for instance. According to one poll by the Associated Press, about one third of Americans believe in UFO’s.  That means there are about 100 million people in our country who think that aliens have traversed billions and billions of miles from their home planet just to fly around Earth, kidnap rednecks and leave them naked in random cornfields. To put it in perspective, one third of Americans are NASCAR fans. For real? .(I realize I’m opening up the door for all you foreigners to tell me how much smarter and better you guys are than us… fire at will)

Exhibit B: Astrology. In a nutshell; the belief that the time of year you were born determines your whole path in life, what you SHOULD do, lucky numbers etc and other people you’re ‘compatible’ with. Can you imagine how many people have distanced themselves from people that would’ve otherwise been a good influence because they were the wrong ‘sign’? It’s a deception based around superstition, fear and the idea that a ‘professional’ astrologer can masquerade as a newspaper columnist and control someone’s actions with a single stroke of the pen. Come again? I don’t speak stupid… >.<

Exhibit C: Have any of you ever seen the TV show Psych? It showcases how Shawn Spencer (a hyper observant, self absorbed young man trained by his policeman father) and Berton Guster (a.k.a. “Gus” Shawn’s sidekick with a super smelling nasal capacity). They pass Shawn off as a psychic to the local Santa Barbara Police Department and work their way in. This leads to my third and final exhibition. The fallacy of Psychics. I won’t get into the details but in summary: supposed psychics use observational, psychological, common probability to ‘predict’ events sometimes passing it off as ESP (extra sensory perception). A poll among graduate students at an American college showed 34% believe in psychic phenomena. *Itching forearms* << Sorry I’m allergic to bullshit.

It’s time to wake up, smell the roses, face the music and clean the wax out of our ears (those of you who are mentally or physically challenged when it comes to this kind of multi-tasking, give it your best shot). See, I would include the Big Bang Theory and Evolution as Exhibit D and E but this is a guest post and I’ll save the REAL controversial material for my blog. I’m sure I’m already ruffling enough feathers as it is.

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And for my next invention: The Population Control+Road Painting Combo.
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15 Responses to “Guest Post: If People Could Connect The Dots”

  1. prenin April 1, 2011 at 8:18 am #

    Nice to see somebody as cynical as I am! 🙂

    Good blog!!!

    God Bless!

    Prenin.

  2. n1i2c3o4l5e April 1, 2011 at 9:05 am #

    It is 2 o’clock in the morning and I find your posts very informative. A few more and a go to bed. Thank you for entertaining me along with my insomnia. It is more fun than staring at the ceiling in the dark.

    • tinkerbelle86 April 1, 2011 at 1:50 pm #

      thanks!! (although i cant take credit for this one) 🙂

  3. Joannie April 1, 2011 at 9:46 am #

    Love it, this is brillient and so true. Very worrying also….
    Best of all I remember when I was travelling around America I was told a third of Americans have insurance against Alian Abduction…. My hand goes to the guy who set up the company, you rich genius man.

    • tinkerbelle86 April 1, 2011 at 2:57 pm #

      April fools Jo? or for real? i hate april fools, i fall for everything!!

  4. Joannie April 1, 2011 at 9:47 am #

    Lol didn’t mean to post twice!! Didn’t think it had sent… I was just so excited!
    (doh- know who looks like the idiot!!)

  5. barb19 April 1, 2011 at 10:23 am #

    Great post, and I’m sure you have ruffled some feathers!

  6. egills April 1, 2011 at 12:31 pm #

    ha ha.. great post 🙂
    ( whispers quietly so not to seem too stupid but why has some one painted no parking lines down the middle of the street? )

  7. melissasmeanderings April 1, 2011 at 1:29 pm #

    I’m off to look up alien abduction insurance…surely that can’t really exist??!! But then perhaps I am once again overestimating my fellow Americans!

  8. mairedubhtx April 1, 2011 at 1:38 pm #

    He did a good job, Tinkerbelle. Sometimes life if just too bizarre to be real.

    • tinkerbelle86 April 1, 2011 at 2:56 pm #

      yep yep, boy done good!! glad you all liked it.

  9. Megan April 1, 2011 at 2:40 pm #

    I also don’t speak stupid and am highly allergic to bullshit. Translators for the stupid language are hard to come by and there isn’t enough Benadryl in the world to take care of my allergies to bullshit. Unfortunately I think I attract both throughout my daily interactions. Don’t have time for stupid or energy for bullshit. Nice guest post Josiah…

    • tinkerbelle86 April 1, 2011 at 2:54 pm #

      sadly i often accidently speak stupid…. 🙂
      also, on the subject of stupid, i seem to have accidently changed a setting so that my comments are newest to oldest. i fear change. does anyone want to point me to where i change it back?? god love you all for taking pity 🙂

  10. The Hook April 3, 2011 at 8:02 pm #

    Great post!

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