Dear Ryan…

26 Mar

So Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansen are getting divorced. Sad news no? No. As my mother would say, patience is a virtue and I have been waiting patiently. Since the Amityville Horror, really.

So Ryan,

I will take one for the team and marry you. Becuase I love you. I will never divorce you (quite frankly I cannot understand why this would be the chosen action once anyone is actually married to you?!) and I will love you forever. When you are grey, and have developed a paunch I will still make your dinner, and I don’t even mind if you go bald. Thats. True. Love.

If you could see it fit to get on a plane to London (maybe Wednesday, im pretty busy for the rest of the week) we can get married and you will never have to suffer the indignity of divorce again. As long as you don’t make me watch Van Wilder, or Buried, because quite honestly, they weren’t your finest works.

Love

‘Belle (not as in the Princess mind, just in case you are disappointed!!)

xx

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24 Responses to “Dear Ryan…”

  1. Nate March 26, 2011 at 8:29 am #

    I’m willing to marry Scarlett Johansen to make sure they never get back together. No need to thank me.

    • newFledged March 26, 2011 at 11:41 am #

      new york times: “hero found guilty in saving the world.”

    • Rue March 26, 2011 at 8:36 pm #

      This sounds like it’s going to work out well.

      • Nate March 26, 2011 at 9:57 pm #

        Even the best laid plans of mice and men often go askew.

  2. newFledged March 26, 2011 at 11:39 am #

    language arts. finest one. thank you for saving my mornin

  3. Joanne March 26, 2011 at 12:15 pm #

    Haha this is how I feel about Patrick Dempsey. Except he’s still happily married. Although, truth be told, I’m not opposed to adultery. Just saying.

  4. vixter2010 March 26, 2011 at 1:09 pm #

    Haha I’m sure he couldn’t find better, you just need to hop it to LA and sweep him off his feet 🙂 Shotgun bridesmaid!

  5. prenin March 26, 2011 at 2:21 pm #

    Oh to have a body like that… (Sob!)

    Hope you get an answer soon hun!!! 🙂

    Love and hugs!!!

    Prenin.

  6. Redneckprincess March 26, 2011 at 3:35 pm #

    I totally feel like that about Keith Urban, seriously one day he will find out Nicole Kidman is not all that and a bag of Dorito’s…

  7. Sandi Ormsby March 26, 2011 at 3:49 pm #

    Wow- if anyone is going to fill Scarlet Johansen’s shoes, it would be you.

    As your Blogger friend, though, I must deliver some distressing news:

    Apparently, they have been separated for awhile…during that time the tabloids have already paired Ryan up with Sandra Bullock, as I think they spent the holidays (Xmas/new Years together) or on New Years he was at Sandra’s restaurant after the whole fiasco w/Jesse. (tsk-tsk-tsk)

    They both deny romance is at hand, and they are, in fact, just friends…but we know how that goes…

    I think Sandra is trying to steal your man!

    Sandi
    http://www.ahhsome.wordpress.com

    • tinkerbelle86 March 30, 2011 at 8:32 am #

      first she makes me cry in the blind side… i think she has a personal vendetta!

  8. Javi&Palace March 26, 2011 at 5:42 pm #

    Nate , so funny what you said !

    By the way, tinkerbelle, how did you find a photograph of mine without T-shirt? Do you use to spy me? Lol! joke.

    See you,

    javi

  9. The Mommy March 26, 2011 at 6:55 pm #

    it’s a good thing I am already taken…i might have to fight you for him…YuMMY! 🙂

  10. simplyshaka March 26, 2011 at 8:39 pm #

    You’re so sweet to take one for the team! But I think you will have to get in line behind lots and lots of women…..ok….and some men 🙂

  11. scorpria March 27, 2011 at 11:59 am #

    hahahahaha….good luck with that, considering the comment above 😉

  12. Sandra Bell Kirchman March 27, 2011 at 4:29 pm #

    lol go get ‘im, girl! You won’t get any interference from me. I’m partial to Keanu Reeves 😛

  13. Danielle March 28, 2011 at 4:17 am #

    I think if he flew here you should give him to your little sister 😀

  14. The Hook March 30, 2011 at 2:01 pm #

    He’s going to rock as Green lantern Hal Jordan!

  15. allmysecrets247 April 3, 2011 at 1:59 am #

    Oh, you would have to put up a fight for him! I love him, hes so hot you could bake cookies in him! But you called firsties so I guess you could have him.

  16. lina April 3, 2011 at 12:11 pm #

    i’m so sorry but i have to tell you… ryan and i will get married soon. :-p

  17. inidna April 3, 2011 at 4:33 pm #

    You know… I always thought he was engaged to Alanis Morissette. Was this like a decade ago? Haha, either way it looks like you’ve got a load of competition here. I, myself, find him quite pleasing to look at but I will bow out gracefully from this competition and let you go ahead while I hunt down my latest star crush, Eric Dane. … Or Alex O’Loughlin…. Or even Jesse Williams. Oh, if I could, I would take them all! Great post 🙂

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

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