Cookie Catastrophe

1 Mar

So this weekend Emma and I thought we would venture into the world of cooking. It was hesitant, sort of like when you get to the beach and you dip your toe in the cold water, pull it out and then tentatively stick it back in again to see if it got any warmer while you were deliberating.

We went to the shops and got all the ingredients for Nigella’s triple choc chip double dip fancy pants cookies, which should be marketed as a baked heart attack. We hit the baking aisle with aplomb, selecting raisins, chocolate chips and a big slab of cooking chocolate, plus eggs and vanilla essence, and took them home to prepare. (we did make a detour to the ice-cream aisle, after all, we needed something to go with them, didn’t we!!)

We went home, and realised that the oven wasn’t working. We fiddled about with it, utterly bemused as I had roasted a chicken that morning ( I can cook people, just not sweet delights) and after ten minutes of turning it on and off at the wall and nothing happening, we called a grown up.

Apparently it couldn’t be fixed, so we braved on, made the mixture and took it round to the mother ships to see if we could use her oven.  We laid the cookies out on the tray, and put them in, hardly being able to wait for our culinary delights to cook.

When we went down again, there was an unfamiliar smell of cheese on toast. What had happened?

The short answer is…. there was a small fire.

Basically what had happened was the baking paper had been hanging over the edge of the tray, and had set alight on the gas fire (so used to using electric ovens, I had not thought this through). I do have a confession to make though, I think that I had perhaps forgotten to turn the gas down when I had been lighting the flame. The cookies were black as night, and the windows had to be opened to assuage the smell of burning through the downstairs rooms of the house.

Maybe we will try again next week.

(Cartoon from Natalie Dee , where some of the funniest cartoons are born)

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13 Responses to “Cookie Catastrophe”

  1. textisle March 1, 2011 at 8:14 am #

    I had a good laugh WITH you, not AT you. I once made Hell’s Angels cookies. The recipe called for golden syrup and I substituted honey, which burns at a much lower temp. So all our hard work with the angel cookie cutter was wasted. Love the illustrations, every time I read Nathalie’s blog I laugh till it hurts!

    • tinkerbelle86 March 1, 2011 at 10:23 am #

      im not going to lie. they were completely black and the once raisins looked like rabbit poo. Emma still ate them.

    • tinkerbelle86 March 1, 2011 at 2:52 pm #

      i wouldnt mind if you were laughing AT me, it was a pretty pathetic attempt at domestic goddess-ism!!!

  2. prenin March 1, 2011 at 8:27 am #

    Having looked after Christine’s three kids for a few months I was stuck with a long weekender where Chris would be ‘busy’ and I had the job of being the responsible parent.

    I bought all the stuff needed to bake cakes – I baked a lot in those days – and we proceeded to make the batter with more enthusiasm than care and produced ONE large cake which went into the Oven.

    We were just debating cleaning up when Chris and Pat arrived to find the kitchen resembling a Flood. After a Fire. In a Flour Mill…

    It took half an hour to clean up the mess, by which time Chris and Pat had left, so they never had a chance to taste the cake which, in all honesty, was a little dry, but the kids polished the lot off in one sitting.

    All three are adults now and have moved on, but Pat still likes to remind me of our good times…

    Chris?

    Still around, still abusing substances and still hated by her kids…

    Love and hugs!

    Prenin.

  3. vixter2010 March 1, 2011 at 10:38 am #

    Ah poor you, better luck next time 🙂

  4. Nicole March 1, 2011 at 7:52 pm #

    How funny. It sounded doomed from the start. You should have taken the broken oven as a sign!

  5. sidewaysrun March 1, 2011 at 11:37 pm #

    The trick to cooking fanciful food that people will stare at and immediatly feel like they havent eaten in around 3 days while undergoing a triathlon being chased by angry badgers is pretty easy.

    Fire extinguishers! The moment they find out you put a kitchen fire out. they HAVE to eat it. If they don’t well….extinguish them! BAAAHAHAHAH! see what I did there…

    ……
    Ill get my coat…..

  6. EverythingArie March 2, 2011 at 12:13 am #

    I’d really love to know the recipe for the ” triple choc chip double dip fancy pants cookies, which should be marketed as a baked heart attack”.

    Unless, of course, they require more than 3 ingredients and more than 10 minutes of my attention. I have this thing with instant gratification. Mix that with my short attention span and attention deficit disorder and you get….

    Oh look! A cute picture of a bunny with a pancake on its head!

    (edit: I tried to publish this with said pancake bunny picture, but wordpress wouldn’t allow it to go through…)

  7. anne March 2, 2011 at 8:09 pm #

    What I find weird is that you have an open flame in your oven… I’ve used gas ovens before, and there is no way your paper could catch on fire… I mean, not by touching a flame, at least. Maybe by just being too hot for too long… because I have certainly burned stuff! I am pretty good at baking, actually, but I suck at cooking ‘regular’ food.

  8. thoughtsappear March 3, 2011 at 12:58 pm #

    Those cookies sound delicious (the ingredients, not the burnt part). I hope you give them another try!

  9. faithandstagefright March 4, 2011 at 5:06 am #

    Oh my gosh, this is like a day in the life of me! Great post … I posted earlier this week on setting kitchen fires. 🙂 Thanks for the laugh!

  10. acleansurface March 28, 2011 at 5:09 am #

    Loving the cartoon.

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