The Adventures of Belle in
Wonderland Portugal – Part 1
Hey guys, I’m back! Need to take some alone time to read up on all your blogs, but thank you so much to three of my favourites for the blogger awards in my absence!
So here goes part 1-
Got home from work on Friday and luckily Daddyo said he would take me and Emma to Gatwick (hate trains and hate disturbance to my plans. I like to know what I’m doing in advance so I have less to worry about, and I always do the paranoid mum move of checking thirty times that I have my passport, boarding pass and sanity…)
We gathered at the airport, smug that all five of us had successfully made it to the right airport/ terminal/ on the right day (it’s a lot for a girl to deal with and multiply that by five and I’m impressed!) we were all equipped with boarding passes and passports so decided to reward ourselves with a drink on the pub. After all, we were on holiday, right?! Emma did try to leave her debit card at the foreign exchange desk, but other than that we were incident free.
I don’t mind getting asked for ID, but it took my ten minutes to get my beer, after entering into a dialogue with said bar woman who decided to tell me how old she thought I was and how I would be grateful when I was old. Yesyesiknow, pleasecanihavemydrinklady?!
We imbibed said beverages and meandered to the gate. No one was there. “Ooh are we the first” I said to the passport lady, excited about going on holiday enough to try and make conversation with people who clearly had no job satisfaction, my bad. “No, you’re the last” she retorted.
We hurried to the plane, fully aware we wouldn’t be sitting together and suffered the death stares of all the early bird passengers. Choosing my seat wisely I decided to avoid lady with baby, and smugly plumped for an aisle seat next to two men. They were old enough for there to be no worry of them making conversation and staring at my boobs, and young enough that they wouldn’t make OAP conversation about the weather and my destination. Score! I was going to offer additional bonus points if they didn’t know each other either.
How wrong was I?! I’d like to take this moment to point out that I am in no way homophobic and have nothing against gay people, but I had managed to pick the two campest queens this side of Vegas.
For the first ten minutes I was seat belted in to my own private hell; a world where the in joke of making a pterodactyl noise every ten seconds and then falling about laughing, and starting every sentence with “ooooooh” was the norm. My music was in Jo’s bag and she was too far away for me to reach so I endured them ridiculing the air hostess’s nose “oooooh I didn’t think Concorde flew any more” and doing their best Lou and Andy from Little Britain sketches “are we there yet? I need a piss!” Sweet Jesus, I had another two hours of this to go!!
The other girls didn’t fare that well either; Aimee resorted to expensive miniature bottles of sewage wine to get her through and Row got up and moved, so unhappy she was with her choice.
Upon our arrival we found our minibus and smoothly arrived home. Karli and Kay bear were waiting, and we went out for a late wine and dinner. Yum!