The One That Got Away

15 Feb

A recent title suggestion for the daily blog was “the one that got away”. We’ve all got one of those, haven’t we? Whether it is someone who we went out with and things didn’t work, or someone that nothing really ever happened with, yet for some reason your mind is cast back when you are having a rough day, everyone has a little fish that escaped.

And, like the millions of other people in the world, I’m not unique. I have a one that got away.

In actual fact and in defence to him, he never really was mine for the taking, never really being anywhere that he needed to get away from, so maybe I will name him the what if? The what if is a person who I met five years ago this month and who I immediately fell for. Realistically, he isn’t perfect; he’s rough around the edges and has a complacency to settle for things when really he should just man up and make changes to the parts of his life that cause his stress. Yet at the same time there is something about him that attracted me like a moth to a flame and over the years has caused me to get my fingers burned.

Nowadays, he has merged effortlessly into being a friend, someone who I think about and worry that life is passing him by. No longer does he phone me, when drunk, in the middle of the year and sing Little Donkey to me, or tell me that he loves me a little bit; because we are grown ups and that isn’t conducive to life. We exist in peaceful harmony, sometimes a quick phone call or a text message but for the majority of the time just knowing the other person exists and is there if ever a chat is needed is enough. Yet years ago when I first started the tumble into quiet adoration, I would spend hours of my day just thinking about him, wondering if he knew how I felt and whether he even cared.

My what if always listened to what I had to say and asked questions as if he cared; about my sisters health and my job and my general wellbeing. And this is what caused me to be so besotted for such a long time. Now I know that should I call him he would be the same, asking the right questions and giving the right answers, reacting patiently to my jokes and making me feel like right then, I am the most important person in the world.

Bob Dylan had it right, “I know you haven’t made your mind up yet, but I will never do you wrong. I’ve known it from the moment that we met, no doubt in my mind where you belong.”

So if this was another life, and things weren’t the way things were, I’d be happy with my what if, and no one would be settling for anything. Our lives would be intertwined, and we would be happy. And if human nature didn’t negate for us to be aware of our actions, I would have told him the honest truth years ago, and laid my heart on the line. Now I feel I can express this, as I have accepted him as a friend and learnt to not feel as if my heart is breaking. How I have grown!

But having a what if or a one that got away isn’t a bad thing, it’s a process that we all go through and something that helps us, as humans, define our boundaries. So be proud of the one that got away; you are most probably someone else’s heart escapee too.

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4 Responses to “The One That Got Away”

  1. Emma Billington February 15, 2011 at 9:28 am #

    This is my favourite blog so far! Its so true and i can definitely relate. Love it! x

  2. Nicole February 16, 2011 at 11:37 pm #

    What a great post. I love Little Donkey too. You never know, there is still time, he could be ‘the one who came back’?

  3. DumbFunnery February 17, 2011 at 12:57 am #

    “first started the tumble into quiet adoration”

    I really like that line! And the post in general.

    Onto the next fish eh?

  4. sidewaysrun February 24, 2011 at 12:05 am #

    I hate Dylan. He makes me say things like “totally right” and “I hate you Bob Dylan”

    I’m gonna go listen to some Bob Dylan.

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