Early Morning Malheureuse

19 Oct

Most people would say that getting up in the morning is difficult, but i have a massive reluctance. Anything that would be slightly annoying in the day is magnified by a million, and until i have the required amount of tea, I am horrible. I cannot have a clock radio, as being woken up by the playing of Simply Red in the morning is like being stabbed in the face with music, and ANY noise makes me insane with anger. This is irrational. But a friend’s housemate had it right. Sitting in his house, over a cup of tea, or course, she informed me that her boyfriend was her alarm clock, and the only way he could get her out of bed in the morning was to bring her a cup of tea and rub her back till she woke up,. Where did she get him? I want one!!

My inability to get up in the morning makes me totally unreliable too. In my youth, I would make appointments before work, for the hospital, or the dentist, or even to accompany a friend to the gym. Now I am older and wiser, I know that this is simply not going to happen, as I like to snooze the alarm for at least an hour before rising and CANNOT move unless I know I’m literally at the last second before I’m late for work and lose my job.

But why is this? Excuses aside, like Seasonal Affective Disorder (I like to snuggle up in my bed as soon as darkness descends, but this is because I am half human, half chinchilla), I am just pure lazy. My bed is heaven, and if i could be anywhere else, I wouldn’t. Except maybe on the beach in the Caribbean, or in my bed in a hotel in the Caribbean.

I think there is something to be said for not going to work. Regardless of how much you like your job, it’s really hard to get up with a spring in your step, knowing its Monday and a week worth of paperwork will have to be gently destroyed before the Saturday morning lie in dawns. And this is multiplied by at least a million if its dark and or raining.

So David Cameron, I have a suggestion. Make anything from October to March a weekend, so we can all go to Barbados. OK, we’ll get the classic Barbados fro (don’t mention this to my sister, it’s still a touchy subject) but at least we’d be warm!


One Response to “Early Morning Malheureuse”

  1. Jo October 26, 2010 at 4:01 pm #

    Ha, this girl is a genius and a girl after my own heart, listen up Cameron, best suggestion since you’ve been in government me thinks!!!

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