26 Feb

Nowadays the line between childhood and adulthood is blurred, often mixed into a strange ‘kidulthood’.
I realised I was an adult one day when I was driving my car. I was suddenly a little shocked that I was allowed to be in operation of a vehicle, let along own one, and had a little bit of a freak out on the M25 on the way to a meeting. Life just sort of creeps up on you, doesn’t it?
A year or so later, at twenty three, I had a freak out in the middle of the night. I woke up, sat bolt upright and glanced at then boyfriend, who was fast asleep. What the hell was I doing? Living with a boy? Owning two cats who depended on me to feed them and ensure they didn’t die? As a matter of fact, looking after a boy who depended on me to feed him and ensure that he didn’t die.
It was too much for me. He doesn’t know to this day, but I let myself out of the house and went for a walk. Silly idea really as the village that I never wanted to live in (he liked it, I prefer a bit of city noise) had no street lights and could have had psychotic killers lurking at every corner, but I wandered around for a bit and then got cold and went home.
The reason I thought of this was trying to explain to my twelve year old cousin in California why I couldn’t travel there this year. I explained that I didn’t have any time to take off work, to which she told me to just tell them I needed a holiday. I told her I couldn’t afford it, to which she seemed genuinely perplexed. “Can’t you ask your mom?” she said.
If I asked my mother to pay for me to go on holiday she would laugh, and quite rightly so. Because, the thing is, I’m a grown up.
And this SUCKS.


22 Responses to “Kidulthood”

  1. vixter2010 February 26, 2011 at 7:38 am #

    I know what you mean, it’s scary!!

  2. sarsm February 26, 2011 at 8:19 am #

    It doesn’t stop there either. I will be an ancient 40 next year and often fly into a mad panic about that. Or I look at my children and think OMG I am responsible for how they turn out.
    Between the crazy moments, just enjoy.

  3. Kate's Bookshelf February 26, 2011 at 9:34 am #

    I’m not where you are in life, but I totally understand. And it is an odd stage we are at. Keep your chin up.

  4. The Hook February 26, 2011 at 2:26 pm #

    Maturity can be a burden, it’s true. But hang in there, it has it’s rewards too.

  5. tknologlvr February 26, 2011 at 4:30 pm #

    I take adulthood over being back in high school ANYDAY!!!

  6. dtrasler February 26, 2011 at 4:47 pm #

    I agree with tknologlvr.

    • tinkerbelle86 February 26, 2011 at 4:48 pm #

      ive heard bad things about high school, i went to school in the UK which sounds a lot tamer 🙂

  7. inidna February 26, 2011 at 5:10 pm #

    Ha, I know exactly what you mean! Where is time going and WHY is it going so fast!? It’s weird how quickly we grow up without even realizing that we’ve passed those ‘invisible boundaries’ into adulthood–or kidulthood. I’m finding myself right at the transition stage of working at a proper office at 22 and it’s weird 😛 What a change!

  8. Seth@ChaosHQ's February 26, 2011 at 5:52 pm #

    Growing up is never easy. You hold on to things that were. You wonder what’s to come. But I certainly would choose adulthood (although I may not act like one at times) verses my childhood then to teenage years (tho’ the people who know me, realise that I never made it out of the first one.) I have greater freedom today and being able to make my own choices, most excellent!

  9. ANJA February 27, 2011 at 1:42 am #

    I got the same cold feet about this growing up thing,hehe..but I learned that no matter how hard I refuse to grow, the time keep ticking and it’s not funny anymore if I stick on my childish behaviour while everything in my body showing that I’m an adult, grey hairs…arrghhh!!

  10. Anja February 27, 2011 at 1:45 am #

    OO..and I forgot to say Thank you for visiting my age effect just showing again, hehe

  11. Lori February 27, 2011 at 2:11 am #

    How true is that- men do need us to ensure they’re fed and keep them alive, don’t they?
    Seriously, life did creep up. Fast. And it just goes by faster and faster with each passing birthday. It’s scary.

  12. Tien February 27, 2011 at 2:31 am #

    I feel you Tinkerbelle, I feel you…… 🙂

  13. This Italian Family February 27, 2011 at 4:04 am #

    So true. Some days I just stop and think, “Am I really an adult now? When did this even happen?” So weird…

  14. chak February 27, 2011 at 4:33 am #

    Growing up? What growing up? I think i missed that opportunity at some point and i still can’t find it! I realized this when i got stared at in a coffee shop pretending the biscuits i was dunking in my tea were drowning sailors from a doomed 17th century trans atlantic exploration ship. The other point where i realised i was still mentally defunct was when i didnt just shrug or ignore said staring humanoid, but grinned and waved furiously at them! Screw growing up i say. If i can still finger paint, i bloody well will!

  15. prenin February 27, 2011 at 5:54 am #

    I’m 50 years old, looked after 42 kids who are now parents, but still play Video games and generally act anything BUT my age!!! ROFL!!!


    Oooh YEAH!!!!

    Love and hugs!


  16. theonlycin February 27, 2011 at 6:29 am #

    Oh Honey, I’m 47 and I still can’t believe I’m a grown up 🙂

  17. rantonit February 28, 2011 at 3:54 am #

    So very true . I’m 19 …. and I totally get what you’re saying , it is still s new feeling when it creeps up on you like that. I like the way you write 🙂

    • tinkerbelle86 February 28, 2011 at 4:12 pm #

      thank you so much. glad you are enjoying it.

  18. Fox@n March 1, 2011 at 3:57 am #

    Lol yeh kinda know how you feel but thank god I’m not up to that point yet. But good luck.

  19. eva626 March 1, 2011 at 5:34 pm #

    lol good luck !!!

  20. Sandi Ormsby March 15, 2011 at 1:52 am #

    Hahahah! I love this post! Yes, being a grown-up sucks. I’m trying to explain “saving money” to my 5 & 7 year old. No, we can’t go to Disneyland every day. No, we can’t hang out at the park every day after school, mommy has to get home, work, so she can pay the electricity bill so that you can play video games and we have light, and pay the water bill so we can shower and brush our teeth.

    I told Vix, we have a “couch” you can stay on in our tiny condo in South Orange County. It’s within driving distance to everything. You would just have to deal with my kids waking up early! 😉 HA!


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