The Bald Vegetarian

17 Aug

My friend is currently having man problems. The problem being, the man. She has fallen for an interesting character, who is bald, a psychologist and a vegetarian.

I would like to say at this juncture, I have nothing against bald men; they can often be very good-looking, and normal. Hair is quite clearly not the be all and end all. Look at Jason Statham! But i draw the line at a man who is a vegetarian, not because it disagrees with him, but for ‘lifestyle choices’. Especially as it would seem the lifestyle choice is simply that his ex girlfriend was a vegetarian, and he seems to have become one by association. I’m outwardly suspicious of vegetarians (as you can probably tell) but male ones give me the heebie jeebies that little bit more. Just have a day off, and eat a bacon sandwich. It’s for the greater good.
Also, the man is a psychologist. Imagine going out with a psychologist. She regularly tells me stories where she has said something, and he has asked why she said that. Or what was behind her saying that? I have to admit, this would turn me into a paranoid ball of nerves. We have discussed this at length, with even things like her choosing to have half a pint instead of a dainty glass of wine potentially harming his over analytical opinion of her. Would this make him think she was a beer swilling rugby player with family issues? We wondered? Or would he just think she fancied a pint?

I believe that not eating meat has a strange sort of effect on the modern man. Maybe it dates back to the day of the caveman, killing mammoths and devouring them, or maybe it’s just a strange nuance, a throwback from some odd hippie commune. Answers on a postcard please…..


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