Mornings and Me Will Never Be Friends

26 Jan

Ok, I hold my hands up in the air and come in peace, I agree, I am a totally rubbish morning person. So, I intend to remedy this by adding fail safe ways to arrive at work looking polished and perfect, like a Stepford – employee, instead of the bedraggled, threw my hoodie on and couldn’t find my mascara aura that I currently present.

Step 1: Decide what I am going to wear to work the night before, and put it neatly. This will minimise scrabbling around trying to find clean socks / where i put that top I want etc etc.

Step 2: Set the alarm half an hour earlier, so when I snooze it for half an hour, I am still up a whole thirty minutes early.

Step 3: go downstairs, full of the joys of spring and have a cleansing cup of hot water with lemon, rather than a anxiety inducing cup of caffeine- full tea.

Step 4: eat breakfast in the comfort of my own home, instead of getting crumbs on my desk at work. This should be cereal or something healthy like fruit and yoghurt, rather than thick white bread smothered in butter and marmite.

Step 5: leave the house fifteen minutes earlier, to prevent the manic space finding effort in the car park, frantically watching the time tick by before I am later for work while cursing all the yummy mummies whose children don’t have to walk to school, like I did as a child, come rain or shine.

And the reason why however I try, this will not work:

Despite setting the alarm thirty minutes early, my sleepy self will just continue to snooze it, safe in the comfort that i have an hour to do so before I will be late for work. I therefore will rush to get dressed, grab the nearest hoodie, not bother with make up and arrive at work looking like I have been dragged through a hedge backwards. I may have composed, adult ideas, but something’s are destined to never change.


One Response to “Mornings and Me Will Never Be Friends”

  1. Crepes of Wrath January 26, 2011 at 7:06 pm #

    I, too, have planned to do this exact same routine, and I, too, have failed every single time I attempt it. C’lest la vie!

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