Life According To Emma….

19 Mar

Life sometimes sucks. Life can knock the wind out of you at any foreseeable point and generally make you feel like complete rubbish, or it can kick you in the teeth when you least expect it. I’m lucky enough to have a friend who lightens my life at these moments, and generally, so this is the start of my “Life According to Emma” series. I might not update it regularly, but I feel the need to share them with you guys to cheer you up. They normally have some sort of basis and she is really intelligent, yet has a different way of looking at life. She is just brilliant.

“Isn’t the spleen extinct in your body because we don’t need to digest grass anymore?” me and Jim fell about laughing; she was referring to the appendix. In fairness, this was steeped in a bit of truth, so I’ll give her half a point for that. Emma 0.5, World 0.5.

When we were in Abu Dhabi, a man tried to swap her with us for a camel. It was hilarious. She wasnt impressed!! Emma 0.5, World (including camel man) 1.5

“ Make like a donkey and hit the road is a phrase, because donkeys have large dicks that drag along the road!” we questioned this, and Char piped up with “it’s actually because a donkey has to carry lots of heavy things and often get tired and fall over, therefore making like a donkey and hitting the road”. We actually Googled it then and there as we weren’t convinced on Chars answer either, and Em was right! Emma 1.5, world 1.5.

Last night’s one was my favourite. Picture the scene, we were stuffed with risotto, and in Jims case a three course meal of ice-cream, followed by risotto, followed by ice-cream. We were full, and watching TV, and Emma comes out with “don’t you just hate it when you fart inside?”

Sorry, what?

We asked her to explain, and she said that when you needed to break wind and you were in polite company, she hated it when you held it in and it “went off” inside, and it was embarrassing. This provided endless giggling from me and Jim, and trying to explain to her that farts weren’t like fireworks and they didn’t just ‘go off’ inside. She wasn’t convinced. By this point we couldn’t actually get words out due to intense laughing, all felt sick and in my case had tears streaming down my face. I can’t let her have a point for this, she isn’t a Catherine wheel. Emma 1.5, World 2.5.

Brilliant Emmy Lou, I love you!! Stay put for the next instalment, I’m sure it’s on its way pretty soon.

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16 Responses to “Life According To Emma….”

  1. kluckmeister March 19, 2011 at 8:20 am #

    I get by with a little help from my friends

  2. scorpria March 19, 2011 at 9:44 am #

    ROFL.
    The swapping for the camel — was that for real!? ahahahaha…the camel man looks very happy tho!

  3. prenin March 19, 2011 at 2:58 pm #

    Oh wow!!!

    I want a friend like Emma!!! PMSL!!!

    Love and hugs!

    Prenin.

  4. tinkerbelle86 March 19, 2011 at 3:27 pm #

    scorpia… the swapping for the camel was for real. look at the mans face!!! you dont get many blondies in Abu. and prenin.. everyone needs an Emma in their life.

  5. Captain Obvious March 19, 2011 at 7:25 pm #

    You and your Englsh spellings always throw me off 😛 This contest is quite intriguing. What would we do without someone to keep score?

    • tinkerbelle86 March 20, 2011 at 2:36 pm #

      you make me laugh!! i understand how that would be an issue when the english language was taken to america, some z’s were added, some u’s removed and now we confuse you with our quaint little spellings!! 😀

  6. Rue March 19, 2011 at 8:22 pm #

    This made me giggle.

    You know what, on my trip to Egypt with uni I was the only girl the locals didn’t want to swap for camels. It sucks when you’re the only one not worth your weight in camel!

    • tinkerbelle86 March 20, 2011 at 4:07 pm #

      i feel your pain chick, i wasnt even offered to be swapped for the mangy old cow either!! i guess casper skin and bright red hair is not the preferred choice!

  7. Redneckprincess March 19, 2011 at 8:32 pm #

    Hahahahha…I heart you too…really. Thank you for always making me laugh out loud!!!

  8. simplyshaka March 20, 2011 at 1:43 am #

    Hahahha, thats awesome.

    I love random quotes/questions from friends.

  9. paoang March 20, 2011 at 3:48 am #

    Hey there! Thanks for stopping by!

    The stories about your friend are totally hilarious; the “farting inside” made me laugh! 😄 Emma definitely reminds me of my best friend…one-of-a-kind!

    Hope to read more of your blog!

  10. brownpaperbaggirl March 20, 2011 at 4:23 am #

    Yay for friends that make us smile and laugh! 🙂

  11. Sandra Bell Kirchman March 20, 2011 at 7:25 am #

    I’m still choking on my drink. Note to self: do not have any liquid of any kind in mouth or hand when reading Tinkerbelle’s posts.

    How lovely to have a friend like that, one whom you feel absolutely and utterly comfortable with, who also makes you laugh.

    Btw, does Emma know you are keeping score? 😛

    • tinkerbelle86 March 20, 2011 at 10:28 am #

      Yes, I wrote the blog and got her to read it first in case she didn’t want any of it in there, she’s fully aware. She’s just a funny bunny 🙂

  12. Tony McGurk March 20, 2011 at 7:52 pm #

    Ha Ha this is an hilarious post, I didn’t know that fact abount dokeys. You have played an important part in my education.Emma sound like my kinda person because her reasoning makes sense to me. Thanks for visiting my blog.

  13. Sarah March 22, 2011 at 2:25 pm #

    hahaha this post made me laugh. Everyone needs a friend like this or two in their life. Every now and then, I kind of feel like I’m that person for other people…

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