My mother is often nicknamed Doctor Diagnosis by me and my sister. This is an affectionate nickname coined from the fact that she often has a remedy for any ailment that you may have, and is like a walking pharmacy for any medicine you could possibly need.
But it seems that she and I are not the only ones who have a doctor diagnosis; if you go on the internet you can find hints and tips from people that they have heard from someone else, and the intricate world of medicine becomes heresy and Chinese whispers.
More often than not, and for some inexplicable reason, the remedies involve tea bags. Think about it, they do, don’t they? Sore eyes that are puffy from lack of sleep? Cold tea bag. My favourite one is someone very close to me (who I will not name) who revealed that her toe nails were damaged at the base, and so were flapping off (gross). She had gone on the internet, and it was recommended that you cut up a teabag, paint a little clear nail varnish onto the nail, stick the membrane from the tea bag over and then re coat with more clear nail varnish. Apparently the idea was to form a ‘fixer’ so that the nail could heal without getting caught on something, say, a sock. Now, she has half a teabag weirdly stuck to her toe, which she doesn’t want to pull off in case of doing further damage, and she can’t now go to the doctor for fear of having to explain the whole sorry tea bag tale to him. Brilliant. I think it may be a while before she finds an old wives tale that will actually mend a ripped nail. I wait in trepidation!