Give Thanks to Spanx!

10 Mar

Spanx are the world’s best creation. Designed to keep all your flabby bits flat when you are wearing a killer outfit, they are just massive pants that reach to the bottom of your bra (some have hooks to prevent a bit of bulge spilling out the gap) and are like shorts down your legs. They are like the modern woman’s equivalent of a corset, and are simply brilliant.

They are however, pretty tight.


So when you are in them, there isn’t much change of getting out of them unless there is a nuclear explosion. Emmy and I bought some recently for a night out and upon changing my outfit I decided not to wear them. I danced around my super small bedroom trying to get them off for a full fifteen minutes, and nearly had a coronary once I was done. Phew!

When my friend Nicola got married a few years ago the spanx were a fairly new idea and I was appalled to hear that you couldn’t take them off for a wee, and (to be polite) there was a cleverly crafted wee hole to help you out. Gawd!! Cue two people holding wedding dress out of the way for toilet time. Hilarious!

You do have to be careful that they are the right size though, if they are too big you risk them rolling down and giving you a rather fetching spank roll, and if you have them too tight flab bulges out from unlikely places like your armpit or waist. If in the wrong hands they can be a fashion faux pas, but for the most part….

Who ever invented the spanx. God love you. That is all.

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28 Responses to “Give Thanks to Spanx!”

  1. Reggie March 10, 2011 at 8:37 am #

    Giggle… you always make me laugh, Tinkerbelle. 😀

  2. kolembo March 10, 2011 at 8:47 am #

    …So when you are in them, there isn’t much change of getting out of them unless there is a nuclear explosion….

    Fabulous post, shriek!

  3. Jules March 10, 2011 at 9:17 am #

    haha, great post!

    I love spanx/flab-holding underwear, such a great invention!

    x

  4. egills March 10, 2011 at 10:09 am #

    Ha ha.. they take just as long to get into as they do out of! I have vivid memories of trying to get out of them whilst drunk after a very successful evening, what with trying to get contacts lenses out, spandex off and makeup off I’m amazed I actually managed it!

  5. thoughtsappear March 10, 2011 at 12:14 pm #

    There’s a wee hole? Really?

  6. Blond Duck March 10, 2011 at 12:37 pm #

    I think a woman invented them, actually! I remember reading an article!

  7. dyan04 March 10, 2011 at 12:42 pm #

    Nice post. LOL! but i guess i will never be comfy wearing those.

  8. happykidshappymom March 10, 2011 at 2:33 pm #

    Funny as usual! Thanks for the smile to start my day. Makes me think of the spandex bathing suits we wore in high school swim team. I remember we needed friends to get them on! The straps were so tight we had to stand on each other’s sides and yank them up over our shoulders. Goodness. But you’re right — they served a purpose. Also, I wanted to let you know I gave you the Stylish Blogger Award:

    http://wp.me/p1jBAi-ag

    Have a fun day!

    • tinkerbelle86 March 10, 2011 at 2:41 pm #

      thank you!! you too.. my working day is half done so the end is near! 🙂 and tomorrow id friday ….

  9. melissasmeanderings March 10, 2011 at 4:21 pm #

    HA!! I’ve always wondered how people wee in those!

  10. the domestic fringe March 10, 2011 at 6:59 pm #

    lol! I need some Spanx.

  11. TheNoviceNosher March 11, 2011 at 12:26 am #

    LOL I had no idea there’s a wee hole. That is hilarious. Spanx are more handy than I thought…

  12. blunt delivery March 11, 2011 at 12:36 am #

    okay sooooooooooo. i’ve been wanting to try spanx for EVA!

    i don’t think they sell them anywhere around here though, so i’d have to order them online and i was worried about getting the right size. but they sound simply, dreadfully awesome.

    • tinkerbelle86 March 11, 2011 at 9:14 am #

      they are good, but if you get them too small you get a fat roll out the top!

  13. earlybird March 11, 2011 at 6:26 am #

    I do enjoy your posts – they make me smile – a good way to start the day. I too am fascinated to hear there’s a wee hole… most informative but I think I’ll stick to wearing camouflage clothes (ie ones that aren’t too tight!)

  14. LisaF March 11, 2011 at 2:07 pm #

    Your post made me laugh today! I call these things “sucky-inny-thingys” and they are exactly as you describe! It is an art to get them on, but they do the job well. Putting baby powder on beforehand helps a lot!

  15. Mindy@FindingSilverLinings March 11, 2011 at 3:07 pm #

    Have you ever watched Wanda Sykes’s stand up comedy special? She does this whole story about her gut (she named her belly fat Esther) crawling out of her Spanx on national TV. It’s hysterical! If you’re a Spanx girl, you would totally appreciate it!
    xo
    Mindy

  16. Carmen March 11, 2011 at 3:36 pm #

    HAHAHAHA!!! How funny! Thanks for the thorough description, I’ve always wondered if they were worth it…

  17. Sandra Bell Kirchman March 11, 2011 at 8:46 pm #

    Note to self: Do not read Tinkerbelle’s blog while drinking coffee. We don’t want to have to wipe the monitor off again, do we?

    Great blog, Tinkerbelle. In my day we had panty girdles that were much the same remover resistant. It seems technology has improved on an already dangerous garment.

    Thanks for the laugh.

  18. Laurie Holman March 11, 2011 at 10:34 pm #

    Funny post! I have to admit I’ve never worn spanx – they sound rather horrifying. I don’t usually like anything clinging that closely to my belly, unless it’s a guy.

    • tinkerbelle86 March 13, 2011 at 2:40 pm #

      ha! this made me laugh, i totally understand where you are coming from 🙂

  19. Nesha March 12, 2011 at 2:27 am #

    I must say that you have such a wonderful Blog here. I always appreciate a good laugh and your blog has done just that made me laugh. Please keep up the good work.

  20. thf2 March 13, 2011 at 9:33 pm #

    Laura! Thank you for posting this, I KNEW there was something I was missing that I needed to take on my hike!! 🙂

  21. let them eat kate March 13, 2011 at 9:43 pm #

    i’ve never tried spanx so i’m glad to know about the sizing…. might give it a try!

  22. themichaellamcollection March 23, 2011 at 7:42 pm #

    hilarious, simply hilarious!

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